Return to Me
by Skyla1
Summary: They made a promise to always be together, but will they break all the rules to keep it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wish I did cuz they're all so kawaii.  
  
Chapter 1: A promise made  
  
"Rui-kun!"  
  
A tiny seven year old girl swung her head down calling to the quiet little boy staring up at her with dull eyes. Her pigtails fell down over her shoulders touching her legs and close enough to the boy's head to remind him of the fairytale damsel, Rapunzel. She reached out her tiny hand for his.  
  
"Come on Rui! It's almost time!"  
  
"Tsukushi, you're going to fall."  
  
The little boy looked up at his playmate with his usual deadpan expression not showing the slightest interest in whatever she wanted him to do this time. With a wary look he turned around to return to his open window leading to his welcoming bed.  
  
"Please!" The little girl pleaded. Her glassy eyes as large as saucers began to well up with tears. "I promise you'll see something this time."  
  
He stopped at the sounds of her protests letting his impenetrable mask break for a moment. At such a young age of seven he bore a perpetual expressions that appeared to have seen more of this world than most grown men. It was those eyes that could break his dark, frozen soul. He nodded his head in defeat and took her hand pushing himself up to the large bough of the tree she sat on.  
  
They sat hand in hand in silence looking up at the night sky with their legs dangling a few feet above the ground. Tonight the two small figures sat alone that dark night only to be illuminated by the gentle moonlight. The long bottom of her white nightgown flapped in the wind dancing in the air between her hanging limbs. He dressed in his ghostly attire of a white shirt and bottom. Together they appeared as two waiting angels for the heavens to open up to them once again to return home.  
  
Hanzawa Rui was not an ordinary child at all. From the day he was born, he had the ability to stop grown adults dead in their tracks with his barren face and dead eyes. After many years of failed attempts the Hanazawa family was finally blessed with a son. He was their last chance at having a child at their age and they were more than grateful to be given the miracle of having a child. They held such high expectations for their unborn child. However, the day he was born was not a joyous occasion, but one racked with fear and dreading. His birth had not been an easy procedure. After hours of labor he came into this world blue and almost lifeless. The doctors rushed him away from his frantic mother screaming to see her child. You see, upon leaving his mother the umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck strangling him as he was being pulled out. After performing emergency CPR they had managed to find a faint heart beat out of the small, frail boy. His mother and father stayed by his side weeping and begging to god to spare this little life for weeks. The doctors said that he was teetering on in that thin line between life and death. Nothing more could be done. For now, it was up to him whether or not to stay in this corporeal state. Thankfully, the child chose life over death for reasons that will never be known except by him.  
  
Although he was the pride and joy of his parents, they couldn't help but feel like they had given birth to a complete stranger. He never let anyone into his secret world. He was breathtakingly beautiful with his piercing blue eyes and mousy brown hair, but behind that beauty there lived an inner turmoil no one was ever able to soothe. As a baby, he would drive them insane with worry to be completely silent and unmoving one moment to switch to incessant crying for hours until falling into bouts of vomiting the next. Everyone just assumed he was a very sickly child. He never smiled, nor did he laugh. Servants would whisper amongst themselves with their superstitious beliefs that he was a punishment upon the house. Behind the backs of the parents, they would refer to him as the soulless child or even a devil child. His parents vehemently ignored these whispers and Mrs. Hanazawa guarded over her child with a fierceness like a lioness over her cub. His behavior never bothered them. They loved him nonetheless.  
  
The first years of his life had remained that way with his parents protectively guarding over him watching his every move. They refused to let Rui out of their sights. Therefore, the few friends he did have were selected by his parents. As the heir to one of Japan's richest corporations it was only fitting that he be groomed to enter high society. Thus, his days were spent in planned play dates with the children of the only other three families that compared to their wealth. It's strange how children can see people in a clarity that adults lose along the way in growing older. Nishikado Soujioro, Mimasaka Akira, and Tsukasa Doumyouji were the three young boys who befriended this lonely boy developing their own protectiveness to speak and do the things he would never do.  
  
They each had their own way of relating to Rui trying to free him from his shell. Akira was the playful one of the group always trying to find little ways to bring a smile out or laughter from Rui. Even though he did not know it, his cheerful attitude was enough to bring Rui out of his dismal world. Soujiro was always the talkative one of the group sweet talking the maids and female servants into getting them extra cookies or ice cream. He was selfless when it came to Rui sneaking extra treats to his friend. It can be argued whether or not a young Tsukasa even like Rui. He was constantly annoyed by Rui's passive behavior. All the fights and bruises he brought upon Rui by his own hands or the stunts he forced the boy to partake in were all in good intention to make him join the living. F4. That was the little family they had formed. Their beauty rivaled only that of flowers, delicate and timeless.  
  
Although Rui found friends close enough to be brothers they were never enough to awaken him fully. By the age of seven, he had yet to have laughed or smiled for the first time. Everyone had given up hope seeing him as incapable of showing any kind of happiness or affection. It wasn't until a chance meeting with a little girl that his world would be changed forever.  
  
Makino Tsukushi, was a little girl filled with more than enough energy and emotion for two people. The Makino's too had been blessed with a child the same year as the Hanzawas. As a young couple she was just an unexpected surprise that had filled their lives with more joy and happiness they ever thought was possible. Although they were relatively poor constantly moving form one place to another never really finding a permanent home, they were happy as long as they had each other. As survivors they made enough to get by. It was by Mr. Makino's good luck to be hired by the Hanazawa corporation that finally brought them stability. Mrs. Makino managed to secure herself a maid position working under Mrs. Hanazawa that gave them a house on the mansion's grounds. Soon they became loyal employees under the Hanazawa name. Little did Mr. and Mrs. Hanzawa know that by welcoming the Makino's into their lives the little five year old girl hiding behind her mother's skirt would give them the greatest gift, finding their son.  
  
It was all a chance meeting that brought the two children together. Tsukushi had snuck out of the house to explore the grounds once again while her parents were both at work. She happily skipped, jumped, and ran across the lawn with her skirt and pigtails flailing behind her like a mad person. It was the faint muffle of a child crying that brought her to a stop.  
  
**** Flashback****  
  
"Why are you crying?" Tsukushi squatted next to the little boy while playing tic tac toe by herself in the dirt with a stick in her hand.  
  
The boy looked up through bleary eyes at the smiling girl next to him. In indifference, he buried his face back into his knees and began to cry again.  
  
"Sometimes its okay to just cry."  
  
Tsukushi was more persistent than he would have imagined. She sat down beside him and placed her head on his shoulder closing her eyes.  
  
Suddenly, his tears stopped and he opened to look at the little girl leaning against him. Never before had anyone ever told him to just cry. His parents, servants, and even F4 had learned to just leave him alone or scolded him to stop when he fell into one of his crying fits. She was different.  
  
"Tsukushi opened her eyes upon hearing the silence. "You look much cuter when you aren't crying. You face gets kinda scrunched up and funny looking like this." She squinted her eyes and contorted her face trying to recreate his solemn crying expression. She struggled to maintain the face before falling over in giggles. She rolled back in forth holding onto her stomach that had begun to ache.  
  
Rui stared at this girl who dared make fun of him. There was something about the way she was so carefree and innocent. Her laughter. Her smile. It was if she knew something the rest of the world didn't know. From inside, he felt something growing that he had never experienced before. As he watched her rolling around the lawn in giggles his lips began to curl. Before he knew it a rumble of laughter erupted from his lips. Her laughter was contagious.  
  
Tsukushi stopped rolling on the ground in shock. She watched the little boy's eyes light up in laughter. Quietly from her pocket she took out the Polaroid camera her father had bought her for her birthday and snapped the picture. When she pulled out the warm piece of paper from the camera she waved it in the air and watched in anticipation as the colors began to slowly appear. She walked up to Rui and held the picture up to his face.  
  
"I like you better this way."  
  
"You're strange," he muttered in a small voice.  
  
He looked down into the picture in disbelief. Could it be the same person he saw everyday in the mirror? He clutched the picture in his hand and looked up at the smiling girl who was now running in circles around him chasing after a butterfly leaping in the air to touch it. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her.  
  
"Tsukushi!"  
  
"Rui!"  
  
The children both turned to look in the direction of where there voices were being called. Fomr the main house a very worried Mrs. Hanazawa ran towards Rui grabbing onto his hand and pulling him up from the ground.  
  
"You had us so worried Rui. We were looking all over for you." She looked down on the ground at the piece of paper that had fallen out of his hand. Her eyes widened in shock and with a trembling hand she picked the photograph up from the ground.  
  
Mrs. Makino ran up to Tsukushi and scooped her into her arms.  
  
"Thank god I found you! You've got to stop running away from the house like that."  
  
Tsukushi touched her mother's face and patted her head. "You shouldn't worry so much Mama. I wasn't alone."  
  
Mrs. Makino laughed in exasperation. No matter how much she tired it was always too difficult to stay mad at her daughter. "Who were you with?"  
  
"That boy over there."  
  
Her mother's mouth dropped open in horror upon seeing Mrs. Hanazawa standing in front of her eyeing them suspiciously.  
  
"I'm so sorry my daughter was bothering you. She slipped out of the house when I wasn't looking." She bowed her head down low in fear knowing very well how protective Mrs. Hanazawa was of her son. She cringed in fear hoping she wouldn't be fired. It was an unspoken rule in the house that only a select few chosen by the Hanzawas were allowed to come in contact with their son.  
  
Mrs. Hanazawa picked looked at the little girl with the camera around her neck and glanced down at the picture. "Did you take this picture?"  
  
Tsukushi's eyes lit up at the mentioning of her piece of art. She scrambled out of her mother's arms and ran up to the older woman grinning from ear to ear. "That's mine!" she screamed waving her hands while jumping up and down in the air.  
  
Mrs. Hanazawa lowered herself onto her knees laughing in amusement by the very energetic girl jumping up and down in front of her. She buried her hands in her face letting the tears drip onto the photograph.  
  
Tsukushi stopped in mid jump and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Did I do something to make you sad?"  
  
She looked up at the little girl with the worries eyes and smiled. She patted her on the head and picked up the photograph hugging it close to her chest. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was just happy. Did you know this is the first time I've ever seen my Rui smile? How did you do it?"  
  
The little girl cocked her head to the side perplexed at such a strange question. "All I did was this." She scrunched up her face once again mimicking Rui before bursting into a big smile and giggles.  
  
Rui's mother stood up from the ground laughing at the little girl's face. "That looks just like my Rui."  
  
Tsukushi took the camera from her neck and placed it in her mother's hands. "Mama can you take a picture of me and my new friend?" She ran next to Rui and placed her arm around his shoulder.  
  
Her smiling mother took the camera and pointed it towards the two children. "Ready! One! Two! Three!" She pulled out the black paper from the camera and handed it to her daughter who frantically waved it in the air. Her eyes lit up as the figures became clearer.  
  
"It's done!" She held up the picture to her face grinning from ear to ear. She turned to Mrs. Hanazawa standing next to her mother. "You can keep that one. I like this one much better." Tsukushi waved her precious photograph of her and her new friend in the air prancing around the adults in circles.  
  
**** End Flashback *****  
  
From that day on they were inseparable. It was always like this. She would crawl into his bedroom in the middle of the night disturbing his peaceful slumber wanting to show him something or another. Usually it would be something silly like the time they stayed up all night looking for the moon goddess by the lake in his gardens. They waited all night by the lake falling asleep on the lawn after a long period of waiting. They weren't found until the next morning when their mothers came running out of the house in a panic upon finding two empty beds. Although they were both severely scolded for sneaking out all night, he always took the blame for it all. She was always caught up in her innocent fantasies of angels and fairies from heaven.  
  
Now sitting in the trees staring up at the sparking stars blasted over the night sky Rui couldn't help but feel at ease with Tsukushi. She incited something in him that no other had ever done. Maybe she was his real life angel.  
  
"Rui, it's almost time," she whispered into his ear. "Mama told me it was going to happen tonight. There's a legend that if two people meet on a night like tonight and see this they will be together forever." She pointed her finger up at the sky. "There it is!"  
  
Rui looked up towards the direction she was pointing in awe. The night sky was illuminated in lights by the meteor shower. "Beautiful," he mumbled to himself.  
  
Tsukushi clapped her hands in glee. Her face remained fixed on the sight in front of her not paying attention to Rui next to her. As she stared forward she asked, "Rui, promise me we'll always be together." She whipped her head to the side looking for an answer, but to her surprise his answer was a rather unexpected one. Her eyes widened in shock. She closed her eyes letting the moment take over feeling his warm lips pressed against hers. Under the watchful eye of the moon and the screeching meteors soaring across the night sky, a pact was made. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own much of anything.  
  
A/N: I was feeling inspired by reviews to continue this one shot. Some of you may not like what I've done to the story. I warn you in advance things have taken a weird turn. Review if you like how it's going so far!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and months turn to years all in the blink of an eye. It's believed the best time in your life will be your childhood. It will be the most crucial time in the development of your life determining what type of person you will be. It will be the time where you will find your first real friend, your first crush, your first kiss, and perhaps the dream that will establish your entire future. It's all a matter of who you knew, what you did, and what you got out of it that matters.  
  
Like all good things, childhood was something Rui and Tsukushi had to bid farewell to. Somewhere in the middle of endless games of tag, hide and go seek, and cootie shots they didn't realize that boy and girl had turned into man and woman. Their minds had refused to see the truth that was becoming evident from that small crack in Rui's deepening voice and the newfound curvature in Tsukushi's figure. It was an awkward time for young persons their age. It was a time filled with acne, glasses, braces, and erratic new body growths. They were minor details to the two. For all they saw in each other was their friend, one half of the other.  
  
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Somewhere in the distance of a long winding road stood a girl leaning against a pole letting out another heavy sigh. She glanced up for a moment under heavy eyelashes, squinting through her glasses in hopes to see the faint impending shape of the bus. Her heavy book bag hung over her shoulder slumped to the ground going unnoticed by the girl. She fumbled with her hair trying to retie the long locks into the perfectly symmetrical neat plaited braids she usually kept them in. The cool summer breeze shifted up blowing harder down on her making the edges of her skirt flutter in the wind. Uncomfortably she shifted in her clothes that suddenly felt restricting and itchy. She tugged at the collar of her blouse while pulling down the hem of the skirt that she always considered too short for her tastes. It was school policy, so there was no way out of it. The echo of cars honking at her roused her from her melancholy state. She smirked at the sight of two pristine sports cars winding around each other tempting one another testing the nerves of its drivers. A knowing smirk flickered across her face mischievously. With the loud screeching of tired, the cars came to a halt in front of her. Four men stepped out of the cars grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"I win!' Akira shouted holding up his arms in victory.  
  
"You cheated! I saw what you did," Tsukasa bellowed pointing an accusing finger at Soujiro.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about?" Soujiro shrugged his shoulders. He leaned against the car staring up into the deep blue sky feigning innocence.  
  
"Don't give me that. How could I miss you're bare butt pressed against the glass? Any other driver probably would have completely lost control of their car with the sight of that."  
  
"You know you liked it, baby," Soujiro laughed while playfully slapping his butt.  
  
Rui walked away from the bickering trio with a concealing the look on his face that juts screamed "I don't know them." He picked up her fallen bag on the ground and swung it over his shoulder as if it was light as a feather. "How was your day?" he quietly asked.  
  
"Same as always. It just feels good to know that today is the last day of school. Like the saying goes, 'No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher's dirty look'." Her light airy laughter surrounded them enveloping them all in her cheery warmth. "I can't believe our first year of high school passed by so quickly." She leaned back against the pole for support while looking up at the clouds swimming past them in a haze. She pointed a slender finger up in the air giggling to herself, "Hey Rui, doesn't that cloud look a lot like pig."  
  
Her stoic companion smiled to himself. Some things never changed. Tsukushi would always be Tsukushi with her head up in the clouds. "Really, I thought it sorta looked like you."  
  
"Jerk!" she wailed punching him lightly in the arm. She redirected her attention towards Soujiro, Akira, and Tsukasa while cocking her head to the side. "What's up with those three anyways?"  
  
"Tsukasa's just mad that he lost a race against Akira."  
  
"Ahh, I see. I can still see Soujiro's butt print against the glass." She lazily kicked a rock next to her shoe hitting Tsukasa in the ankle. "I think we should end it before there's blood shed. Tsukasa looks like he's about to blow."  
  
"Ow! What was that for?!"  
  
She picked herself up from her comfortable leaning position and marched right up to the three men who although were the same age seemed to tower over her by a head. Unflinching she smacked him over the backside of his head. "Don't tell me you were out racing again! You don't even have a license yet! What would you do if the cops caught you idiots tearing down the streets with no license, no insurance, and complete lack of proper driving skills?! You could have hurt somebody!"  
  
Tsukasa opened his mouth to rebut, but was rendered speechless by her acute assessment of the situation.  
  
"Ooooh! Somebody's in trouble," Soujiro and Akira chorused snickering behind her.  
  
She quickly spun around and gave each of them a swift kick in the shins in response to their taunting. "You two should know better, too."  
  
His temper was flaring up as usual in distaste at her utter lack of respect for him. Even after all these years, it still pissed him off that a girl who was probably on the bottom of society's food chain found the right to boss her around. "Why should I listen to you anyway? My family practically owns this city. No cop would dare stop us knowing who I am. Plus, I've been driving since I was 13. I can manage a simple street race against Akira. I'll do as I damn well please."  
  
"Oh man."  
  
"He's dug himself deep this time."  
  
Tsukushi returned his glare taking one step forwards. Her dangerous whisper directed right at him was enough to make anyone's blood run cold. She plastered on a saccharine sweet smile concealing her rage. "You're right. You're family probably could buy off all the damage you do, but I know one person who would set you straight faster than you can say ouch."  
  
Tsukasa flinched under her attack knowing she would pull out her trump card. It was always her winning ticket in their arguments.  
  
She tapped a finger against her lip. "I wonder what Tsubaki would think about all this. I believe she would be thrilled to know that her underage fifteen year old brother has been drag racing in the middle of the afternoon without a license. Or better yet how would she like to know that you took her favorite Porsche out for a joy ride?"  
  
The mere utterance of her name drained all color from his face. "You wouldn't."  
  
"You want to try me."  
  
"Score one Tsukushi. Tsukasa zero." Akira muttered.  
  
"Fine, you stupid woman," Tsukasa sulked folding his arms over his chest pouting. "Come one guys, let's go. I don't even know why you made us stop for her," he grumbled.  
  
"I'm gonna miss this," Soujiro sighed. He draped one arm around Tsukushi pulling her closer to him. "What are we going to do with no one to engage Tsukasa in battle?"  
  
"Yeah, Tsukushi. It's not going to be the same without you here." Akira sandwiched her between the two hugging onto her other arm for dear life.  
  
"Aww. You two really know how to make a girl feel wanted."  
  
"Dude! Hot girls at ten o'clock."  
  
The two playboys quickly withdrew their arms from Tsukushi as if she had the plague. They smoothed out their clothes for the nonexistent wrinkles making sure they were the images of perfection.  
  
"I'll take the one at the right. Ready?"  
  
Akira nodded his head while his lingering eyes stalked his prey. "Break!"  
  
Like two sleek panthers they easily slipped draped their arms over the two giggling girls whispering sweet nothings enticing them into their trap. Tsukushi rolled her eyes already expectant of the outcome of the situation. One minute it's their precious Tsukushi that is until some hot girl passes by.  
  
"Hey, well see you later at the party, right?" Akira revved up the engine earning with his arm around the perky blonde.  
  
"Sure. Remember it starts at 7."  
  
Soujiro leaned back in the backseat already deep in his game of seduction with his own companion. He broke his attention for a moment to lean out the window with a smug lopsided grin plastered to his face. "Is it ok if we bring our new friends?"  
  
Tsukushi sighed shrugging her shoulders in defeat. It wouldn't be the same without those two sex crazed teens ditching her for a girl. As odd as it sounds, she had had come to rely on the comfort of their idiocy. "Sure." Before she had a chance to say another word the screeching of car tires rang through her ears. "Same old same old," she grumbled.  
  
"Get in the car already. I'm tired of standing around here. Why do you feel the need to take the bus anyway?"  
  
She eyed the driver behind the wheel shuddering at the thought of barreling down the road at 90mph with the music blaring at unfathomable decibels. "Yeah right. Some of us don't have death wishes. I'd rather be wedged between fat smelly man than ride in a car with you."  
  
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "You coming or not, Rui?"  
  
"I'll stay here."  
  
"Fine. God, do you realize how demeaning it is to ride on a bus with other commoners? I wouldn't be caught dead on public transportation. It's beneath you." Flashing one of his overly confident, egotistical smiles he sped off leaving a cloud of dust and exhaust in his wake.  
  
Tsukushi proceeded back to her previous position leaning against the cold metal pole. "I'm really going to miss arguing with that idiot," she sighed. She pushed up the rim of her glasses repositioning them on her nose.  
  
Rui stared blankly at her giving no trace of emotion on his face. "It'll be quiet once you're gone, but not too quiet."  
  
"I guess. That pineapple head will never shut the hell up," she laughed. "The bus is here." Tsukushi snatched her book bag out of Rui's hand and slung it over her shoulder. Like everyday after school, she laced her hand in his and dragged him onto the bus shoving their way towards the back. It had to be the back of the bus or nothing. Tsukushi always believed that if you had to ride on the bus, you should ride in the back to feel every bump in the road where it's most fun.  
  
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"My ass is going to hurt after this ride," Rui yelped as the bus hit another large pothole.  
  
"Shut up and enjoy the ride already you big baby. I want to memorize every detail of this ride home." She leaned out against the window pressing her face to the glass. "Times like this I wish you were quiet like you are around everyone else. The scandal it would be if the world saw the great Hanazawa Rui complaining."  
  
"You should be glad I bestow my gift of speech on you," he sneered pretending to act pompous. It wasn't hard since he was using the same tone Tsukasa spoke with 24/7.  
  
"Don't think I can't beat the crap out of you," she warned sticking out her tongue. "You would think that after riding the bus with me for the past year, that you would have gotten used to this. No one told you to ride home with me every single day."  
  
"Well somebody has got to pick you up. Who knows where the hell you might end up. I still remember that first day of school when you called in panic after you missed your stop and ended up somewhere across town."  
  
"That wasn't my fault!" she protested.  
  
"Yeah right. I think spacing out and finding yourself in the middle of nowhere qualifies as not being your fault. One day you're going to have to get your head out of the clouds."  
  
"Yes, mother." Tsukushi pulled the cord on the bus signaling the driver to stop. "And one day you're going to have to stop being so damn serious."  
  
"It's called being responsible."  
  
"Whatever." She opened the window and stuck her head out a bit to feel the cool wind hit her face. "It's going to be hard to leave all of this behind."  
  
"You could stay you know. My mother offered to let you stay here and live with us."  
  
Tsukushi warmly smiled at him for his efforts to get her to stay. "I would never miss seeing my new little brother. I'm still not over the shock that my mother is pregnant. God, I never wanted to imagine that my parents were still doing THAT. They're too old to be having another kid." She leaned back against her seat staring out the window with a blank expression. "It will be nice living with my grandparents. Mom won't have to worry too much about some extra help when the baby comes and she won't have to work anymore."  
  
"My dad was glad about the offer to head the office in Okinawa. It's one less office he needs to worry about."  
  
"I guess everything worked out pretty well in the end." She stood up and hopped down the steps of the back door waving a goodbye at the driver. "Bye, Saito-san!"  
  
The old driver turned around and waved back smiling. "Bye, Tsukushi!" He chuckled as he watched her sullen friend follow her from behind nodding his head in embarrassment watching Tsukushi skip down the street. Those two certainly were an odd match. It was hard not to notice the finely pressed Eitoku uniform he wore. It was a stark contrast to Tsukushi's plain uniform that he recognized as the local public high school uniform. Those two were as opposite as night and day. One was always smiling and laughing, while the other was somber and expressionless. It was still hard to fathom how the two could be friends.  
  
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Rui walked slowly behind Tsukushi in fascination. He could no longer suppress the small smile tugging at his lips thinking about the way she still acted like she was in elementary school. For no reason, she stopped in mid step and turned around flashing him a toothy grin before skipping ahead. He nodded his head agreeing with himself that he would have her no other way.  
  
Even at the age of fifteen she still refused to give up her childish, girly fanciful ways. Tsukushi was one of those girls that never ceased to amaze him. She was unlike the rest of the girls he had ever met. The ones at school all treated him differently as if he were some sort of freak. He knew the way the girls stared at him was purely out of hormonal urges. It was the same look the rest of F4 received wherever they went, awe, fascination, and pure adoration of their looks and status. They were all fake. As a quiet observer of human behavior, he noticed the way those girls obsessed in front of their mirrors trying to recreate some sort of warped idea of beauty and perfection through any means whether it be padded bras, caked on make up, or that attitude of pure snobbery they took on. Tsukushi was different though. When she smiled, she did because she was happy. That was what made her stand out. He could read emotions so easily as they played out on her face from the way her eyes gleamed when she was up to no good, to the way her cheeks flushed when she was mad.  
  
He stopped for a moment and looked at himself. They were really an odd pair. He never thought much about outer appearances, but he knew according to society's standards he was quite handsome. He had escaped puberty better than most with his fair complexion without a single spot of acne and his body perfectly lean and tall. He wasn't exactly muscular or anything, but he had a certain lankiness in his frame that matched him. His messy brown bangs just naturally seemed to fall over his face in that cute way making him all the more mysterious. Tsukushi always mentioned the fact that every time his hand moved to brush the annoying hairs out of his eyes that most girls would kill to be able to be the one doing it. He chuckled at her suggestion thinking she was just being silly.  
  
As Tsukushi walked in front of him, he became mesmerized by the sway of her two braids going back and forth. Tsukushi wasn't exactly plain, but she wasn't exactly the classic beauty either. She always said she preferred to not waste her time on makeup and artificial means of beautifying oneself, but even she had her bouts of vanity. He recounted how many times he had to bear her moans of disgust as she dissected every aspect of her body. She hated the braces she had to get earlier that year and almost killed Tsukasa when he mentioned the nickname "metal mouth". It was only another thing to be added to her list along with the glasses she started wearing in the fifth grade. Things only got worse when the guys began noticing girls and commented on Tsukushi's lack of upper body endowment or once again to Tsukasa's detrimental observation, "her flat as a board chest." That almost left him hospitalized until both Soujiro and Akira both pried her arms off his neck. She got over the wise cracks, though and moved on. She almost had a field day when Rui revealed the secret Soujiro's headgear he wore at night, Akira's special shoes for his bad posture, and not to mention the concealer Tsukasa demanded from his sister at the sight of any blemish that appeared on his face. With the newfound knowledge and a little blackmail, there were no further jabs at each other's personal appearances.  
  
"Hey, Rui!"  
  
"What?" he croaked out slightly disoriented from being interrupted in mid thought.  
  
"Race you back to the house!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she darted like a bat out of hell past the mansion gates. "Last one there's a rotten egg!"  
  
Never to be one left behind in Tsukushi's dust he ran after her patting her on the back in a taunting manner as he sped past her. "You're going to need to move a little faster than that!"  
  
Tsukushi ran until it felt like her heart was about to explode stopping in front of the door to her house. She keeled over hugging her knees thinking she might cough out a lung. Glancing up she noticed that Rui had failed to even break a sweat. "You really suck, you know that! You're so perfect it makes me sick."  
  
"You're just jealous," he laughed patting her on the head like a dog.  
  
Before she could even place her key into the lock, the door swung open revealing Rui's mother giving one last big hug to Tsukushi's mother.  
  
"It's not going to be the same around here without your family, Reiko. Are you sure you won't reconsider? I could be persuaded to raise your Make sure you take plenty of pictures of that little one. I'll take it as a personal insult if you don't send me dozens of photos."  
  
"Don't worry. You'll be getting weekly updates once this little guy comes out." Tsukushi's mother laughed as she patted the large mound of a stomach she carried. "I'm sure Tsukushi will be snapping photos of her little brother all day long until we go blind from the flash she laughed.  
  
"Hello, kids," Mrs. Hanazawa smiled.  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Hanazawa," Tsukushi weakly waved with a tired hand. "Thank you for the new camera by the way. It will come in handy once Susumu is born."  
  
"Think nothing of it, dear. Just think of it as an early birthday present from my husband and I." She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Tsukushi in a tight embrace whispering in her ear, "I'll never regret the day you entered this house. You found my son for me. I worry what he will do without you," she sighed. She released Tsukushi and patted Rui on the back. "Let's leave them to finish packing. They've got a big day ahead of them tomorrow."  
  
Rui nodded his head and waved a goodbye.  
  
"I'll see you at the party, later!"  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
"Bye, Yuki," Tsukushi whispered through bleary eyes as she hugged her best girl friend goodbye.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer, but I've got to catch a late flight to Canada. I was lucky enough to talk my dad into waiting a day before he took the family on another one of his business trips."  
  
"You've got my new address right?"  
  
"Right here," she smiled as she pulled out a slip of paper form her purse. "Make sure you call me when you get settled. I'll miss you!" Yuki wiped away the onset of tears beginning to flow form her eyes with the back of her hand.  
  
"Same here. You better go before I completely break down like you." She hugged Yuki one last time and watched as her friend walked out the door sadly waving goodbye. With a heavy heart, she walked back into the house dreading the many more goodbyes she would have to make that night. She re- entered her going away party accepting a few more goodbyes from fellow classmates she had known over the years. She scanned the room noticing how the large room was beginning to thin out. A hand tapped on her shoulder and she turned around smiling brightly.  
  
"Good luck in Okinawa, Tsukushi," the boy smiled. He awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
"Thank you for coming, Amon." She leaned forward giving him a quick hug and stepped back. "I hope you keep in touch. I'll be insulted if you don't," she joked.  
  
"Okay," he grinned. He turned around and walked out the door running to catch up with this group of friends.  
  
"What, no kiss?!" an obnoxious voice said from behind her.  
  
"I must say, that was a pitiful goodbye," Soujiro agreed.  
  
Tsukushi turned around glaring at the two playboys poking fun at her rather awkward goodbye to her ex-boyfriend. "How would you act around someone you broke up with?"  
  
"I avoid them all together," Akira nodded.  
  
"You're the only person I know who makes an effort to remain 'friends' after breaking up with someone."  
  
"I hate that weirdness, but I couldn't not avoid him."  
  
"Is it just me or doesn't that guy bear a striking resemblance to Tsukasa?"  
  
"You know, after you first told me that I couldn't kiss him without feeling like I was looking at Tsukasa. You're evil."  
  
"Well, he does."  
  
"Who does?" Tsukasa asked from behind the group.  
  
Akira jumped in surprise. "What the hell was that? I thought Rui was the only one who popped up on people like that."  
  
"Like this?" Rui's monotone voice asked from Akira's other side.  
  
"Ah! I hate it when you do that. It's like you're some creepy stalker."  
  
"No one answered my question. Who looks like me?"  
  
"Tsukushi's ex-boyfriend," Soujiro answered.  
  
Tsukasa flashed one of his pompous grins that made Tsukushi want to wipe off with her fist. "She only dated him because she couldn't get the real thing. All she could have of me was some poor imitation."  
  
"I did not date him because he looked like you already" Tsukushi face was turning redder and redder by the moment.  
  
"I'm surprised some guy even found you barely decent looking to go out with in the first place."  
  
"Well at least I've had a boyfriend. Let me count all the girlfriends you have had so far." She stuck her hand out in front of her face mock counting a number with her fingers before crushing her hand into a fist. "Oh yeah, you've never had one," she triumphantly smiled. "No girl will go near you."  
  
"I could go have any girl I want!"  
  
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. We all know you're still pining over me," she giggled. "You're just jealous."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"I always wondered about him," Akira whispered behind his back.  
  
"Well, Tsukasa does have the mentality of ten year old. I think he insults her as some weird way of masking his true feelings. What do you think Rui?" Soujiro turned to Rui looking for some sort of response.  
  
Rui's lips remained tightly sealed. He looked curiously upon Tsukasa wondering how the poor boy had never realized that perhaps he had a little bit of a crush on Tsukushi. He remembered back to the day that Tsukushi had introduced Amon to them wanting everyone to be friends. He wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms by Tsukasa or the rest of them for that matter. They never told Tsukushi the truth, but a few weeks before they persuaded her to break up with him they had found out his true motives for liking her. He thought she was wealthy like the rest of them and could maybe mooch off a few bucks here and there. Tsukushi thought he was only borrowing money from her and using her to associate in a much higher life style than what he was accustomed to. He was basically using her for the perks.  
  
"I'm sick of arguing about this. It's late and I need to be up early tomorrow morning. Let's just say our goodbyes and get them over with." She walked up to Akira and Soujiro giving them long hugs whispering a few words in their ears. When it came to Tsukasa she only extended a friendly handshake and much to her surprise, he grabbed her into his embrace.  
  
"You better come back soon."  
  
"Don't worry. I promise I'll be back in a year and I'll have a ton of new insults ready for you," she laughed through tears.  
  
"You better come back or I'll hunt you down myself and drag you back here. Who else is going to make that rock over there smile?" He gestured towards Rui with a look of pity.  
  
With a quick peck on their cheeks she waved as F3 disappeared out the door. Inside she worried about what would happen to those three. She knew none of them would be able to keep Tsukasa's anger problems in check. Akira and Soujiro would probably become greater womanizers. Someone mainly she was responsible for whipping them into shape. Rui was the one she worried the most about. Would he revert back into his shell? Leaving them behind was one of the hardest things she had to do. She thought about all the good times they had shared since they were children wondering what life would be like without them. All she could feel was a growing empty hole in her heart that was growing wider with each second.  
  
She felt a familiar hand land on her shoulder sending shivers down her spine. "It's your turn I guess," she sighed. She backed up resting her back against his chest listening to his rhythmic heartbeat through his shirt. She closed her eyes trying to memorize the feeling of being held by Rui, her Rui, the boy she had grown up with.  
  
"I want to show you something," he whispered into her ear.  
  
Obligingly she stepped away from him and took his outstretched hand falling him outside into the gardens. In a daze, she walked behind him taking in the sight around her. At night there was always an eerie tranquility about the gardens that reminded her so much of Rui. She suddenly stopped when she realized that Rui had let go of her hand and was now nowhere to be seen. She looked around her lost in her own confusion wondering where he had gone. Looking out, she fondly recalled where she was. It was a spot overlooking a small lake that when she was a child seemed enormous. The moonlight shimmered across the ripples in the water reflecting small specks of illuminated light against the trees.  
  
"Give me your hand."  
  
Tsukushi looked up recognizing Rui's voice to see him sitting on a bough of the tree she was standing next to. She smiled and put her hand in his stepping against the tree for more support as he lifted her up beside him. Silently she sat there with her hand still in his and leaned her head against his shoulder. She swung her legs back and forth noticing how familiar this all felt. Rui always gave of this feeling that evoked nothing less than home. "Do you remember what happened here?"  
  
"Of course, I do. I was hoping there would be a meteor shower, but all I could do was this."  
  
Her eyes widened immediately as white spark lit up in the air one blast after another. Large fiery balls screamed up into the ear exploding into a burst of white light falling down in a shower of sparks. One after on more fireworks exploded in the air before them in a magnificent shower of light. "It's beautiful, Rui," she whispered.  
  
He remained rigid staring forward at the fireworks display he orchestrated just for her. Rui turned to look down at the childish smile playing on her lips basking in the enjoyment he found whenever he pleased her. "I knew you would like it." He continued to stare out into the night sky until the very last sliver of light fell to the ground. Nothing could last forever and he knew the time they had was drawing to a close. "I don't want you to leave," mumbled.  
  
"Neither do I, but I have to. I won't split up my family." She squeezed his hand tighter. There was a certain quaver of uncertainty in her voice when she spoke the next few words. "It will only be for a year. I promise I'll come back. It's not like you'll never speak to me again. There's always the phone and e-mail. You could even come visit me if you want. I didn't know when to give you this, but now is as good a time." She reached for her purse and pulled out a tiny parcel wrapped in white paper with a dark navy blue ribbon securely tied around it.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Just a little something to remember me by."  
  
He carefully tore off the paper and held a small silver case in his hand. Slowly he cracked it open and revealed a photo frame with a picture of Tsukushi staring back at him. Her hair was falling down in waves down her back pooling over her bare shoulders. Her lips curled up in a small smile. Her rosy cheeks contrasted her porcelain complexion. With her head tilted down at an angles wisps of hair fell covering half her face, but beneath the hair he could see a small glimpse of her deep brown eyes. Any other person would have no clue who was in the picture with the face obscured by hair and a strange angle, but Rui could clearly make it out as Tsukushi. As a private joke, she had adorned herself with a pair of soft white angel wings. The diaphanous white gown she wore teasingly revealed a bit of her pale skin beneath while intensifying some sort of white glow that formed around her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You notice something strange about the picture?"  
  
"Why?" he asked cocking his head to one side quizzically.  
  
"Look at the tree."  
  
He squinted a little harder trying to grasp what she was talking about. Somewhere behind her head there was a faint carving behind her head. In small scratches on the bark were the letters, HR and MT. "I don't remember that being on the tree."  
  
"Come down here," she called from the ground below.  
  
He hopped down to the ground into a crouched position before standing upright. He looked up to see her hand over the scratches on the tree.  
  
"I thought we since this was or tree we should mark it as ours. I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but we'll always have this. It's our promise. We'll always be together."  
  
"Always," he replied.  
  
She ran forwards and jumped into his arms wrapping her arms around his neck. He could feel her warm tears falling onto his neck making the hairs stand up. "I don't like saying goodbyes to you."  
  
"We'll do it at the same time, okay."  
  
"Okay, in the count of three we'll turn around and walk away. No looking back, though."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
"Ready. One, two, three."  
  
Rui felt the warmth around him disappear as she turned away form him. He turned around stumbling to walk the few paces away, but in the end broke his promise. For a brief second, he glanced behind him and saw her bury her face in her hand breaking out into a full run away from him. Her figure became smaller and smaller as she ran farther away. He felt a little guilty being a coward and looking back, but he didn't regret it one bit.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
"Hey Rui! Are you coming already?"  
  
Rui nodded his head in silent agreement falling in step with F3. They strode through the airport purposely headed towards the airport terminal where she would be coming from. For the first time in her life, Tsukushi had broken a promise. Bitterly Rui recalled the fact that she had not returned after one year as she had promised. In the blink of an eye, five years had passed and she had yet to return. Now after a long wait she was coming back to him, but not he way he had expected her to.  
  
Tsukasa pushed through the crowd looking out for any signs of her, but grimaced. "Why didn't she just take the private plane like I offered her?"  
  
"You know Tsukushi doesn't like any special treatment or frills," Soujiro repeated for the tenth time that day.  
  
Akira hopped up and down over the crowds of people trying to catch a glimpse of her. "I don't see her yet. She said her flight would be in at 2."  
  
Rui sullenly leaned against a pillar string blankly into space. He carefully hid his excitement and anticipation.  
  
A petite figure emerged out of the gate feeling a bit disoriented after her long flight. She pinched her cheeks trying to rouse herself from her daze. It felt like her heart was beating as loud as the clacking of her heels against the marble floors. She had waited behind a few minutes for the plane to empty out before getting off herself. She hated crowds and thought it would be smarter to wait for the crowds to disperse before getting off. She pushed her sunglasses up onto her head pulling back her bangs. Straightening out the wrinkles in her white silk slip dress she took in a deep breath calming the butterflies in her stomach. She looked down making smiling at the simple platinum band with simple princess cut diamond in the middle. Bending down to pick up her bag, she flipped her long brown locks behind her and proceeded towards the familiar faces she was looking for. She squealed in delight as she launched herself into the arms of the man she had come to see. Enveloped in his warmth she felt safe and comfortable.  
  
The man bent down and captured her lips into a crushing kiss not wanting to let go of her ever again. He released her from his heated kiss and possessively laced an arm around her waist. He turned to F3 and smiled with a smile they had never seen him with before. "I've missed you," he huskily whispered into her ear.  
  
"I've missed you, too."  
  
Proudly grinning, Akira turned towards F3. "I love saying this. I would officially like to introduce you to, Tsukushi, my fiancée." 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own much of anything.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Unintentionally Rui's body reacted to the sound of those words by backing away. No matter how many times he had heard those words uttered from Akira's mouth they spoke more truth at that moment than any other time. It was foolish to believe that it was simply another one of Akira's wise cracks joking about how one day he would one day marry his favorite singer Ayumi Hamasaki. Now standing in front of him was his Tsukushi wrapped in the arms of one of his best friends giving life to the gravity of the situation.  
  
She playfully smacked Akira on the arm and wriggled herself free from his hold. "It's embarrassing when you do that," she laughed.  
  
"Any girl that would agree to marry this fool should be embarrassed," Soujiro snickered. He picked Tsukushi up in his arms twirling her in the air around him. "It's been too long."  
  
"Put me down, Soujiro!" She felt her feet delicately hit the ground as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck in a long hug. "It's so good to see you."  
  
"It took you long enough to get off that damn plane," Tsukasa complained. "The next time you decide to run out on us I'll personally hunt you down and drag you back here."  
  
"I missed you, too, Tsukasa," she smiled. She pulled him down into a hug and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek causing his face to burn red. "You know I came all the way back here just to kick your ass."  
  
"And I thought you came back because of me," Akira pouted.  
  
"Not everything is about you. my dear." She turned her head to the left and right noticing one person missing from her welcome party. She called out to him seeing his slight figure shielded by the pillar he had propped himself up against. "Rui!"  
  
Pushing everyone else out of the way she jumped into him knocking him off balance away from the pillar and stumbling backwards. Luckily enough, he managed to regain his balance and awkwardly held her body up a few inches of the ground. Her arms snaked around him in a deathlike vice. He gasped for air feeling like he had just been punched in the gut. Generally he would have been annoyed at such a public display of affection, he could not hide the small smile that forming at his mouth.  
  
"Welcome back," he said in a barely audible whisper.  
  
She only hugged him tighter at the feel of his chest rumbling against her body as he spoke. He was really there in the flesh. "I've missed you most of all, my Rui." She stepped back to take a better inspection of him.  
  
To say that Rui had not changed for the better would be a complete lie. He was still taller than her, much to her annoyance. Beneath his simple white t-shirt that hung loosely off his body she could see the faint traces of muscles what would be a slight six pack. His arms had become more toned showing a hidden strength in them. Although he had grown into the body of a man, his face still gave away a rogue boyish quality about him with his messy bangs falling over his eyes. Through it all, she could still make out the shy little boy she had befriended years ago.  
  
She hooked her arm around his and pulled him into the small circle. "The airport is nice and all, but I think it would be nice if we continue this joyous reunion somewhere else."  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Tsukushi practically jumped out of the car before Akira had the chance to put the car in park. She ran up to the door of the familiar manor graciously greeting the woman she could only refer to as a second mother.  
  
"I almost didn't recognize you, Tsukushi," the elderly woman laughed. She stepped back to fully take in the sight before her. "You're mother failed to mention how beautiful you've become."  
  
Tsukushi bowed her head down slightly trying to hide the apparent blush spreading across her cheeks. "You're too kind. It will be wonderful having you at the manor again." She picked up her hand carefully inspecting the engagement ring gleaming on her finger. Clucking her tongue, she wistfully sighed, "Knowing that you children are old enough to get married and start their own families soon makes me feel only older. There I go, getting sentimental again. I'll have someone help you bring your bags to your flat. I'll leave you children be, but you and I young lady have much to discuss later. I want to know all the details about this." She poked at the diamond on her finger and smiled.  
  
"Of course, and I just wanted to thank you again for letting me stay here again."  
  
"Think nothing of it. You'll always have a home here." Rui's mother silently slipped back into the house with a knowing nod.  
  
Turning around she hopped down the front steps and began to walk down the long lane towards the servant quarters of the manor. "I wonder if it'll look exactly the same," she muttered to herself.  
  
Slowly, she meandered through the gardens inhaling the smell of freshly mowed grass. She passed familiar faces recognizing them as members of the house staff her mother worked alongside with and many of whom had watched her run rampant like a wild demon child through the estate. Their eyes followed her graceful steps sensing a vague familiarity in her face, but not quite grasping exactly her identity. A few looked completely aghast when she walked up to them making herself known. Disbelief was written completely across their faces followed by warm greetings on her return. After taking her time reacquainting herself with the ground she found herself on the doorstep of the home her parents and she once lived in. Everything seemed eerily the same as the time when she left it. The entire estate in itself seemed to have escaped untouched by time. Entering the door, she pulled off her heels rubbing her tired feet to find four men lounging around in her living room surrounded by boxed stacked from the floor to the ceiling. She trudged into the room listening to the creaky floorboards beneath her feet. Arms reached out and pulled her down into a warm lap. Feeling to tired to put up a struggle she allowed her body to sink deeper into his alp and rested her head against his chest.  
  
"Get a room!" Tsukasa yelled in disgust tossing a pillow in their direction.  
  
"You're just jealous that I have a beautiful woman in my lap and all you have to cuddle over there is a Hello Kitty doll!" Akira strengthened his hold on Tsukushi cuddling closer to her body. He laughed at the way that Tsukasa had absentmindedly picked up the doll left on the chair he resided in at present and chosen to hug rest it in his lap.  
  
"Enough fighting you two. I've had a long flight and the last thing I need is a migraine added onto my jet lag. Just give me some peace and quiet for a few minutes so I can regroup."  
  
"Geez, when was the last time someone lived here?" Soujiro ran a finger across the coffee table leaving a clean trail across the dust covered top.  
  
"No one's lived here since Tsukushi's family left." Rui slumped lower in his chair watching the small particles of dust dance in the streak of sunlight coming from the window.  
  
"This place is barely inhabitable. Why the hell are you living here anyway? You're engaged to Akira, I thought he would have at least enough sense to help you find a decent place."  
  
"Well, I did offer her to stay with me at my apartment."  
  
Tsukushi folded her arms knowing where this conversation was going to lead to. "You only have one bedroom."  
  
"And your problem would be?"  
  
"You've got such a one track mind!" She leapt out of his clutches and plopped down beside Rui on the armrest of his chair.  
  
"Come on, we all know that not one person in this room can claim to be of virginal innocence." Soujiro looked directly into Tsukushi's eyes grinning widely.  
  
"If my mother asks I am still one." She stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"It seems even the purest of us all has been corrupted."  
  
She placed a hand over Rui's. "So when do I get to meet the love of your life, Shizuka? I've been wanting to see the woman that managed to steal my Rui away," she laughed.  
  
"She's in Paris right now interning with one of the local law firms over there. She should be back by the first day of school." He glanced down at her hand and pulled his hand away as if he had been scorched.  
  
She frowned at his sudden movement, but brushed it aside as nothing not thinking too much of it. "Since I have four very strong and able bodies here I think I'll get you all to work helping me unload some of this stuff out of the boxes."  
  
"What do you think we are? Slave labor?"  
  
"Yeah, aren't you only referring to Akira. He's already whipped."  
  
"He can't do this all on his own."  
  
"Hey! I resent that whipped comment."  
  
"Enough slaves! You'll be paid for your services. How about dinner, my treat? I promise it'll be something very special." She jumped up from her comfortable spot on the chair. "Let me change into something more comfortable. The boxes are labeled for which rooms they should be put in. be careful with everything though. I don't want to find my plates smashed into a thousand pieces." She pointed towards the boxes and dragged a small suitcase into the bathroom closing the door behind her.  
  
"Let's get to work I guess," Soujiro sighed as he picked up the closest box labeled kitchen.  
  
Rui nodded his head and picked up a box behind his chair. He watched in amusement as Tsukasa fervently began clearing boxes putting them into the appropriately labeled rooms. If there was anyone that could order Tsukasa around and get away with it, it would be Tsukushi. He picked up a rather heavy box grunting under the burden of its weight and carried it towards the bedroom.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"Now when you said dinner, I thought you would be referring to a five star restaurant with candles and elegant music in the background," Soujiro sighed as he picked up another slice of pizza from the box.  
  
"Pizza in my living room is just the same. It's not every day that I get to enjoy the company of the four richest heirs in Japan sitting on the floor eating pizza out of the box on paper plates chugging cold domestic beer." Tsukushi sat cross legged on the ground leaning against the couch between Akira's legs. She tugged at her baggy t-shirt knotted around her stomach for a better fit. Her long legs spread out from her body having her thighs barely covered by a rather beat up pair of cut off shorts. Her hair was pulled bag into two French braided pigtails and topped off with a backwards baseball cap. "Hey, you should be so lucky to share such fine dining with a beautiful lady as myself." She pushed up her black-framed glasses pushing them up with her index finger onto the crook of her nose.  
  
"What beautiful lady? All I see is what looks like twelve year old boy. What can be sexier than that?"  
  
"As much as you like to believe, underneath it all a girl would trade in her heels and dresses for a pair of sneakers and a comfy pair of sweats. I'm sorry, but you're not worth the effort to look good for."  
  
"Sexy you are not, maybe cute."  
  
"Ew! Are you saying you like twelve year old boys?!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"You walked into that one."  
  
"You eat this stuff?" Tsukasa poked at his slice of pizza trying to decide whether or not to try to strange commoner food.  
  
"All the time back when I was in New York. It doesn't exactly taste the same as Famous Ray's, but I guess this is passable. In my old college dorm, we would always have pizza and beer on Friday nights to unwind after a long week of studying and exams." She reached into the box for the last pineapple slice, but instead felt a hand. She looked up to see said hand belonging to Rui. "Go ahead, you can have it."  
  
"No you take it."  
  
She frowned yet again for the twentieth time that day. "Naw, you can have it. I'll get something else."  
  
He pulled his hand away and took a long swig of his beer. He looked away staring blankly at the nightly news blaring on the television.  
  
Soujiro popped open another beer sucking up the frothy foam spilling out over the top. "Man, school starts in a few weeks. I can't deal with the pressure anymore. It's really going to put a damper on my partying. Now that Tsukushi's here, I've lost my partner in crime. Tsukasa scares the ladies away. Rui's too loyal to Shizuka. I'm all alone now," he sighed.  
  
"Don't worry man. Remember playboy solidarity!" Akira clapped his disheartened friend on the shoulder trying to lift his spirits.  
  
Tsukushi shot him a deathly glare silencing him in mid-high five. "I hope you're joking. I better not find out about you messing around with other girls. You know the rules."  
  
He pulled his hand back wiping the silly smirk off his face. "I'd never cheat on you."  
  
"He's right. If he did I would personally kill him for you," Tsukasa grumbled glaring at Akira with a wary eye. He cracked his knuckles as a sign of his vow to keep his promise.  
  
"Aw! You're so sweet in your own violent and overprotective way," Tsukushi giggled. She stifled back a yawn stretching her arms out over her head releasing cracks in her aching joints. "I didn't realize I had brought back so much junk with me. At least I made a small dent in the unpacking process." She glanced around the room taking note of the few open boxes leftover instead of the towers that once resided in random spots of the room. "God, in a few months I'll have the joy of packing all this stuff back up again," she sighed.  
  
"You could have saved us all a lot of time if you just moved in with me like I offered."  
  
"Yeah, you're right, but I still have one more year as a free woman and I plan to enjoy the last moments of pure unfettered single life. Anyway, I don't want to give people the wrong idea."  
  
Soujiro leaned backing his chair chucking his napkin into the wastebasket a few feet away. "I still can't believe how you managed to hide your engagement these last few months. Usually the paparazzi would have had a field day knowing that Mimasaka Akira, infamous womanizer, was going to be married."  
  
"And that is why I plan on keeping it private. Do you know how many angry women would be after me knowing I took one of the infamous F4 out of the meat market? It's not an everyday thing that people like you choose who you marry. Like you all said, it was either choosing a girl of equal standing or let your parents choose."  
  
"I just lucked out that my parents adore Tsukushi, not to mention my two bratty sisters. I almost forgot. They've been bugging me about when I would take you home to see them. They haven't shut up for weeks about you coming back to Japan."  
  
Tsukushi slapped him on the leg. "Don't talk about your sisters like that. I think I'll drop by your parents place tomorrow. I promised I would take Suzume and Aiko shopping when I got back."  
  
"But I want you all to myself!"  
  
She laid her head on his lap yawning. "I've got so much stuff to take care this week. I still have to go down to the university and finalize my registration, unpack and clean up this place, and catch up with my other friends." She gently patted his thigh. "You can stay over here tonight if you want."  
  
"I think if I have to watch anymore of this I'm going to puke!" Tsukasa clapped his hand over his mouth mock puking over the side of the chair. "I always thought you had better taste than that, Akira."  
  
Tsukushi clenched her fist making her knuckles turn white. Her head remained downcast concealing the very annoyed look on her face.  
  
"I think that's our cue to be going!" Soujiro jumped up from his seat and grabbed Tsukasa from the collar of his neck. "We'll see you guys tomorrow."  
  
"Mhmph!" Tsukasa muffled from underneath Soujiro's hand as he was being shoved out the door.  
  
"I think I'll be heading out, too," Rui mumbled to himself. He abruptly sat and placed his can of beer onto the table. His body swayed a little teetering back and forth before he managed to balance himself out.  
  
"Umm. Do you need some help getting back to the house?" Akira asked.  
  
"Naw, I'm fine," he nodded. He stumbled out the front door swerving back and forth on the long pathway towards the main house.  
  
The couple worriedly watched their friend stumble out the door wondering if he would make it in one piece. They walked towards the doorway carefully watching his figure disappear through the night fog.  
  
"Maybe I should go walk him back just in case," Akira suggested. "How much did he drink?"  
  
"A whole six pack, I think," Tsukushi replied staring out into the night trying to make out the faint trace of his disappearing body. "Does he usually drink like this?"  
  
Akira shook his head. "I haven't seen him like that since the night before Shizuka left for Paris."  
  
"Why would he get drunk the night before she left?"  
  
"It's a long story. He wasn't exactly thrilled when Shizuka announced out of the blue she would be leaving for Paris the entire summer within the week. Rui threw a tantrum claiming that she didn't care enough to tell him about something like that in advance. He wanted her to stay. The night before she left we had a little going away party. Rui partied a little too hard and said a few words that even Tsukasa would regret. The next day Shizuka told us all she didn't care about what he said because she knew he was just angry. The real kick in the ass was when he didn't show up at the airport to say goodbye. We all called him to come, but he never showed up. "  
  
She looked up at her fiancée wondering why she was never informed of this. She had always thought Rui told her everything. Within her five year absence, she believed Rui would have had the courage to confide his frustrations to her. They rarely kept any secrets. "I didn't know. I'm such an idiot for bringing up when I would get to meet her. Being the stubborn ass that he is, I bet he hasn't spoken to her since their argument."  
  
"Rui has kept a lot to himself these past few years. He rarely tells us anything really. Shizuka has called each of us trying to get us to persuade Rui to return her calls. I don't understand him. He's been acting weird lately. I think I'll go run up and catch up with him to make sure he gets back to the house."  
  
"No, you stay. I'll go check up on him." Tsukushi stood up on her tiptoes and quickly kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon."  
  
Hearing the door close behind her she ran up the path to try to catch up with her inebriated friend. The sound of the bottoms of her plastic flip flops hitting the pavement echoed through the air. Within ten minutes she had run up to the house breathless. To her surprise, the maid informed her that Rui had yet to return. A bit panicked, she thanked the maid and ran back wondering if he had taken the long path.  
  
"Where could he be?" she said aloud to herself. She slowly sauntered down the same pathway she had run like a mad woman down before kicking at the pebbles beneath her feet. Figuring that she would need some help in tracking down the enigmatic Hanazawa Rui, she decided to return to the house to get Akira's help. Trudging back towards her flat, she stopped at the sound of rustling leaves. Looking up she watched the branches of a nearby tree swaying in the wind. She laughed at herself for not thinking of it earlier. She spun around on her heel heading for their spot.  
  
"Rui?"  
  
He stayed in his place not taking notice of her below. His gaze remained transfixed on the sky.  
  
"This weirdness may work with everyone else, but I'm not going to take this from you. You avoid looking at me. You act as if I'll burn you with my touch. You're overly polite to me. What's wrong with you?" She climbed up onto the bough staying a safe distance away form him. She tugged on his arm forcing him to look at her. All she could see in those chestnut eyes was a sense of complete loneliness and loss that she had not seen since the day she had first met him. "Talk to me."  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"You don't act like a guy who has nothing to worry about. Tell me what's wrong. How come you never told me about what happened between you and Shizuka? I thought everything was going fine between you two."  
  
"She lied to me," he mumbled under his breath. "Just like you."  
  
"Me? What are you talking about?"  
  
His body began to tremble causing the limbs of the tree to shiver. Clenching his hands tightly at his side he closed his eyes not wanting to see her face anymore. "Not once did you ever think you could tell me. You were the last person in this world I thought would never lie to me." Tears began to streak down his face. "Why didn't you ever tell me about Akira?"  
  
She fell back against the tree trunk aghast by his words. "Akira?"  
  
"We've never kept secrets form one another. Every other day for the past five years you've called me. It didn't matter where you went to Okinawa or America or wherever you've been, but no matter where or when you called me just to say hi or tell me about your day. I told you everything I never told anyone else. You were the first to know about Shizuka. And you? Not once did you ever feel the need to mention that you had fallen in love with one of my best friends. How do you think I would feel about you telling me last week you were coming home because Akira asked to marry you?! Then he has to be the one to tell me that you've been seeing each other for the last year and a half."  
  
She opened her mouth, but quickly shut it trying to find the words to explain herself. "He was different," she murmured. She wistfully looked up at the mist clearing away from the full moon. "You're right to be mad at me." She reached a hand up to wipe away the stray tears falling down his face, but her hand was knocked away before she had the chance to touch him. A sinking feeling hit her stomach at his abrupt act to shy away from her touch. "I always thought that no matter what happened in my life, you would understand Rui. I mean you're the only one I've been in constant contact with all this time. I had my reasons to not tell you about this."  
  
"Either way you lied to me."  
  
She sighed seeing how he was not about to give up on the fact that she kept secrets from him. "Remember when you first started playing the violin? You always locked yourself away in the music room with your teacher refusing anyone not even me to hear you play. You loved playing the violin so much that you said you didn't want any of us to hear you play until you were ready. When you finally did play for us I couldn't believe how you tried to hide your amazing gift. I never understood what would have made you want to hide something so wonderful, but now I do. Your first love was music. When I watched you play you showed more passion and feeling than anything in this world. You once told me that music makes you feel alive taking away that empty feeling inside. Music gave breath to your life. You just wanted to be selfish and have it all for yourself."  
  
"I don't see the point of this story."  
  
Tsukushi turned to him giving her one of her heartfelt smiles. "Akira is my music. I've been with other boys and men before. All of my relationships have come and gone. They were fun, we had a few laughs, fought a bit, and then it was over. If you told me I would be about to marry Akira a few years ago I would have laughed in your face. I wasn't even looking to fall I love with him. Hell, I barely spoke to him after I left except a few e- mails here and there. It all happened by accident. I would never have expected to bump into him while walking down Fifth Avenue in the middle of Manhattan. When we decided to exclusively see each other he wanted to tell you guys, but I told him not to. This thing we had was something I just wanted to hold onto a little longer as my own. I haven't been able to admit it until recently that I've fallen helplessly in love with him. He gives me life." She hopped off the bough and landed onto the ground with a soft thud. "If you want to throw away our friendship because you can't understand why I kept this to myself then I can't do anything. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I love Akira and don't make me feel bad about it for one minute because in the end, I don't regret it." She steadied her steps as she walked away from him.  
  
"Wait!" Rui called out reaching a hand out to grab her wrist. She spun around and looked up at him with tears forming at her eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
She wiped away the tears in her eyes and buried her face into his chest. Pushing him away she pounded him with her fists. "Don't ever do that to me again!" she scolded. She watched the regret written all over her face, and as much as she wanted to stay angry she couldn't. She grabbed her hand and gently tugged him in the direction of the main house. "Now that you've told me off, how about you tell me why you really are so grumpy. I know this ahs something to do with you making a total ass of yourself with Shizuka. If I were her I would have dumped you a long time ago, but you're lucky that you're cute enough and she's nice enough to still want an idiot like you."  
  
"She probably hates me." He hurried his pace falling into step with her. "I hate myself most of the time."  
  
She leaned her head against his shoulder. "I know for a fact that a girl that calls you after being treated the way you treated her does not want to break up with you. The longer you wait the harder it'll be. Just give her a call. Beg her to take you back. Not everyone knows you as well as I do. I know how you feel about people leaving you and maybe she didn't realize you would feel that way about it. Tell her the truth of why you were such a jerk. If everything else fails, let me talk to her and tell her I think you're a jerk too," she laughed.  
  
"How come you always know a way to make me feel better?"  
  
"It's a curse," she shrugged.  
  
"It's nice to see a face with the voice."  
  
"It's not much of a face to see, but yours I could get used to."  
  
"I kind of miss the braces and the glasses," he laughed holding his fingers like two O's in front of his eyes.  
  
"God, do you have to mock my horrific teen years. Not all of us can be lucky and get through it looking like an Adonis."  
  
"I guess you're right. I was just blessed with good genes."  
  
"Okay, I think you're out of your angsty sulky funk. Get inside and go pass out. Remember to drink plenty of water before going to bed and a take an aspirin. It'll take the edge off your hangover tomorrow." She stopped in front of the door and gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Be a good boy, and get up early in the morning to give Shizuka a call."  
  
"Uh huh," he drowsily replied.  
  
She propped him up against the door trying to reach for the doorbell to get a maid to open the door. "Whoa! I think you might not make it to the water and aspirin."  
  
He flopped down on top of her wrapping his arms around her neck and nuzzling his face into her hair. "You're too good for Akira. No man is good enough for you. He doesn't deserve you."  
  
"Uh huh," she sighed smelling the reeking smell of beer on his breath. "Whatever you say."  
  
"I was too late. I should have said something sooner. I." His soft snores followed soon after.  
  
The door opened revealing a very sleepy and annoyed maid startling Tsukushi. "Oh great! He's had a little too much to drink. Just help me put him into his bedroom because he's getting a little heavy here."  
  
The maid grabbed Rui's other arm leading them into the bedroom.  
  
"Thank you," she gratefully thanked the maid. "You go back to bed and I'll just let myself out."  
  
She nodded her head and walked out the door yawning not really caring what Tsukushi did. All she could hear was her warm bed calling out to her.  
  
Tsukushi pulled the blankets up tucking him snugly in bed and swept away the bangs that had fallen over his eyes. He groaned in his sleep before settling into a heavier slumber. Her mind raced with thoughts of what Rui had said in his drunken stupor. He couldn't have been in the right frame of mind to say what he said. She wasn't even sure if he was going to say what she thought. As she bean to walk out the door something on his nightstand caught her eye. It was the picture she had given him as a going away gift. Beside it stood another frame with a picture of a woman, who she assumed to be Shizuka, hugging Rui. Looking at the picture all worries about his words faded. He was drunk and that was the end of that. She smiled to herself noticing how a small smile played on his lips with Shizuka's arms wrapped around his neck from behind. "She makes you smile," she whispered to herself seeing the proof of how happy this woman could make Rui feel.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
By the time she reached the front door of her house, all she wanted to do was pass out. A 14 hour flight followed by an afternoon of unpacking was enough to drain her body. Her eyelids drooped fighting to stay open. The lights were all off except the faint dim light coming form her bedroom. She carefully pushed open the door to find Akira passed out on her bed hugging her pillow.  
  
"He's so cute like that," she giggled.  
  
Grabbing a nightgown from an open box of clothes she walked into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later she emerged taking very soft steps to not awaken her sleeping companion. She gently pulled the ribbons form her hair undoing the braids letting her curly hair fall down her back. She slinked in underneath the sheets and attempted to pry hr pillow out of his hands managing to get it away from him. After turning off the lights she let her head fall onto the soft pillow and closed her eyes.  
  
"You're back," a sleepy voice whispered in her ear. Arms snaked around her waist drawing her closer to a warm chest.  
  
She turned around to face him. "Mhm." She leaned forward giving him a long lingering kiss. She pulled away as his hands began to roam earning a soft moan from him.  
  
"You're such a tease," he chuckled. "I want to do this the rest of my life."  
  
"What?" she innocently asked. "And by this I hope you don't have you're mind in the gutter because I'm too tired for that right now."  
  
"I want the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning to be your face."  
  
"Just when I think I've got you figure out you go and say something completely unexpected and sweet like that. I love you." She nuzzled her head into his chest breathing in the light scent of his body she had become so accustomed to. She closed her eyes ready to let sleep overcome her.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
Underneath the sheets she could feel his body shifting causing the sheets to rustle. "Now that you mention my mind being in the gutter."  
  
"Go to sleep!" she yelled laughing as she pulled the sheets underneath her chin and tightly shut her eyes.  
  
"You can't blame a guy for trying," he laughed. He tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her back towards him as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
Tsukushi fought to stay awake to memorize that moment, the feel of his body against hers, the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. Surrendering to her body's demand for sleep she drifted off with a peaceful sigh of contentment. She was home.  
  
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A/N: I think I've just pissed off a ton of readers with this chapter. Right now I don't really know who she'll end up with in the end and begging me to make it Rui will not sway me either. It could be anyone. As all my friends know I'm stubborn as hell and unbending when I get my mind set. I'll just let the story write itself. For those of you wondering how the hell Akira and Tsukushi got together explanations will come in the next chapter. I may have gone a little OOC with all the characters, but I got sick of seeing the same extreme flaws in each of these characters and tried to make them a bit more usable for this story. There is a reason behind the insanity. I just hope I haven't lost all my Rui readers who want to throw something at this poor writer. I promise a very angsty dramatic love story here or at least that's what I'm going for. Review if you like, if you don't save your words! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing of any value except the crazy ideas in my head.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The sunlight filtered into the room sending its rays across her sleeping face. Her eyes fluttered slightly open trying to bat away from the traitorous light trying to seduce her out of the sweet darkness her mind craved. It was too soon, too soon to be thrust into the real world to face another day. Tsukushi tugged at the sheets trying to shield her face while burying herself deeper under the covers. Fingers gently traced circles on her flat stomach sending tingling sensations through her body. Her body quivered showing signs of her half awakened state. Sensing her body's apparent pleasure of his fingers ministrations, he leaned his head down planting butterfly kisses along her shoulder while using his free hand finger the thin strap of her nightgown. He playfully tugged the strap letting it slide off her shoulder and revealing a teasing peek at the pale creamy skin of her breast.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" she sighed as she rolled over to face him. She pulled herself away from him and propped her head up on one arm.  
  
Akira rubbed his face into the pillow out of frustration. He suddenly felt very cold and alone on his side of the bed even though she was less than half a foot away. Lifting his head up he looked into the only face that could make his heart flutter with a simple indescribable look. "Nothing at all," he sheepishly grinned. Inside his body and mind were battling in an inner turmoil of so many choices. He fought back the urge to flip her onto her back letting his primal urges ravage her until they both collapsed into two sweating heaps lying on top of one another.  
  
"I recognize that look on your face, and not to mention your ahem friend. I hope you realize this is the end of the line, buster."  
  
He tapped his fingers against the mattress obviously becoming annoyed with his damn promise to do things right this time. However, there was another option he could settle for at the moment. "It's not like I haven't seen it all before," he cheekily whispered into her ear before crushing her lips with this own. His expert tongue nudged her mouth open letting him dive deeper into her mouth. His hands slid beneath her thin nightgown stroking her soft skin.  
  
Beneath the hurried gasps of air in between kisses faint moans and gasps of pleasure escaped her lips betraying the point she was trying to make earlier. A stray hand pushed up on her short nightgown bunched up at her waist, and lingered up her thigh towards her panties. Alarms went off in her head signaling her to put and end to this. Even though her body would be violently protesting this later with the aching hot sensation in the pit of her stomach, she had to stop. She pulled a hand away that had been grabbing at his hair and gently pushed him away from her. She struggled to regain some minute sense of composure and put on a smile showing much mirth, yet her eyes revealed a little bit of disappointment. "Why Mr. Mimasaka, are you trying to seduce me?"  
  
"Well it was working, wasn't it?"  
  
Tsukushi slid her way out form underneath him and skipped towards the bathroom. Peeking her head out for a moment she laughed, "Close, but not enough."  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Tsukushi tore open another box sifting through its contents. After much persuasion, she had ridden her apartment of Akira to focus on taking care of settling herself in. Her eyes lit up in recognition of what the boxes contents actually were. She picked up the worn out book and flipped through the pages gazing at each and every photograph that captured some of the happiest days of her life. She giggled as she looked at her younger self standing in the middle of F4. They were dressed in their Eitoku uniforms while she in her Eirin uniform. It was almost comical recalling how that was probably the only time F4 ever wore their uniforms to school due to her own insistence that being the first day of high school they should wear the uniform at least once for appearance sake. She could barely even remember how she got that stubborn Tsukasa to wear it. As she flipped through the pages, more and more of her life unfolded before her eyes.  
  
To say, that life was dull for Tsukushi would be an understatement. Although she never quite enjoyed the jet set life F4 reveled in, she had made it her goal to see the world and take any opportunity to make her dream come true. That first year at Okinawa had been pleasant with the birth of her new baby brother, Susumu. She enjoyed being the one to witness most of his firsts, his first steps, his first words, and his first smile. She would never have traded those memories for anything. She did wish she could have returned to Tokyo for her last year of high school, but then she was offered her once in a lifetime chance. Her grades were good and she had the signs for a promising future. It was an offer to study abroad for a year. She had never once left the country and this was an opportunity to study in a different environment and a new culture she wasn't accustomed to.  
  
She took it leading her to her new life in New York. It was strange leaving her family and friends, but she everyone seemed to accept her decision well. Her father explained it best as saying she was always a bird that needed to spread its wings. New York changed her life, and for the first time, she could fly.  
  
The one year she spent completing high school in another country opened her eyes to the multitude of possibilities she could have. In retrospect, her intentions in life had been to return to Tokyo and complete high school with Rui and her friends, leading to college to study a degree in business. Although everyone always applauded her on her fanciful lifestyle, her parents could not help but worry over her lackadaisical attitude towards her future. So, her plans changed a bit giving her more freedom for a year before she would return and be locked into the path her parents had deemed the "safe" path.  
  
Little did she know, that her hidden talents would be discovered that year. It all started so simply when a friend in the dormitory invited her to go to the school's darkroom to help her in putting together her portfolio. She watched as the rolls of negatives turned into beautiful photographs waiting to be mounted, preserved, and displayed. Slowly, she began to spend more and more time in the room learning how to develop and alter photographs in the way she wanted them. It was always a hobby of hers to take pictures of whatever caught her interest resulting in a camera being perpetually found in the bottomless pit called a purse she carried. Se had a natural talent for capturing moments that the normal human eye would have missed. With a little persuasion by her friends, especially Rui, and a careless whim, she presented her portfolio for critique to the visual designs school nearby and was accepted to her surprise. The surprise hit her parents a few months later, when she told them over the phone she would be staying in America to pursue college. It would be putting it likely to say that the argument that ensued was anything less than World War III. They flew in to see her the next day trying to persuade her to reconsider her acceptance into Eitoku University or even Tokyo U. She was adamant on staying. Her mother pleaded, but accepted, Her father ranted and exploded. In the end, he pulled out his final threat and made true to his word, he cut her off.  
  
College turned out to be an eye opening experience. No longer being able to live in any style she pleased due to her parents' limitless credit provided by her credit card, she caught a break with an offer by a group of her high school friends to let her move into a spare room in their modest apartment in the Village. Another friend was able to hook her up with a job working at a small developing center on Canal Street that catered to various photographic needs ranging from headshots for the many aspiring actors hoping to catch a break on Broadway to processing summer vacation photographs for one hours development. It was a pretty crappy job, but it paid for her bills with a few unwanted donations from Rui.  
  
Tsukushi almost burst out laughing at a photograph taken for her eighteenth birthday when her roommates decided to surprise her with a homemade birthday cake that wound up looking like a lopsided pancake. It was the thought that counts anyway. That was also, the same day that her parents had finally forgiven her and reached a compromise on the situation, which to this day she still believes had something to do with Rui's mother reprimanding her father for the mistreatment of his child. She was reinstated into the family on the condition she would double major in art and marketing satisfying everyone's wishes. It was a win-win situation.  
  
Finally, her eyes fell upon the one photograph that turned her world around and would begin a new chapter in her life. It was the one that brought her and Akira together.  
  
------------------------- Flashback----------------------  
  
The door opened with a tinkling of the bell hanging overhead. A petite woman bearing the burden of a large portfolio case in hand with a Starbucks latte in the other stumbled her way inside fighting to close the door behind her with her foot. The cold winter chill hit her face like a cold slap in the face even underneath the barrier she made with her scarf wound tightly around her neck.  
  
"How's my favorite employee doing today?!"  
  
"Freezing her ass off!" Tsukushi yelled as she settled her coffee onto the counter and proceeded to strip herself free underneath layers of coat, sweater, scarf, gloves, and hat. She brushed out the small flakes of snow collected in her hair with hr fingers.  
  
"You do realize that it's only forty degrees outside, right?" the man chuckled from behind the counter checking off the day's accounts in his ledger. "This is one of the warmer New York winters."  
  
"I don't care. No matter how long I've been here, I'll never get over how cold it is," she retorted. Her body shivered as she pressed herself closer to the heater hidden underneath the counter trying to warm her frozen hands. "I really wish you would take that poster down in front, Mike."  
  
"Why? Ever since you let me put that up it's been attracting a lot of business. I've even had a few offers to buy it." The older man scratched his chin with a contemplating look on his face on how much money he could have made on the sale if she would have allowed it. The scratchy sound of his fingers brushing against the stubble on his chin grated in the air.  
  
Tsukushi glanced up at the enlarged poster recreated from the smaller photograph she had created. Her last project theme had been angels, and the one hanging by the window was her favorite one. The final product included only photographs of models she recruited, but somewhere towards the end of the shoot she decided to put on one of the dresses and angel wings. Thinking it would be fun to pretend to be a model, she arranged all lighting and camera perfectly to create a perfect black and white photograph of herself standing on the ledge of a rooftop overlooking the city. Her long hair had been let down, which at the time fell to her waist, and her slightly outgrown bangs fell over her face. Her face was turned upward looking up at the sky with her hands arms extended behind her as if she were about to take off in flight. It was a rare photograph considering she never liked having her own picture taken much. She always preferred to be behind the camera rather than in front of it. With the help with one of the models to snap the shutter they captured a Tsukushi she never thought existed. Her employer Mike had allowed her to use the studio to develop and work on her portfolio in peace in return for a copy of the photograph, which he blew up into a poster. After a lot of arguing and a major guilt trip Mike had won justifying that she gave him the photo ergo he could do whatever he wanted with it.  
  
"Don't even think about it!" she screeched into his ear punching him in the shoulder. "I'll kill you if you sell it. How would you like it if some stranger had a three-foot picture of you in some barely visible dress hanging on their wall?"  
  
"I think I would rather enjoy that."  
  
"That's because you're a pervert. Not all people have the dream of strangers admiring you for your body and lusting after you," she laughed. She looked up at him noticing his rather handsomely defined features. "You can be so vain. What if I told Jen about your future aspirations for millions of women to worship you?"  
  
He turned to her in shock of the thought of his girlfriend and Tsukushi's roommate giving him an earful about giving up his playboy attitudes. "You wouldn't."  
  
"Try me," she smirked. She smiled to herself knowing that when it came Mike's girlfriend Jen, who was one of the sweetest women she had ever known, Mike was whipped. She never tolerated his playboy lifestyle and threatened to dump him the moment he tried to do anything funny. In a way, Mike reminded her a lot of Soujiro, which made gave her an instant connection to the man that resembled one of her old friends.  
  
"You're a tough one, Kushi." He patted her on the head like a little puppy and sweetly mumbled under his breath. "So is there any chance you'll ever let me sell that poster?"  
  
"Hmm." she pondered to herself mimicking his earlier actions. "How much have the offers been?"  
  
"I think the biggest one I got was fifty bucks."  
  
"Fifty bucks?" she laughed. "I thought I would be worth more than that."  
  
"You've got such a big head."  
  
"Fine. How about this? If you can find someone to pay $500 than you can let them have it. We'll split the profits."  
  
"Geez, who the hell would pay so much for you? I guess I'll never make a sale," he shrugged.  
  
"Can we stop talking about this and get to work already. What have we got scheduled today?"  
  
He dragged his pencil along the appointment book checking off the list of clients that requested for Tsukushi to take their portraits. She was slowly gaining a small following and a list of clientele for her studio portraits. Their old photographer had unexpectedly quit putting them in a tight spot with a very angry model wanting her portfolio shots. Tsukushi stepped in offering her services and a guarantee that if her pictures didn't get her work the pictures would be free. Suffice it to say, that young model was now contracted as a print model for the new Revlon ads running all over the city. She got the job she wanted and Tsukushi was building up a reputation.  
  
"We've got a last minute fill in for your 1:30 cancellation. The woman on the phone was really adamant about you taking some shots of her daughters. She offered to pay double to get you to take the job on such short notice. I think the girls are about eight and nine."  
  
"God, don't tell me it's another one of those Park Avenue mothers wanting to get some shots of her daughters dressed up as dolls in matching outfits."  
  
"Sounds like the type. Anyway, you should go back and finish setting up the equipment in back. They should be here any minute and the have the studio booked for the rest of the afternoon."  
  
"Send them in when they get here!" she yelled over her shoulder.  
  
------------------------  
  
Akira grumbled to himself as he pulled his two sisters behind him down the street. He was still annoyed as hell over the fact that his mother had decided he would drop off hid sisters at the photographer's while she went shopping. It still bothered him to no ends the way he was treated by his parents. He was already eighteen, in college, and still forced to go along on family vacation during Christmas instead of spending it skiing with F3. What he wouldn't give to be in a warm cabin snuggling up to a Swiss ski bunny by the fire right now? He shrugged settling for the hot waitress he had met in the hotel the other day and planned to meet up with after he dropped off the girls.  
  
"Onii-chan! Stop walking so fast! We can't keep up to you wearing this!" Aiko yelled as she hiked up her long frilly lace dress covered in a heavy petticoat.  
  
"I can't believe Okaa-san thought these outfits were cute!" Suzume griped as she scratched her neck where the lace had irritated her skin.  
  
"We're almost there!" he yelled silencing them in mid whine. Throwing his hands up in the air, he decided tell Aiko to cling to his back while he picked up Suzume bridal style. It was quite the sight to see the young man run through the streets with two squealing girls clinging to him fro dear life screaming at him to go faster.  
  
Ten minutes later, he arrived out of breath and with very wobbly legs. He dumped them on the ground before collapsing on the counter in front of the chuckling blonde haired man. "Photo. 1:30. Take them!"  
  
Mike nodded his head in understanding. He motioned the two girls forward and helped them take off their coats to hang up. He tried his best to keep a straight face at the awful mass of frills, lace, and puffy sleeves the girls were forced to wear. "Don't you two look pretty today," he smiled trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Shove it!" the two girls muttered under their breaths.  
  
"Well!" he clapped his hands together. Our photographer is waiting for you two girls in back. why don't you go in and I'll introduce you in a few minutes. Will you be staying as well? he asked looking at Akira.  
  
"No. I'll be back in a few hours to pick them up."  
  
"Okay, well I just need to you to sign a few papers before we get started. I'll take the girls back and I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"Whatever," Akira dismissively waved as he began punching numbers into his cell phone.  
  
Mike pulled the back curtain open and ushered the two dazed girls into the large studio in the back. He nodded his head in warning when he saw Tsukushi peek out from behind the backdrop. "Are you ready back here?!"  
  
"Yeup!" She ran forward and made a small bow. "Welcome to my world girls. I hope that we can have some fun today while I take your pictures. What are your names?"  
  
"Aiko."  
  
"Suzume."  
  
Tsukushi frowned at the two glum faces and almost wanted to cry at the dressed they were forced to wear. They weren't exactly made for kid comfort. She waved at Mike who smiled knowing she would know how to rectify the situation. "You can call me Kushi." She took a hand form each of them and led them onto the set telling them to sit on the stool she had already set up. Seeing as how their dresses were a dark navy blue and reminded her of something out of the Nutcracker she set to work getting the proper props.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Akira clapped his phone shut and glanced around wondering when that guy would come back so he could sign the release forms and leave. He impatiently paced back and forth in the room waiting for his return. He stopped near the window and curiously noticed the fact that whenever pedestrians would pass by they would slow down and take a few moments to stop and stare. His eyes locked on the poster in the front window as he craned his head more to the right to get a better view. There was something mildly familiar about the picture that he couldn't quite put his finger on.  
  
"It's a beautiful photograph, isn't it?" Mike asked amusedly by behind him.  
  
"It is," he agreed.  
  
"Well, all I need you to do is sign these and you can leave. You look like you've got better places to be than here."  
  
"Yeah, thanks." Akira absentmindedly signed the papers and buttoned up his coat. "I'll be back at seven to pick them up." He turned out the door and stepped out onto the cold street pulling up the collar of his coat. After hailing down a taxicab he stepped in before taking one last glance at the picture in the window.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
"Okay, girls. Just a few more minutes and we'll be all done!" Tsukushi yelled from behind the camera. It was the same like all the others. Turn to the left, turn to the right, point, click. Her heart went out to the two girls wearing dresses that should be burned. It was her job to make them look less hideous and that was what she was going to do. "Okay, last shot! She listened to the last click of the shutter and put her camera down to wind the film back on her manual camera. "You can take a break now and get yourself some hot chocolate from the table there. I think Mike bought some cookies too."  
  
"Thanks," the two eager girls yelled back in unison.  
  
Tossing the last roll of film with the other ten rolls she had taken in the last hour she locked the box and wrote the account number onto the label. She wiped the seat forming on her forehead from the glare of the hot studio lights. She glanced around the room and noticed that technically she was being paid for he next five hours, but she finished it in one. Grinning to herself, she ran towards the front of the store and came running back in with their coats. She tossed the coats towards the two girls. "Put these one. We're going out!"  
  
"What?!" Aiko asked in confusion. "What about the pictures?"  
  
"Where are we going?" Suzume asked while putting on her coat. "We can't do much in these."  
  
Tsukushi cocked her head to the side. "Don't worry we'll take care of that," she smiled. She helped the girls bundle up before putting on her own coat and hurried them out the door.  
  
Mike looked up from the magazine he was reading and he smiled knowingly. "See you later!" he waved. He leaned back in his chair and laughed to himself.  
  
------------------------------  
  
"Whoo! We made here back with ten minutes to spare." She planted a kiss on each of their rosy cheeks from the run back to the studio and handed them the bags with their dresses. "Go get changed. I hope I see you two again soon the next time you come by New York. I've got to go now. Bye!"  
  
"Bye, Kushi!" Aiko smiled as she bounded into her arms and gave her a big hug before running into the back to change.  
  
"Thanks for today. We had a lot of fun," Suzume smiled. She gave her a small hug and turned around waving goodbye.  
  
"I see you gave them the special treatment," Mike grinned. "You can't help yourself when it comes to kidnapping the kids."  
  
"They needed some fun," she responded in defense. "Anyways, I've got to go. My job is done here and if I want to get those photos ready by tomorrow I should get to bed early tonight."  
  
"See you tomorrow!"  
  
"Later!" she waved as she ran out the door in a hurry. She turned towards the left straight towards the nearest train station.  
  
A few second later, a man entered the shop appearing to be in a much better mood than earlier. The lipstick stain on the collar of his shirt was enough to hint he had found himself a good time during his break form babysitting. "Hello," he cheerily greeted Mike.  
  
"The girls will be out in a few minutes."  
  
"Sure." Akira stepped towards the window noticing his reflection glaring back at him. The same stupid grin was plastered on his face much like the one he had on when he left his date, Maya's apartment earlier. He wondered whether or not he should try to set up another quick tryst with her before they went back home to Japan. His eyes lazily wandered back to the photograph in the window. There was just something about it that seemed to mesmerize him. Something in him just screamed at him to have it for himself. He looked around noticing that there were a few framed pictures on one side of the wall for sale, which was set up for local artists to try to sell their work. He perused through them not quite finding anything interesting. His eyes just kept wandering to the poster in front.  
  
"See anything you like?" Mike asked. He stepped beside him and pointed to the wall. "All the photographs here were made by the students at the visual design college nearby. They're all hoping someone will come in here and buy one of their photographs. Nothing feels better than an artist's first sale. That's when you know you've made it."  
  
"They're good," Akira shrugged. "How much for the one in the window?"  
  
Mike glanced up at the poster and nodded his head. "That one's really not for sale."  
  
"Everything has a price," Akira cockily stated walking over to the framed poster. "I'll pay you $40 for it."  
  
"Sorry, but I can't"  
  
"$75."  
  
"Please stop asking. It's not for sale."  
  
"$100."  
  
"Why don't you take this nice one here."  
  
"I want this one. $120."  
  
"I really can't sell this."  
  
"Forget this. Tell me how much you want it for already.  
  
Mike's inner greed got the better of him as he watched the dollar signs dancing before his eyes. "$500?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"What?" he gasped in disbelief at such a large sale He winced knowing that he would have hell to pay later.  
  
"Can you wrap it up, please?"  
  
"Umm yeah." He took the photograph and placed it on the counter taking out some paper to wrap it up. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why would you pay $500 for this?"  
  
"I dunno," he shrugged. "I guess, I can't resist a beautiful woman. Who's the picture of anyway?"  
  
"Oh, I guess in a way it's a self portrait of the artist. She etched her initials on the bottom of the frame."  
  
Akira bent down and looked at the small etchings in the wood. "TM."  
  
"Onii-chan!" Aiko squealed as she ran into Akira nearly knocking him over.  
  
"You look like you're in a much better mood?" he laughed picking himself off the ground.  
  
"We had so much fun today!" Suzume joined in. "Kushi took us to Central Park to ice skate and then we had frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity's."  
  
"We even got to take the subway there! Okaa-san would never take us on the subway!"  
  
"I'm glad you had fun today," he smiled. "How did you manage to do all that in those dresses, though?"  
  
"Oh, Kushi took us to the Gap and got us some new clothes. Look!" Aiko held up her shopping bag proudly showing a slightly damp pair of jeans from the snow and a blue sweater.  
  
"She's a lot of fun."  
  
"All done here," Mike called out as he tied the last knot in the string binding the package.  
  
Akira pulled out his wallet and slapped a small clump of bills onto the counter. "Thanks."  
  
Aiko and Suzume waved goodbye as Akira lead them outside into the waiting car parked in front. Mike watched as the car sped away and he counted the bills in his hand.  
  
"Hey Mike!"  
  
"What?!" he jumped up from his seat in surprise. "  
  
Tsukushi laughed at having startled the man. "I forgot my cell. I was expecting a call from my dad," she laughed as she ran behind the counter and pulled out her phone from a drawer. She leaned over his shoulder staring at the bills in his hand. "Where'd you get all that money?"  
  
He slid off his seat and backed away in fear of what was to come. "Before you kill me, here's your half," he gulped.  
  
"What are you talking about?" she asked holding the money. "There's got to be about $200 here."  
  
"Actually $250."  
  
"$250?" she quizzically asked. Her head snapped towards the window and her mouth fell to the ground. "You didn't?!"  
  
"Hey, you said if someone was willing to pay $500 I could sell it."  
  
"Who did you sell it to?! Maybe I can give him back the money for the photograph."  
  
He contemplated whether or not it would be a good idea to tell her that that guy who picked up the girls bought it. Figuring it would be better to keep his identity confidential and to spare him the harassment of Tsukushi trying to get it back he remained tight lipped. He paid in cash. I don't even know his name," he lied.  
  
"I can't believe you did that?! You don't even know what he's going to do with it. If I find my face or head posted up on some nude body for Internet porn I'll kill you with my bare hands!"  
  
"He didn't look like some porn king," he answered begging for mercy. "He really wanted the picture."  
  
Ring.  
  
"Hello!" Tsukushi barked into the phone. Her face softened as she recognized the voice on the other line.  
  
Seeing this as a chance to escape Mike grabbed his coat and ran out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Lock up will, ya?" He dashed out the door running for dear life to get away from a murderous Tsukushi.  
  
Tsukushi watched his sly grin disappear out of sight. She cursed under her breath as her father asked her how her day was.  
  
"I'm fine, Papa," she cheerily replied trying to veil the anger in her voice. How are Mama and Susumu doing?"  
  
"They're good except for Susumu who seems to have caught some sort of stomach virus. I think the plane food didn't agree well with him. I was going to ask you to do me a favor."  
  
"What is it? Do you want me to come over to your hotel and watch Susumu for you guys?"  
  
"I was getting to that. You know, I have to attend a small business function on behalf of Hanazawa-san, and your mother was supposed to accompany me. She decided she would rather watch Susumu herself, so she suggested that you accompany me instead as my date. How would you like to go out to dinner with an old man tomorrow night? There will be dinner and dancing."  
  
"You know I hate those kinds of things, Papa," she whined.  
  
"Why don't you humor an old man? We haven't had a chance to go out just the two of us in a while. We can catch up and I promise if you want we can leave early if you're not having fun."  
  
The prospect of a free meal and dancing was quite enticing to her. He was right that she hadn't had any free time to spend with him lately. "Fine. What time will you be picking me up?"  
  
"Good. I'll pick you up at your apartment at about six."  
  
"I'll see you then."  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Tsukushi cursed under her breath as she ran back towards her apartment to get ready for dinner that night. She had already had a long day of submitting her final projects to each of her classes ending another semester. All she wanted to do was curl up in front of the television to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas", a tradition she and her roommates had done each year since she first came to New York.  
  
"Outta my way!" she yelled running into her room and dropping her coat on the floor of the entrance.  
  
"Whoa! Look out, Kushi is on the rampage again!" a red head yelled from the couch. She picked up the remote and flipped through the channels trying to find something good to watch. "You're dad just called and said he might be a little late.'  
  
"Got it!" Tsukushi yelled from the bedroom. A few crashes were heard from her inner domain as well as a few select words.  
  
"Are you okay in there?" Tsukushi's other roommate, Maggie asked. She carefully pushed the door open and watched in amusement as Tsukushi hopped on one foot nursing a stubbed toe.  
  
"I've got everything under control," Tsukushi replied as she unzipped her dress from its bag.  
  
Jen hopped up from her comfortable position on the couch and stood opposite of Maggie in the doorway.  
  
"I think she needs our help."  
  
"Let's get to work," Maggie sighed as she pushed Tsukushi onto the chair and grabbed a brush. She pointed towards the make up bag on the table. "You take care of the make up and I'll try to do something with this."  
  
"Got it!" Jen enthusiastically yelled as she evilly picked up an eyelash curler. "We'll have you ready in no time."  
  
------------------------------------  
  
"Akira, can you get the door?" a woman called out form inside the bathroom. "I'm not quite dressed yet."  
  
"Okay," Akira replied getting up from the couch.  
  
He was still a bit grumpy about the fact that his mother had taken his rather expensive purchase the day before and proclaimed it hers. She was always acting like a big kid thinking anything wrapped up was a gift for her. He was never the one to deny his mother; she was a very persuasive woman. She liked the portrait so much she decided to hang it in his father's newest office building she was decorating while in New York.  
  
He trudged over to the door while smoothing out the wrinkles in his tuxedo. As he swung open the door, his two sisters running up from behind him pushed him back.  
  
"Kushi!"  
  
"Sorry girls," Mike answered holding a package in his hands. "Kushi had to meet up with her father today, so I had to come to deliver this. He looked up at Akira and sheepishly grinned. "Sorry if it's a little late. Kushi wanted to make sure everything was perfect before it was delivered."  
  
"That's fine. We didn't really need them that desperately."  
  
"Is that the photographer?" Akira's mother asked as she emerged into the living room.  
  
"Oh no, madam. I'm the owner of the studio. Normally our photographer would have delivered these, but she couldn't make it."  
  
"That's fine," the woman replied. She took the package from his hands and set upon unwrapping it to display the two framed portraits and photo album she had ordered. The moment she caught sight of the portraits her breath caught in her throat. "They're perfect."  
  
"She's really good," Akira gasped as he stared at the individual portraits of Aiko and Suzume. "She actually made them look good in those hideous dresses.'  
  
"Don't say that about those dresses your grandmother sent your sisters. Although they were quite dreadful," she laughed. "Your studio's work is as good as I've heard Mr. Richardson. I'll have to remember to recommend your studio to my friends."  
  
"Thank you," Mike blushed. "Oh yes, before I forget. These are for the girls. It's a small gift from Kushi." He pulled out two tiny photo books and handed each of the girls one with their names inscribed in silver ink on the outside in Japanese. "Sorry, I can't read Japanese. I'm not sure which ones which."  
  
Aiko and Suzume giggled as they switched the books in their hands. When they opened them up their eyes lit up.  
  
"Wow!"  
  
"I didn't know she took pictures when we went out yesterday."  
  
"Yeah, Kushi does that a lot. She's always taking candid shots when no one's looking. I think she wrote each of you a note inside."  
  
Akira picked up one of the albums from Aiko's hand and flipped through it laughing at a few of the shots of his sisters ice skating and chasing pigeons in the park. He stopped at the short note on the last page studying the carefully penned characters. "She knows Japanese?"  
  
"Yeah, well she's originally from there. I think that's why she took such an easy liking to the girls She rarely gets to speak to anyone except her parents in Japanese. It makes her feel less homesick, I guess."  
  
"When were these taken?" their mother asked.  
  
"Oh, don't be angry but whenever Kushi has a job she generally finishes early and takes the kids out to have some fun for the rest of the day after being cooped up in the studio for so long. I hope you don't mind. She always makes a little memory book for them afterwards."  
  
"These are even better than the portraits," the woman sighed. I think I would like to have a few more copies of these. Would that be possible?"  
  
"Sure, we get that a lot from the parents after they see the memory books. I'll have a few more sent over as soon as possible. I'll give you a call when they are ready." Mike buttoned up his coat and stood up to walk towards the door. "I'll show myself out."  
  
"I think I would like to meet this Kushi myself," Akira's mother laughed. "She sounds like a miracle worker."  
  
"So would I," Akira agreed.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
"Hey, Rui," Tsukushi chirped through her cell phone while riding in the car beside her father.  
  
"Yo," a monotone voice answered.  
  
"So how is the ski trip?"  
  
"Soujiro has run off with one of the ski instructors. Tsukasa's been skiing all day long. And I? Well, I caught up with some sleep."  
  
"You're one of the few people I know who would fly halfway around the world to sleep in a different location," she laughed. "Did you guys get my Christmas presents I sent?"  
  
"Yeah. By the way, thanks for the new sheet music and just so you know I plan to put that new pillow to good use. Soujiro wanted to tell you thanks for the book, but he wouldn't show it to the rest of us. He said he wanted to study the pictures before he showed anyone. Tsukasa ate the pineapple you sent. Why do you send him a pineapple every year?"  
  
"Cause he's a pineapple head. It's been a joke between the two of us since I left. Every year I send him a pineapple and every year he sends me daisies, calling them weeds like me. So what about Akira?"  
  
"Didn't I tell you? He went on vacation with his family this year. I don't really know where he went exactly. I'll give him your gift when he gets back next month. Did you like your gift?"  
  
"Like always your presents never cease to surprise me. I think I've become obsessed with folding paper cranes now. I want to try to a make a thousand. Did Shizuka like the Tiffany's bracelet I sent her?"  
  
"Yeah, she loved it. It's kind of scary how you know her taste without ever meeting her. I don't think it's fair for my best friend's gift to up show my gift for my girlfriend."  
  
"How is it my fault she is just a woman of good taste? Well, all you ever talk about is her," she giggled. "I feel like I've known her forever."  
  
"What about Junpei? Shouldn't you be spending Christmas with your boyfriend, too?" She sighed heavily into the phone. "I broke up with him last week. I knew I should never have dated a model. He's a little too preoccupied with his looks for my taste."  
  
"Well, Shizuka is a model, too. I mean she cares about her looks, but it couldn't have been that bad."  
  
"Listen, if a guy takes longer than me to get ready then there definitely is something wrong. We were never that serious anyway."  
  
"You probably broke the poor guy's heart like all the others. He's just another to add to the list."  
  
"It was mutual! You make me sound like some heartless heartbreaker. Not all of us can find the perfect mate like you. I want to meet the woman who is insane enough to put up with you."  
  
"Maybe if you got your butt back here you would."  
  
"I'll come home when I'm good and ready. Right now I'm having too much fun here. I promise I'll go back one day. Anyway, you could always come here."  
  
"I like my bed too much to move away from it."  
  
"You could bring it with you and become a starving artist like me. You could play your violin on the street for money and I can sell my photographs beside you. Think of all the quarters to be made, man."  
  
"As enticing as that sounds I'll have to pass."  
  
"You're no fun. I've got to go. We're almost at the party."  
  
"Have fun."  
  
"I always do. Same time next week."  
  
"Okay. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"I see you still call Rui every week like always?" her father laughed as he helped her out of the car.  
  
"Like clockwork for the last three years," she smiled as she tucked her cell phone into her purse. "I've never missed a call."  
  
"Shall we, madam?" her father smiled offering his arm.  
  
"Of course, kind sir," she replied hooking her arm through her father's.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Akira looped through the guests trying to escape yet another mind numbing conversation with one of his father's business associates. He hated these parties and all the shoptalk that went on around him. The torture was only heightened when his mother would sidle up next to him with another girl in tow trying to play matchmaker. Grabbing another glass of champagne he disappeared into the next room where all the children were holed up in. In away, he missed the days when these parties only meant stuffing his face and hanging out with F3 making fun of all the adults. He looked on at his sisters as they remained in a tight circle with a few other girls giggling about something or another.  
  
"Akira!"  
  
"Damn!" he muttered to himself as he felt an arm on his shoulder.  
  
"I've been looking for you everywhere. I want you to meet Hino Aya. Her father has just joined in a merger with your father's company."  
  
"Hello," he politely bowed at the rather plain girl in front of him.  
  
"Why don't you two get to know each other a little better?"  
  
He glared as his mother walked away giving him a thumbs up sign. He hoped that the glare he was sending to the back of her head would burn a hole right through her. Not wanting to be rude to the poor girl left stranded with him he offered his hand. "Would you like to dance?"  
  
Across the room Tsukushi was bored out of her mind as she sat at her table sipping on champagne. Her father had abandoned her a half hour ago to discuss the latest project he was working on with some man whose name she had long ago forgotten. She twirled a lock of her curled hair in her fingers staring into nothingness. Deciding to make some sort of effort to mingle she wandered around the room trying to make out any familiar face. As she stood up and smoothes out the wrinkles in her dress, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around she gasped, "Tsubaki?"  
  
"I never thought I would see you here?" she laughed. "I always thought you stayed away form the evil corporate dinners."  
  
Tsukushi moved forward to give her friend a hug. "I haven't seen you for awhile. I thought you'd be too busy as a newlywed and all. Where's the lucky man anyway?"  
  
"He's over there discussing some sort of business with my mother. I find it utterly disturbing that he likes her so much."  
  
"Well she did pick him out. I'll never get over how weird you rich people can be choosing your own children's spouses."  
  
"I was relatively lucky. Hiro is the average boring doting husband and all. He gives me the space I need and it all works out, I guess."  
  
"I can hear the love in your voice."  
  
"Love doesn't equate in a Doumyouji marriage," she sighed. "Did your father drag you here? I heard Hanazawa- san couldn't make it, so he sent a representative."  
  
"As always, my father agreed to it. Hey, it was a free trip to come and visit me, too."  
  
"I think I better go. My mother is giving me that evil eye of hers."  
  
"How does she do it?"  
  
"I have no idea, but I better go before something bad happens. Give me a call. We should meet for lunch sometime."  
  
"Sure."  
  
She watched as Tsubaki gracefully walked to her husband's side. The rather timid looking man offered a weak smile and wrapped his arm around her waist. Tsubaki plastered a big smile on her face pretending nothing was wrong in the world. All Tsukushi was frown at the sight of what looked like an indication in the increase of the current divorce rate.  
  
"May I have this dance?" a masculine voice asked from behind her.  
  
"Of course." Tsukushi turned around and followed her father onto the dance floor twirling her around. A small section of the dance floor cleared at the sight of the beautiful young woman in the off white silk gown. The bottom of her gown fanned out as she was pulled back into her father's arms out of the spin. "You were always a show off," she smirked.  
  
"How about we show them how dancing is really done?" he smirked.  
  
The crowd slowly parted making more room for the father daughter couple dancing in the middle of the room. Tsukushi almost burst out laughing when she heard the snide comment from a woman on the side about her father flaunting a mistress. Along with the apparent gawking and staring from other men around the room old enough to be her father, the situation was becoming funnier by the minute.  
  
"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. What will people Mama say when rumors spread that you brought a younger woman with you to this party?"  
  
"Maybe we wouldn't be on the bad side of gossip if you showed your face around society a little more often. I warn you now, stay away from these lecherous men who dare gawk at my daughter. I never thought them to be pedophiles."  
  
"I am eighteen, Papa. It is legal."  
  
"You'll always be my little girl in my eyes." He spun her out and tossed her back into a deep dip. "Oh!"  
  
Tsukushi pulled herself back up balancing herself out. She bent over and helped support her father who looked like he was about to fall over. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Just a little dizzy," he whispered as he tried to stand up properly. He staggered forward and grasped onto his daughter's shoulder for support.  
  
"Why don't you sit down," she worriedly suggested as she led him to the nearest chair.  
  
Akira glanced over Aya's shoulder trying to catch a glimpse of the young woman causing quite stir amongst the old bags whispering. All he could catch was a brief glimpse of the back of her head over the gathered crowd. From what he could see, she had quite a nice body. Too bad, she only went for old men. He continued dancing forgetting the mysterious woman and began to count the hours until he could leave.  
  
"Why don't you drink some water? You're face is very pale."  
  
"Thank you," her father replied as he took a few small sips from the glass. His head was swirling once again forcing him to close his eyes in an attempt to stabilize his sight. He felt Tsukushi's hand on his forehead.  
  
"You're burning up!"  
  
"I think I might have caught something from Susumu," he winced as another pain shot through his head.  
  
"Come on, I'll help you to the car. We're going back to the hotel and getting you into bed as quickly as possible."  
  
She grabbed her father's coat and put it under her arm while she placed her father's arm around her shoulder helping him walk towards the elevator.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Tsukushi slunk into the backseat of the cab as she was being driven back to the party. Apparently Susumu's stomach virus had spread like wildfire infecting everyone in her family except her. Thus, she would have to spend the next few days without her family while they were quarantined in their hotel room. It had been a long couple of hours before she felt better about leaving them all lone and made sure they were tucked into bed for the night.  
  
She sighed I relief as she slipped her sore feet out of her heels and massaged the soles of her feet. She glanced out the window watching the cars pass by as she was being driven through Midtown Manhattan. All she wanted to do was get home and crawl into bed for a good twenty hours of sleep, but she was now being forced to go back to the party after realizing she had forgotten her purse and coat in the rush to get her father home.  
  
It was freezing outside as she ran into the building startling the security guards with her frazzled appearance. Luckily the man pitied her, and allowed her to go upstairs to the main ballroom to retrieve her lost items. Inside she found her purse was still on the table with everything inside intact, and she just made it in time before the clerk at the coat check closed for the night. She happily skipped down the hall, but something caught her eye around the bend. She peeked around her making sure no one saw her and to her surprise, her portrait was hanging in one of the large offices.  
  
In most circumstances, she would have considered it stealing to take back the portrait without asking, but after careful deliberation she decided she would be taking back only what was rightfully hers. To make sure it was really hers, she checked for the side of the frame and felt for her signature carving in the frame. It was definitely hers the moment she felt the TM mark. She climbed onto the chair and carefully pulled it off the wall Deciding to leave the frame behind, she popped the frame open and rolled up the enlarged photograph and tucked it beneath her coat. Feeling a little bit guilty, she placed whatever cash she had in her wallet onto the table to pay them back for her thievery. With a smile on her face, she walked out the door and towards the elevator thinking no one would be the wiser.  
  
Akira pulled off his tie as he wandered through the halls of his father's office building. The party had finally come to a close and he had finally managed to shake off that piranha, Aya. It was as if she had attached herself to him the rest of the night not wanting to let him go. He slipped into his father's office hoping she wouldn't come looking for him in there. To his surprise, he heard someone enter the room, so he hid behind the door of the bathroom. He peered out to catch a glimpse of who entered the room. He quickly recognized the familiar dress and the back of her head as the woman that everyone was gossiping about earlier. Silently he watched as she picked up the photograph his mother had decided to hang in his father's office and threw few bills on the table. A few minutes later, she dashed out of the room like the thief she was.  
  
He jumped out from his hiding place and gawked at the money left on the table It was rather odd to see a thief pay for something they stole, but it didn't matter. All he wanted back was what had been taken. He stuffed the money into his pocket and ran towards the elevator heading fro the lobby, where she most likely was headed.  
  
Tsukushi rushed out the front door sighing relief for not being caught. She let out the breath she was holding and began walking down the street hoping to hail down a cab.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?! I think you have something that is mine." An arm grabbed her wrist from behind and spun her around.  
  
"Let go of me!" She screamed as she kicked him in the shin.  
  
He bent over in pain, but still held his firm grip on her wrist preventing her from escaping. "Ow! You stupid bi..!"  
  
"Kushi!" two voiced high-pitched voices called out from behind the fighting couple.  
  
Tsukushi stopped her struggle and turned towards the two little girls running over to her. "Aiko? Suzume?"  
  
"What?! You two know her?" Akira asked in shock.  
  
"Of course, we do," Aiko matter of factly stated. She hugged Tsukushi's waist. "Thank you for the memory books."  
  
"It was nothing," Tsukushi replied smiling down at the little girl.  
  
"Who's this?" their mother asked out of curiosity. It wasn't every day she caught her son trying to maul a girl on the street. "And why were you attacking her, Akira?"  
  
"This is the photographer who took our pictures yesterday, Okaa-san," Suzume interjected.  
  
Akira released her wrist in confusion of what was going on. Why was the photographer in his father's office stealing the portrait he bought?  
  
"Hello, I'm Mimasaka Naoko," she bowed. "I've been wanting to meet the woman who created those wonderful portraits of my daughters."  
  
Tsukushi was stunned. "Mimasaka? That would make you two?" She asked pointing towards Aiko and Suzume.  
  
"Mimasaka Aiko and Mimasaka Suzume," they answered together.  
  
Tsukushi spun around and looked at the man that had attacked her earlier putting two and two together. She stared at him finally realizing why he had seemed so familiar. It had been three years since she last saw him, and he had grown up a lot since then. "Akira!" she laughed pointing at him in recognition.  
  
"How did you know my name was Akira?" he asked rather disturbed by her.  
  
She held back the huge smile on her face ready for his mouth to drop. She turned back to Mrs. Mimasaka and extended a hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Makino Tsukushi."  
  
"Tsukushi!" he screamed in disbelief.  
  
"I think these two need to get to bed, and you two seem to know each other already. I'll see you back at the hotel later," his mother laughed as she patted him on the shoulder and pushed his lower jaw closed.  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
"You were the Kushi my sisters kept talking about?" Akira laughed as he leaned back into the soft cushions of the booth they sat in. He swirled his spoon around in his coffee as he looked at the woman in front of him.  
  
"And you were the jerk that bought my photograph," she laughed. She took a long sip of her coffee smiled. "It's been a long time Akira. I barely recognized you. Then again I would never have thought you would be trying to attack me when you saw me. She stabbed at her piece of pie in on her plate and held the warm piece of pastry in her mouth savoring the flavor.  
  
"I wasn't trying to attack you. I was just trying to get the picture back. God, you've changed a lot these last few years. Rui never showed us pictures of how hot you got."  
  
"I think I should be flattered by that statement. Yeah, well getting contacts, growing out of puberty, and getting my braces taken off can change a person. Rui never mentioned you were coming to New York."  
  
"Well, he left a few days before my parents decided where we would be going. I just arrived two days ago. I didn't even know where you were in New York. Tsukasa told me to come and try to look you up, but I forgot to ask Rui where you lived."  
  
"I guess, we haven't kept up in contact with each other much since I left. I guess it was just fate that we would meet under these rather odd circumstances." She unraveled the rolled up poster and laid it flat on the table. "I still can't believe you paid five hundred bucks for this."  
  
"Well it is pretty amazing," he chuckled. "It still baffles me that all along I knew the girl in the picture. You should wear the wings more often. Then again I'm a sucker for hot girls in tight dresses."  
  
"You're still the same horny teenager as always, I see."  
  
"Well, at least one of us has changed. Why were you at my father's company party with some old geezer?"  
  
"That old geezer was my dad! I filled in for my mother at the last minute since she came down with a stomach virus. I don't blame the women in that room for gossiping. All the time I've lived in New York, I've never gone to any of my father's business functions. Half the time people don't realize that my father had a daughter living in the city. I didn't even know the party was being held by your father."  
  
"Yeah, well it was a last minute thing he wanted to have to celebrate the opening of his New York office."  
  
She glanced out the window seeing how in a few hours there would be daylight. "I've completely lost track of time. I should be getting back home." She stood up from her seat and folded the photograph back up and placed it beneath her arm. She proceeded towards the door out into the darkened streets with Akira trailing behind her. A taxicab stopped in front of her. "It was good seeing you," she whispered as she hugged him.  
  
His entire body tingled upon the sensation of her warm lithe body pressed against his. "I'll see you again, right? he asked.  
  
"You've got my number," she smiled. "Give me a call sometime and we can hang out before you leave. She opened the door to the cab, but stopped halfway in. She turned to Akira who had begun to walk away. "Hey Akira!" she yelled running after him to stop him.  
  
He stopped in his tracks and turned to see her breathlessly running up to catch him. "What is it?"  
  
"You forgot this." She handed him the photograph and kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas."  
  
He watched her jump into the waiting cab and speed off. He smiled looking down at the rolled up poster in his hand. For a moment, he pondered the red coloring on her cheeks wondering whether or not she was blushing or just reacting to the cold. He shook his head erasing those thoughts from his mind.  
  
"I must be crazy? That's Tsukushi," he laughed to himself as he headed back towards the hotel.  
  
-----------------------End Flashback-------------------  
  
A/N: Here we go a very very long chapter that took me a pretty large chunk of time to complete. Like everything else I write I'm very long winded. I've gotten quite bored writing some of this, but I didn't want to rush some faulty explanation to get myself out of this Akira x Tsukushi pairing. Love takes trust, awkwardness, and tons and tons of angst! This kind of explains a bit of what's going on. The next few chapters will be basically more flashback explaining how things came to be up to the point where they are now. Next time, will start out AxT, but will be a more Rui-centric chap overall. Till then, ja!  
  
PS: For those waiting for a Last Resort update it'll be a little while. I've gotten a rough outline of where I'm heading, but only a quarter written. Maybe in two weeks it'll be out. Watch out for Last Resort Chapter 9: Mating Rituals! 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
She really was a mystery to him. It was an undeniable fact that Toudou Shizuka could be nothing more and nothing less than the well bred lady of society that her parents had raised her to be. It was really rather odd how he managed to have his heart stolen by a woman such as herself, but then again Rui was always an odd one when it came to people. His better lack of social skills was just another one of his many faults that always seemed to hinder him. Unlike F4 and Tsukushi, most people viewed him as being a rude misanthropic weirdo. His reasoning behind the cold façade was that some people just don't like to be the center of attention at all times. To his dismay, his demeanor only brought on a greater fascination towards his enigmatic persona. That was what drew her to him.  
  
Rui lolled back and forth on the bed clutching the phone in his hand. All he needed to do was push the speed dial button. The push of one button could be the source of his salvation saving him from the regret and loneliness he felt at shunning the woman he had proclaimed his love for. On the other hand, it could also be his demise bringing forth the end to a relationship that he had damned from the start. All he had to do was push that one button. He stared at the object in his hands half willing his numb finger to move. It would be about 9 in the evening over there, plenty of time to catch her once she got off work. Finally finding the courage, he pushed the button and listened to the ring tone.  
  
"Hello," a light airy voice filtered through from the other side.  
  
His heart almost stopped at the sound of her voice. It was always so light and melodic with some sort of impossible soothing effect that could calm all his nerves. His mouth opened, but there were no words to be found. The only sound that echoed through the receiver was the slow steady breaths his body was forcing him to take. Placing the phone down onto the table he picked up his violin and propped his beloved instrument beneath his chin. He raised his bow and plucked at the strings sending a low moaning note. It was the same song he always played for her. Everyone else thought the song to be sad and depressing, yet she always said she loved it when he played this song for her the most. She loved the way it reminded her of him, sad yet longing for hope. She offered to become his hope in exchange for her heart to be kept in safekeeping. Little did she know she already held his fragile heart in her hands. The song slowly came to an end, and he placed his violin back in its case snapping the clasps of the case closed. He picked up the phone and whispered in a low voice, "I'm sorry."  
  
A short silence ensued bringing nothing but self doubt to Rui. It was too late. Like everything else in his life, he had let one of the best things to come along slip away with his own blind jealousy.  
  
"I was foolish to act like some spoiled child the moment you told me you were leaving. I knew it would only be for a few short months, but in all honesty I did it because I was scared. I hate when people leave me. It just reaffirms my belief that no matter what good things do not last, and in the end, people will desert me. I understand if you hate me for pushing you away and for all the things I said. The most I can offer you is my regret."  
  
"You'll always be my Rui," she sighed over the other line as if scolding a child for being foolish. "I was never angry at you, perhaps a little hurt, but I would never hate you. I'm just happy that you've finally told me why you were so angry. I've missed you every day."  
  
"I've missed you, too."  
  
Like that, the heavy burden on his heart as lifted. She was one of the few people in the world who accepted him for what he was. Although all was forgiven, there lingered a brief doubt that all his worries had been assuaged. Her forgiving nature came all to easily, which made her seem almost unnatural to him. His pessimistic view of human nature always deterred him from feeling completely comforted by her words of forgiveness given all too easily. What kind of person forgives and forgets so easily? He pushed them aside for the moment accepting the fact that she had forgiven him and taken him back with open arms. That was all that mattered.  
  
"So, where have you been hiding yourself these past few weeks? Sleeping as usual?" she giggled.  
  
"No, contrary to belief I do have things to do. Tsukushi just came in yesterday."  
  
"Ah, the infamous Makino Tsukushi has made her return to Japan. I'm looking forward to meeting this mysterious woman who had F4 wrapped around her little finger."  
  
"Well, she's going to be busy the next few weeks with settling in to her family's old house, preparing for school, and taking care of Akira."  
  
"It still amazes me that Akira will be the first to be wed out of you all."  
  
"Tsukasa and Soujiro are still placing bets on whether or not this thing is really going to happen."  
  
"I think it will based on the way Akira's whole demeanor seems to change whenever he talks about her. He's different in a way I can't quite put my finger on."  
  
"They've still got a year before anything permanent happens."  
  
"You sound as if you don't approve of them marrying. Are we jealous perhaps?"  
  
"Jealous?! I am not jealous. Why would I be?"  
  
"Maybe because your friend is stealing your best friend away. You become so spoiled when it comes to others trying to take away something you love." "Why would I be jealous when I have you? You're the only woman I would ever need." His voice began to rise showing signs of growing annoyance.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was just teasing. Forget all about them. Tell me what had been going on with you."  
  
His voice lowered back to normal and his breaths steadied after he regained his cool composure. "My father has been pressuring me to take a greater interest in the future of his company. He's already been preparing the office next to his so I can move in after graduation. He's been waiting for this the last 21 years." He sighed heavily as his body hit the soft mattress of the bed. He closed his eyes trying to drown out the voice of his father demanding he take more initiative in his future. "How is the internship going?'  
  
"It's been wonderful. I've been helping out with some pro bono cases. I've actually been given a few chances to follow along with some of the cases to trial. Mainly I've been stuck doing research and paperwork. It's quite boring really, but some of the cases we've been presented have been quite challenging. My father's been pestering me about coming home earlier. He still doesn't like the idea that I've pursued law."  
  
"He'll get over it. You'll take over your company and I'll take over mine and from there we'll rule the world," he lightly joked.  
  
"I suppose so." She paused for a moment as if lost in her own thoughts forgetting about Rui. "Don't you hate the idea of living in your father's shadow? Haven't you ever thought about just being selfish and for once doing what you want to do?" Her voice faltered for a brief moment cracking that calm composure she was well known for.  
  
"Not really. Why? Is something wrong?  
  
"No, nothing. I think I've just been a little too stressed out for my own good. I'm sorry, but I've got to be getting ready to go to bed soon. I've got a few more files to work on and then an early day in the morning. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?  
  
"Fine."  
  
The line went dead and he placed his phone back onto the table keeping his eyes set firmly on the ceiling. Everything was back to normal, and all was good in the world again. She had forgiven him as he had pretty much expected. There was very little doubt that Shizuka would hold a grudge on her part. At times, he wondered what he ever did to have someone like her. She almost seemed too perfect for him. That was the source of his insecurity. Maybe one day she would realize it too and leave him. It was a gnawing factor that lingered in his mind, but he always pushed it away. He had her now and that was all that mattered.  
  
She just wasn't one of those ordinary women. That was what he loved most about her. she wasn't one of the sheep in the flock of wealthy bred socialites. She had something undeniably different in her. It was what attracted him the most. He was drawn to her.  
  
-------------------Flashback----------------  
  
It was utterly ridiculous the attitude he had taken to. It was a secret, hidden from the outside world and even some of those closest to him. It was those who knew the signs to look for that were the first to figure out what was going on. Unexplainable, that was what his parents whispered behind his back. At first, they had partially blamed the mood swings on his entrance into his teen years. He was fifteen, a teenager. Teenagers were always unpredictable when it came to their emotions. Everyone told them it was normal. However, Rui was never normal to begin with.  
  
At first, it all started with fewer and fewer smiles from him. Laughter and smiles were always infrequent from him, but then one day they almost seemed to stop all together. He withdrew himself from the world preferring to spend most of his time locked within the inner confines of his bedroom. Hours he would spend in there listlessly staring at nothing. Sometimes his mother would find him trapped in his room for days with the door locked. He probably would have starved himself to death if she had not left him his meals by the door. She never even knew when he had taken the tray, emptied it of its contents, and pushed it back out the door. It was baffling, and at the same time painful to see him like that. At odd hours of the day or night, there would only be the haunting echoes of his violin wafting out of his room. It was always the same haunting melody, which sounded more like a requiem for the notes being strangled to death into one strikingly beautiful composition.  
  
The only thing his parents found odd about his behavior was the effort and measures he took to hide it from them all, his friends. Sometimes they wondered if he was trying to punish them, by pushing them away the ones who loved him the most. Was it all some senseless act of rebellion on his part? They had sent in some of their SPs to find out the tiniest bit of information as to the reason behind it all. On the outside, he acted no differently than before, perhaps a little slightly withdrawn by distancing himself from F3 to spend more time in the music room with his violin, but it wasn't enough to draw the boys' suspicions of anything wrong. He went to class, loitered around campus with his friends, and returned home. When confronting Tsukushi for any signs of odd behavior she merely smiled and said "nothing".  
  
Frustration. It was their breaking point. Seeing as how he refused to tell them what was wrong they resorted to the last place they ever wanted to go. The Hanazawas were firm believer that they knew what was best for their son. Any outside help would only be seen as a weakness or failure on their part as parents. Options were few at that point. So, they went to the last place there was- a psychiatrist.  
  
A hundred hours and negative ten thousand dollars later, they got their results. Little did they know any psychoanalysis done upon Rui would not be enough to penetrate the walls he had built. It was an innate defense mechanism mastered after fifteen years of life. They got what they paid for: one dazed and frustrated psychiatrist, one resentful son, no indications for his change, and one last resort prescription of anti- depressants. Paranoia consumed Rui even more forcing him to refuse any food from home in fear that they would defy his wishes and slip the mind numbing drugs into his food. Mysteriously the bottle guaranteeing a better emotional balance on his part would always find its way into his pockets, his night stand, and in his schoolbag. Relief. He didn't want it.  
  
------------------------------  
  
"Rui!" three voices called out from behind him.  
  
The seemingly oblivious boy turned around to see his three best friends walking towards him. Soujiro and Akira glanced towards their sides flashing their patented dazzling smiles that would turn any girl into a puddle of blissful oblivion. The slightest notice from either one of them could send a girl spiraling down that dangerous road to their beds. Inside, he felt a bit of remorse and pity for the poor fools.  
  
Then there was their fearless leader, Tsukasa. For a high school freshman, he had already risen to the ranks that would have made Hitler proud. He was grinning from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas holding something in his hand.  
  
"Yo, Rui. You've got to check these out." Tsukasa threw the small pack into Rui's hand.  
  
"I can't believe that for once, Tsukasa actually had a good idea," Soujiro laughed.  
  
Akira pulled one of the thin red sheets from his pocket and admired his artwork. "I really must admit I do have a knack for art."  
  
Rui looked down at the slips of paper in his hand finding no meaning to them. They were just paper, although the words written on them seemed to send out an aura of foreboding. "What are these?"  
  
"These, my friend, are red tags," Tsukasa proudly beamed. "This place is way too boring. I thought I might liven things up a bit. Watch this." He picked up one of the thin sheets and grabbed a kid walking past them. "Hey you!"  
  
The poor boy froze dropping the stack of papers in his hand. "Dou.Doumyouji- san," he pathetically stuttered.  
  
In a taunting manner, Tsukasa dangled the paper in front of his face. The glaring word struck fear into his now lifeless eyes, "F4". "Do you know what this means?"  
  
"It's.It.I..please, don't give me one!"  
  
His patience for the peon was thinning. "Just answer the damn question and I'll let you go." He grabbed the boy by the collar towering over him in his threatening manner.  
  
"Yes, sir. It's a symbol of F4. Whoever receives a red card will be cast out. No one shall speak or associate with anyone who has received a red card. Those who will, shall be severely punished for their actions. The recipients of the cards are to be punished for defying F4 and extreme measures are to be taken that said person will be forced out of school by their own will or the hands of their peers."  
  
"Good," Tsukasa gleamed. "I see word has spread around already." He loosened his grip on the boy and watched in sheer mirth as he stumbled over his own feet to scurry away like a frightened animal.  
  
"I wonder how long this little game will last?" Soujiro pondered. "It should give us a few kicks until we find something better to do."  
  
"Well, with the way Tsukasa's been throwing these things left and right I think school will never be the same. F4 has a certain image that means to be retained." Akira put his hand over his chest in a mocking vow to the reputation of his brotherhood. "We live, breathe, and die F4!"  
  
A massive mob of students chasing after a rather unsightly boy ran past them screaming, "Let's get him!" From all around them, the war cries of a mob mentality were taking over. Objects were flying, maniacal laughter echoing through the crisp fall air, and the anguished cries of mercy form the victims remained left unheard to the unrelenting mobs.  
  
"The others seem to be enjoying our little game," Soujiro approvingly smiled.  
  
Rui's eyes darted in random directions observing the carnage taking place. They were all jackals. The old saying was definitely holding true, "Only the strong survive." He stuffed the papers into his pocket and shrugged thinking that he would probably just throw them out later when he got home. He was never one to take part in senseless acts of violence, but when called upon he swore to himself that he would lay his life and morals on the line for F4. "How long did it take you to think this game up?"  
  
Tsukasa's ego could only get bigger with Rui's interest in his little experiment. "I got it from this book that we had to read for English class, "The Scarlet Letter". What better way to get back at everyone who gets in our way by ruining their reputation?"  
  
"Dude, you actually read a book?" Akira asked in astonishment. "You, Doumyouji Tsukasa, read a book, a book required for a class at that. How did that happen?"  
  
"Tsubaki forced me to do my homework last night. Who knew that something meant to be educational could give me such a good idea?" he gloated.  
  
"You do know that the main point of the book was how tragic it was that the own had to carry the scarlet letter alone. It was supposed to make you feel bad for her."  
  
"How do you know, Akira? Did you read the book, too? What is this world coming to? First Tsukasa and now you."  
  
"I dunno why I read it. I was bored and I thought the chick on the cover looked kind of hot," Akira pleaded in defense.  
  
"Hot? She was one of those Puritan women covered head to toe."  
  
"Underneath those drab clothes I think she probably had a pretty nice body. Her face wasn't too bad either. If I were that priest I would have banged her too."  
  
Rui turned his attentions away from the oncoming squabble about whether or not Puritan woman were hot or not. A few months ago he might have found the conversation remotely amusing, but now it was just mindless banter going in one ear and out the other.  
  
"I'm going. I'll meet up with you guys later."  
  
Silence. It was the solitary comfort he needed the most at the moment. All he knew was that he needed to be away, away from people and their petty problems. The three hardly even noticed when he sulkily walked away. They never seemed to notice much about him anymore these days. Soujiro and Akira were too preoccupied with de-virgining the campus' female population. Tsukasa, well he was just too involved with establishing his place as a tyrant, a steady path that he was progressing towards quite easily. That left him, the quiet one.  
  
In a way, he wondered why things couldn't have stayed the way they always were. Before high school life was all a matter of reading manga, hanging out with the boys, and just doing whatever stupid thing they damn well pleased. High school had put on a whole new perspective. It was a passage into adulthood where social status was something to be claimed instantaneously upon arrival marking your territory. It was all about knowing the right people, having the right things, and being the person that everyone could only dream of being. That was F4. Forget the fact that most of the people in their classes had been classmates practically their entire lives and that they had witnessed them crying over a broken toy in kindergarten or seen someone puke on a rollercoaster during a trip to the amusement park. No one was the same. Change. Change is never a good thing.  
  
Slowly his thoughts lingered to another sore point and a partial reason to his severe melancholy at the moment. Tsukushi, his one constant in the world he could always rely on. Even she had the nerve to change. They were at that age where boys were beginning to really notice girls, but never could he ever fathom the fact that Tsukushi would become one of those girls sought out by said boys.  
  
By Akira and Soujiro's standards, she wasn't exactly one of those girls who appeared to have guys knocking down on her door. The gods must not have been smiling down on her when she found her usually perky smiled marred by metal braces and her big doe like eyes concealed behind thick glasses. All in all, she was the contradiction to ever girl that was fit for their standards. Tsukasa once crudely put it, "A girl who is pretty is good enough to be a girlfriend. The ones who aren't are only good enough to be friends." It was said in a passing joke, but emotionally it hit Tsukushi where it hurt the most. To Tsukasa's own consternation, she ignored him for weeks. He deserved it.  
  
Well, she had definitely proven them all wrong. Lo and behold, someone actually did want her, Amon. Dislike would be only the mildest of emotions Rui felt for the other boy. From day one, when F4 had shown up to ask Tsukushi if she wanted to go check out the latest horror movie and found Amon smugly sitting on her couch, they didn't like him. Perhaps, it was some sort of brotherly and possessive nature of theirs to hate the guy. Then again, he had proven himself to be more than a jerk validating their dislike for him. It was disturbing the way he seemed to ingratiate himself in her home. Everyday after school he would offer to take her home, only to somehow wheedle his way into an invitation to stay and perhaps hang out on the estate. Tsukushi was treated like one of the owner's on the property. All of the facilities were free for her use, although she rarely ever took liberty to use them without Rui. Slowly, he took up more and more of her time. He was her first boyfriend, and foolishly she had done everything possible to keep it that way.  
  
F3 kept their opinions to themselves. They believed it best to let Tsukushi make her own mistakes, because a girl in love would only be blind to the faults of her partner. Rui couldn't keep his mouth shut. In return for his pure honesty, he received a reward of being shunned by her like the plague. She blamed his insecurities on his selfishness wanting her to spend more time with him. Amon and she had been dating for three months now. Rui and her were teetering on a relationship of basic civility. For the first time in the entire length of their friendship, they had found something that brought an awkward silence in conversation.  
  
Lingering through the old hallowed walkways of Eitoku, he could only feel more alone in the world. Nothing seemed to put his mind at ease anymore. Surrounded by friends and family, he found himself growing restless and easily agitated. In his own solitary confinement, his thoughts lingered to only less than pleasant thoughts. He decided to head for the emergency stairwell beside the main building knowing no one would be there to bother him.  
  
He hated that feeling. It was almost like he was drowning and no matter how hard he fought and kicked his way up something was pulling him back down. Getting out of bed was something requiring effort. That nagging feeling of resentment and hurt deep within him was only a growing abyss in his soul forcing him to want to lose himself in it. Uncontrollable tears fell down his cheeks. He wiped them away cursing under his breath and being glad no one would be around to see him, a man crying.  
  
"Are you alright?" a feminine asked from behind him.  
  
In a childish reaction to being caught, he wiped his face with his sleeve. "What do you want?" His eyes widened a bit at the vision in front of him. He vaguely recalled seeing her walk around school. Trying his best, he put on the cold demeanor he was famed for. He half expected her to start laughing at him for crying in public at his age.  
  
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a neatly folded handkerchief. Her face was still flushed a rosy pink probably from her rush to get to her gym class. She probably decided to take a short cut to the track field seeing as how she was clad only in a pair of tiny gym shorts and a t-shirt. "Why are you crying?"  
  
"It's none of your damn business," he snapped in a cold cutting tone that would have made Tsukasa proud. He watched her in mild curiosity as the soft smile on her face turned into a frown. Inside he reveled in the fact that he was able to wipe that stupid smile off her face.  
  
Instead of walking away in a annoyed huff like most girls she stayed to his dismay. He had to give her credit for staying for more punishment. She bent over and began to do stretching exercises ignoring him. After a good five minutes of warm ups she turned around and bent over. Her legs went up into the air as her arms pushed her body straight supporting herself. The ponytail her hair was tied into dipped onto the ground.  
  
He thought she was completely mad. "What are you doing?"  
  
"If you're sad you should do a handstand like this. It will stop the tears from falling."  
  
"That's idiotic," he snorted.  
  
"You'll never know if unless you try. I bet you couldn't even do this."  
  
He tossed the handkerchief onto the ground and walked over to stand beside her. In one graceful motion he bent over and his legs were directed up towards the sky. He turned to look towards her. "Yes, I can.'  
  
She lowered herself onto her feet and straightened out her shirt. "See, you stopped crying. Now the tears can't fall," she proudly stated. "Just stay that way until you don't feel like crying anymore." Like that she waved a quick goodbye and skipped away.  
  
Rui lowered himself onto the ground and stood shocked. His mind was still processing what happened. Reaching for his face he smiled to himself. The tears did stop. Yes, he did feel like an idiot doing a handstand for no reason, but the tears stopped, didn't they?  
  
A small eruption of laughter spurted from his lips. In that moment of liberation, the door swung open revealing F3 standing there wondering what the hell he found so funny.  
  
"What are you laughing about?" Akira asked flabbergasted at Rui's odd behavior. He rarely showed any signs of being human while at school. Generally he preferred to remain stone-like.  
  
"I think I know," Soujiro teased dangling a pink handkerchief in his face. "Who own this?"  
  
Tsukasa leaned over the railing watching a figure run across the campus in a gym uniform away form the bottom of the stairs. "Isn't that Toudou Shizuka?" he asked.  
  
Akira and Soujiro both rushed over to take a peek.  
  
"I think it is."  
  
"Dude, she's just as hot as in her pictures. Too bad she's off limits."  
  
"Why?" Rui asked from behind in mild curiosity.  
  
"It would be a waste of time trying to get her, man. I heard from my mother that she's going to be the next big "it" girl. She's taking the rest of the year off to pursue modeling. I heard today is her last day. Do you know her or something?"  
  
"Sort of."  
  
----------------End Flashback-----------------  
  
A knock at the door awakened him from his memories. Sitting up, he called out to the person outside his door. "Come in."  
  
A curious head peeked inside. Tsukushi pushed the door open and closed it behind her. Ignoring Rui's entire presence she walked around inspecting his domicile making sure to take note of every tiny detail. When she finally reached the bed to see him lazily propped up against the headboard her face scrunched up in disgust. "This place really needs a woman's touch."  
  
"I like it the way it is."  
  
She motioned to the area around her trying to figure out what he could like about it. "It looks like a place for a mental case. All you're missing is the padded rubber walls and the straight jacket. What happened to all those posters I sent you, the pictures, or the random tacky knickknacks with the places of visit painted onto them. I vividly recall sending you a snow globe from Hawaii with a rather provocative hula girl shaking her thing? I thought that would have made it into your room at least."  
  
"Oh that. Yeah, Soujiro liked it so I gave it to him."  
  
"Remind me not to take my precious time in buying you souvenirs when I go on vacation," she sulked folding her arms over her chest. She walked over to the other side of his bed and plopped down onto the fluffy warm down comforter. Her body rolled from side to side trying to find a comfortable spot.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing? That's my side of the bed. It took me years to make that perfect groove."  
  
"I can tell. There's a small sink in the mattress that feels a lot like your build," she laughed. "I don't see your name written on this side. You chose that side so deal with it."  
  
"Move over," he pouted nudging at her.  
  
"No."  
  
"Move it."  
  
"Nope. I proclaim this Tsukushi-land," she smirked.  
  
"Fine. The I guess I'll have to do this!" He pounced to the other side of the bed grabbing the open flap of blanket to her side. He began wrapping her up in sheets and blanket and rolled his entire weight on top of her trying to suffocate her. "I'll just have to conquer you!"  
  
"Rui!" a muffled scream screeched out from beneath him.  
  
"Say you'll concede! Rui the conqueror has come to take back what is rightfully his. Say it! Say Rui is the master of the universe!"  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Say it!"  
  
At that very moment, the door to his bedroom swung open revealing his panicked mother. "What is all that noise?!"  
  
"Wha!"  
  
"Oomph!" Tsukushi felt the soft mattress beneath her slide away as her body fell onto the ground with a thud.  
  
"Hanazawa Rui! What is going on in here?! I could hear screams coming from this room outside in the gardens."  
  
"Sorry," he apologized. "I guess we got a little carried away."  
  
"Hi," Tsukushi weakly mumbled pulling herself up by the side of the bed. Her hair was in all directions covering her face. A faint tint of pink crossed her cheeks.  
  
"I swear, will you two ever grow up?" the exasperated woman muttered to herself as she showed herself out. "I called the school and they will be expecting you today, Tsukushi. I hope you are responsible enough to go down there by yourself to finalize the proper arrangements.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good. Now I don't want to hear anymore strange noises coming from this room," she sternly ordered. She turned around leaving the door open and one last look that said she meant business.  
  
They waited a few seconds to make sure she was gone.  
  
"You know that was all your fault."  
  
"Was not! Who was the one screaming, 'Say Rui is the master of the universe!' so loudly."  
  
"Well you started it."  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did too."  
  
"Okay, I give up. You win," she sighed throwing her arms up in defeat. "I don't have enough time to play with you, little boy. I've got adult things to do other than getting into another 'did too, did not' battle with you." She picked herself off the ground and smoothed out the wrinkles in her t- shirt and jeans. Smoothing down her hair into a more tame look she strutted out the door. "Some of us are above that, and some of us is not me!" She grabbed a pillow and chucked it at his head knocking him backwards in the bed. Laughing like mad woman she ran out the door and down the hallway.  
  
"I am so going to kill you!" he screamed with pillow in hand running after her.  
  
Mrs. Hanazawa took another slow sip of her tea from her seat in the gardens. A small smile touched her lips as she watched a young woman darting across the lawn followed by a rather irate man with a pillow waving in his hand. Yes, things would never be quite the same anymore with Tsukushi around again. The again, no one said it would be a bad thing. A rather unladylike snort of laughter burst out of her startling the already shocked maid whose eyes were fixed on the young master screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Haruka, I think you should go get a fresh pair of clothes for the young master."  
  
"Yes, madam," the shell shocked maid managed to sputter out.  
  
She turned back towards the scene in front of her releasing the fit of laughter bursting out. Moments ago Tsukushi had run toward the pool barely dodging a pillow dent flying at her head. Along the way she had managed to slip. Rui reached out to grab her, but ended up being taken down with her. Now they thrashed about in the pool still clad in their clothing trying to kill the other. Wiping a tear away from her eye, she only burst out laughing more when she saw her angry husband running out from the house. In an effort to get them out, he had slipped himself and fallen into the pool earning a bout of laughter from Rui and Tsukushi. She could hear the sound of something drop on the floor. She turned around to see Haruka's gaping mouth stunned at her employer swimming around the pool in the middle of the day donned only in his Armani suit. Her poor husband was chasing the two around the pool threatening to do great bodily harm to the two.  
  
"I think my husband will require some dry clothing, too."  
  
-------------------------  
  
"It's all your fault, you know," Rui huffed. His hands were dug deep in his pockets. "My father is going to kill us when we get back."  
  
"Don't worry," Tsukushi reassured him. "I'll talk him into letting you back into the house later. Deep down he's a big ole teddy bear. You were lucky I had some of Akira's clothes back at my place for you to change into. If I didn't you would still be soaking wet outside your front door begging to be let inside,' she giggled.  
  
"That was so not funny."  
  
"It wasn't. It was the look on your face when he threatened to sic the guard dogs on you if you didn't leave the property that was priceless," she laughed. She sat down onto the ground and leaned her back against the cold stone wall.  
  
"So how did your registration go?"  
  
"As well as can be expected, I guess. I might need to take a few courses over since the credits didn't transfer over. Overall, I should still be able to graduate on time."  
  
"That's good. They didn't give you any trouble."  
  
"Of course not. Who would dare give any trouble to the girl with Hanazawa Rui by her side?"  
  
"Hey, I was just there to make sure they would pull a few strings for you."  
  
Tilting her head up she stared up into the deep blue sky. "I still can't believe you come here. This place hasn't changed much the past few years. Do you still come here often?"  
  
Rui glanced around the same familiar surroundings he had come to love so long ago. The emergency stairwell of the high school still was his favorite place to escape. Even though he had graduated years ago, he still liked to go up there to enjoy the peaceful silence. "Sometimes in between classes I sneak out here."  
  
"More like when you cut class."  
  
"That sounds about right."  
  
"Rui."  
  
"Hmm,' he contently sighed.  
  
"Do you remember the first time you took me here?"  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
--------------------Flashback------------------  
  
Tsukushi wandered across the unfamiliar campus searching out any familiar face of F4 she could find. She needed Rui. It was her sole purpose of going there. She needed him more than ever. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes red and puffy from the tears that seemed to never end.  
  
A group of girls pushed past her knocking her bookbag from her hands. All of her items scattered onto the ground, yet not one single one of them offered to help.  
  
"What are you doing here? You don't belong here," a girl snorted stepping onto a paper her hand reached for. "It's disgusting that they would let such people wander onto campus." Her eyes narrowed into slits scanning over the uniform she recognized as belonging to the local public school. An eruption of laughter came form her friends.  
  
Tsukushi stood up ready to lash out. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to people like that?!"  
  
Their laughter ceased and like a pack of hyenas they stepped forward circling her like fresh meat. "I am the future wife of Doumyouji Tsukasa. Remember my face when you become one of my future maids, you poor trash."  
  
"You must be that bitch, Asai, Tsukasa's always complaining. I think he left out the part about you being one ugly bitch," she spat out. Her fury was rising by the second. "Tell me where I can find F4 since you have some sort of sick obsession with them. I need to speak to them."  
  
The smug smile on Asai's face fell. She raised a hand that landed against her cheek. "How do you know who I am? And how dare you speak so casually of Doumyouji-san?! I should go tell him right now about how you are impersonating as a friend of F4."  
  
"You really are stupid." Tsukushi pulled out a small red piece of paper from her pocket and shoved it in her face. "Tsukasa gave this to me yesterday. Is this enough proof that I know them? Now tell me where I can find them!"  
  
The girls all jumped back as if she had leprosy.  
  
"He gave you one of those?!" one of the girls stuttered.  
  
"Yeah, he told me it was some sort of card they gave to their friends."  
  
A cruel smile crossed Asai's lips. "She's right. We should have been more respectful." Her harsh tone had turned bitterly sweet. "Let's show her a real F4 welcome." She turned around and screamed at the top of her lungs stopping all the students walking by. "She's been red tagged!"  
  
Eyes all shot towards Tsukushi holding the red card in her hand. It was like a shark sensing blood in water, they attacked. Objects were thrown in all directions.  
  
Tsukushi wasn't a complete idiot. Innately she made a run for her life while curing Tsukasa for whatever he had just done to her. Running through the maze of a campus she dodged the mob running after her.  
  
Rui dropped his violin to his side feeling rather perturbed by the intrusion of a ruckus breaking out nearby. It was a warm spring day, so he decided to ditch F3 and spend the rest of the day practicing his violin in the gardens. It would have been a perfect afternoon, except for the fact that students were running past screaming something about a red tag. He shook his head thinking to himself that a little talk was in order to talk Tsukasa into disrupting the peace with those red tags. Seeing as how he would not get any decent playing time in he lowered his precious instrument into its case and slammed the lid shut. Enough was enough and h would put an end to it. Stalking off he walked in the direction of the shouting.  
  
When he turned the bend what he saw was definitely not what he expected. Two boys had pinned down some poor girl and were in the process of trying to rip her blouse. At first, he wanted to look away clearly disgusted by the level of harassment the student body would lower itself too. However, upon closer inspection he felt his heart jump into his throat.  
  
"Tsukushi!" he yelled rushing forward. "Let her go!" he commanded pulling them off and throwing them against the wall. A deadly glint took over his eyes. "Who told you to do this?!"  
  
"It's F4's orders," they stuttered. "She was holding a red tag. We were only doing what were told to do to people with red tags."  
  
Sending a punch into each of their guts, he shoved them away. "Get out of here."  
  
The two attempted rapists ran for their lives thanking god that they had not been the witnesses to Hanzawa Rui's true wrath.  
  
"Tsukushi," he cried out kneeling down beside her.  
  
She held her eyes closed afraid to look thinking it was her mind's imagination making her think it was his voice. It was her fear that the calm, soothing voice calling out her name would not belong to the man she thought it did. "Please, leave me alone," she begged.  
  
He reached down and stroked her head. "It's okay now. It's me. Open your eyes."  
  
Slowly cracking one eyes open she released the breath she was holding and jumped into his arms crying. A new onslaught of tears fell. "Rui!"  
  
Like a small doll, he gently picked her up off the ground allowing her to bury her face into his chest. He could feel the warm tears soaking through his tears broken by her small stifled sobs. Not knowing where else to take her, he carried her to the staircase. For what seemed like forever he held her in his arms as she brokenly explained to him her reason for unexpectedly showing up. He could feel his cold exterior falling apart as she explained how she had discovered the truth about Amon suing her. She had confronted him about it and he did not deny it. To try to make up for his mistake, he pleaded that in fact he had grown to love her. It was too late, though. That break in her trust was the end. Brokenhearted she had run to Eitoku seeking his comfort only to meet up with Asai and her gang. The rest was rather obvious after she tried to prove her identity as a friend of F4 with a red tag.  
  
He wanted to hurt them all. He wanted to hunt down the people who dared inflict any pain upon his friend, the only girl he truly cared about in this world. I just wasn't fair how someone with so much heart would have her own heart and spirit trampled by others for no reason. Yes, he wanted to make them feel as bad as she did right now. She wouldn't let him, though. Her hand tugging at his sleeve had stopped him form leaving her behind to take care of them. Even after all that had happened, she had never thought once of hurting them back.  
  
"Rui, why won't the pain go away?"  
  
"I don't know. What can I do to make you feel better?"  
  
"I want you to be the way you once were. I want you to be my Rui again, not the one who shuts himself away and hides his behind a wall of misery."  
  
"I don't think I can."  
  
"I just want you to smile and laugh for me the way you used to. I want to go back when everything made sense."  
  
It was like that they lay there for hours. Her tears had long ago dried. His anger was gone. She was now asleep in his arms finally feeling the toll of her day bear down on her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small bottle of pills. Popping one of the tiny tablets into his mouth he could feel all the anguish and confusion clouding his mind waste away. He would take them for her. If it would give him the strength to climb out of his own misery to help her come out of hers he would do it. That was the day when all his pain went away. It was also the same day that Tsukushi woke up to see the smile of the Rui of her childhood.  
  
----------------End Flashback--------------  
  
"Do you still take them?" Tsukushi asked.  
  
"Not as much anymore. I've slowly eased down my dependence on them."  
  
"Good. Those things will really screw with your head."  
  
She was the only one other than Shizuka who knew he took the pills. In a way, his parents had been more than happy to continue his therapy sessions and take the Paxil he was prescribed. It allowed him to function once again. At first, Tsukushi abhorred the idea of him taking pills to regulate his moods, but in the end she saw what it allowed him to have, a sense of comfort and well-being.  
  
"I think my head is screwed up enough with or without them," he joked.  
  
"Good point," she sighed resting her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder how a woman like Shizuka can deal with you? I can barely do it at times."  
  
"I don't know either. She just brings out the best in me."  
  
"I still can't believe you were such a chicken to go after her. I had to practically scream at you for days before you finally made your move."  
  
"Yeah, I know. You had to give me a good tongue lashing of my life before I finally did something to shut you up."  
  
---------------------Flashback-----------------  
  
"Hello," a muffled voice answered the phone.  
  
"Have you done anything yet?!" Tsukushi screamed on the line across hundreds of miles of ocean away.  
  
"Not this again." He groaned. "I'm starting to wish I never said anything to you in the first place."  
  
"I can't believe how much of an idiot you can be. I would expect something like this from Tsukasa, but not you. I want you to get up, get dressed, and get your ass out the front door to go ask her out already. This is the first girl I've ever heard you show any interest in and refuse to stand by and let your future wife slip out of your grasps."  
  
He shot up from his bed. "Who said anything about me wanting to marry her? All I said was that I sort of liked her."  
  
"I'm never going to be an aunt telling embarrassing stories to your children about what a dumbass you were as a kid," she whined. "Just do it already. Go! Shoo!"  
  
"Fine, I'll do it already! If it'll make you shut up I'll ask her out tomorrow."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well, what?"  
  
"Why aren't you going already?"  
  
"Tsukushi, do you know it's only three in the morning over here?"  
  
A long silent pause followed. "Oh, my bad. I'll let you get back to sleep then," she chuckled.  
  
"I'll do that."  
  
"Remember you promised me that you would do it."  
  
"Uh huh," he drowsily replied slipping into sleep.  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
"Tsukushi?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Next time you call check the time difference."  
  
"Why? I like the fact that when you're half asleep you'll promise me to do anything. Damn it! Maybe I should have made you tell me about what happened that time you guys snuck into a strip bar. I heard something about you and a transsexual."  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Hang up."  
  
He stuffed the phone into his spare pillow and tossed the vile object across the room. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was the muffled sound of his cell phone going off.  
  
The next morning he woke up rather tired form the late night call, but determined to do the task at hand. Ad he walked across the campus searching out his target he recalled the first time he lady eyes on the beauty two years after her hast departure from his life.  
  
It was another one of those boring business functions his parents had dragged him to. Soujiro and Akira were too enraptured by their flavors of the week called dates to the gathering. Tsukasa was being dragged around like a lost puppy by Tsubaki who forced him to be her escort. He was the only one left. That was until his mother introduced him to the daughter to an old friend who was transferring to Eitoku for university. They would both be freshman. His breath caught in his throat when he recognized her. A small hint of delight was written on her face when she recognized him. He knew she had captured his heart.  
  
For the next few months they carried on a friendship bordering on dating. He was never quite sure what to make of their outings alone. Sometimes they would just spend hours sitting alone enjoying one another's companionable silence. Other times they would just talk for hours about nothing and everything. He found himself opening up to her like no other, like Tsukushi. She told him her secrets as he did his. They just clicked in that way only a man and woman could. The only problem was his fear of admitting his feelings.  
  
As he saw her figure becoming clearer and clearer he could feel his palms becoming sweaty. His heart was beating a mile a minute. He could hardly believe the effect this woman had on him. The others would be laughing at him right now to see the ever calm and collected Rui losing it over a girl. It was all now or never. His pride would be thrown out the window.  
  
"Shizuka," he smiled greeting her. He plopped down onto the grass beside her.  
  
"Hello Rui." She turned around while placing the book she had been reading down on her lap.  
  
"What are you reading?"  
  
"Just my law textbook for class. I was just fascinated by this case were discussing today in class, so I decided to read more about it. I really think I've found something I love. I've been thinking about applying to law school after this."  
  
"Really, I wish I felt the same way about something. I just assumed I would go into the family business."  
  
Her smile faltered. "There must be something more you want, something you love."  
  
"I guess that would be my violin. It was always a silly dream of mine to become a concert violinist." The moment he words slipped out of his mouth he wished he hadn't said it. "It's a really stupid thing. It's not like I would be helping society like you."  
  
She placed a hand over his. "If it's your dream, then it's not stupid. You should go for what your heart desires the most."  
  
Taking this as a cue or some random act of god he did as he was told. He leaned forward and kissed her. At first it was one sided, but slowly her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him back. It would be one of the defining moments of his life.  
  
Pulling away for air, she looked into his eyes and smiled. "I've been waiting a long time for you to do that."  
  
"Me too," he laughed. "My heart desires you the most. I only hope you will take my heart."  
  
"You always had mine," she laughed shocking him by kissing him once more.  
  
------------------------End Flashback---------------------  
  
"Hey Rui! Have you seen Tsukushi?" a voice yelled from the bottom of the stairs. "I went by her place, but she wasn't there. I thought she said she was going to be unpacking all day?"  
  
"Looks like someone's looking for you." Rui nudged Tsukushi's arm.  
  
"He can wait. I am getting my Rui time, and no one is going to take that away," she yawned burying her head into his shoulder.  
  
Rui only smiled. He turned to look down the stairs and yelled back down. "I think she might still be at the Registrar's office."  
  
"Thanks, man," he yelled back as he ran off.  
  
"That guy has got it bad. Does he ever leave you alone for a minute?"  
  
"He just worries a lot about me. It's called being a concerned boyfriend."  
  
"And what does that make you?"  
  
"A girlfriend that needs some alone time once in awhile. He just tries so hard to prove it to me."  
  
"Prove what?"  
  
"That he can be a real boyfriend." She turned her head away from his not wanting him to see the worry in her face. "It's part of the reason he wanted me to come back here. We still have a year to decide whether or not the wedding will go through. That's why I came back here. Before he proposed our relationship wasn't exactly the best at times. I do love him to death, but sometimes I have my reservations. He's done it once before and I almost pushed him out of my life."  
  
"What did he do?"  
  
"He cheated on me with some other girl two months after we got engaged. He said it was an accident. He had a little too much to drink and no one was there to stop him. All of you guys were there with him, but had no clue of our relationship, so you didn't know to stop him. He woke up the next morning naked next to some girl whose name he didn't even remember. He called me right after he got out of there wanting to get it out in the open before the guilt ate him up alive. I cried for days, ignored his calls, and pretty much Fed-Exed the ring right back to him." A small tear fell down her cheek. "When he got the ring back, he took the first flight out to New York. He slept in the hall of my apartment building for three days before I let him in to talk to me. That was when I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe he could be faithful to me. I know he loves me, but that is not enough sometimes to make me believe he really believes it. He was faithful through our entire relationship except that one time. It was a moment of weakness for him. I told him maybe subconsciously he wasn't ready to give up his old ways. We made an ultimatum. I agreed to take the ring back with his promise to give me a year. I would come home for my last year of college and he would prove himself to me. He would be the model boyfriend and fiancée. In return, I would have a year to decide my future with or without him. I could give him a year."  
  
"So you agreed to prolong the engagement to test him? What if he screws up?"  
  
"Then it's over. Game over. There are only so many times I can handle having my heart broken. There is nothing worse in this world than betraying the one you love with someone else. I forgave him once for that, but I don't think I could go through that again. No one else knows about our agreement. We both agreed not to tell our parents or friends who are looking forward to a wedding next year."  
  
"Are you sure this is a wise decision? How can you marry someone who you feel you can't trust?"  
  
"I trust him with my heart enough to let him break it. I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him. This is all a matter of whether or not he really feels the same way about me. In reality, this is his year to think things through clearly. I love him. Love is blind, irrational, and just plain frustrating. In the end, it is what makes us human. We are allowed to mess up once in awhile. It's just Akira would move heaven and earth to make up for his mistakes. I know right now I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him because there is no one else I've ever felt this way for."  
  
She stood up and stretched her arms up into the air.  
  
"I won't idly stand by and watch him hurt you. He is my friend just as much as you are, but this just seems wrong. This whole engagement sounds crazy. You're both not even sure what you want."  
  
She glanced back offering a small smile. "I know. All I know is Akira is what my heart desires and that is enough for now."  
  
Rui sadly watched her walk away without any further discussion. Perhaps, his suspicions to their relationship weren't completely unfounded. Only time would tell if Akira would live up to her expectations. Inside he hoped to god that Akira would make it. At the same time, he slightly wished he wouldn't. Then everything would be back to normal. She would be his Tsukushi and no one else's.  
  
'What was he thinking,' he scolded himself. They were his two best friends. Of course he wanted them to be happy together. In a depressing way, he and Tsukushi were both the same. They would do anything to keep what their hearts desire the most, even if it was to their own detriment. Their insecurities would be the end of them. 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing less and nothing more than everyone else.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Akira obliviously and blissfully jogged across campus, hoping to catch Tsukushi before she left. The second he had gotten back to his apartment that morning, there were already a few messages from his mother and sisters, harassing him about when Tsukushi would come over to visit. His usual happy go lucky smile was plastered on his face, even though there was no one around at the moment to see it. It didn't matter. He was happy, unabashedly happy at that. Nothing could bring him down from this high.  
  
"Akira!"  
  
He stopped in mid jog to turn to se her smiling at him. The warm summer breeze blew through her hair playfully, shielding her face from view. Delicate fingers reached up to swipe the annoyance away.  
  
"I was looking all over for you," he sputtered out. "You didn't need to drag Rui all the way over here to help you. I could have come or it would have been nice if you left me a message telling me where you were going."  
  
She casually walked up to him, stifling her own laughter. Out of habit, she interlaced her fingers with his and pulled him to fall into her pace. "I'll remember to do that next time, Mom."  
  
"I resent that comment. I was just worried."  
  
"That sounds like something I would have expected from Tsukasa. Remember when we were kids, and I would always be the one to get lost. He would completely lose it when you guys finally found me."  
  
"Yeah," he chuckled to himself. "You two would scream, calling each other names until you both walked away sulking. Man, you always had a way with making him lose it."  
  
"It's a talent, I guess," she wistfully replied. "Oh god, what was I thinking? People could see us out here." Her hand dropped dead away from his.  
  
"It doesn't matter. No one hangs around school now except a few professors and administrators. In a few weeks, we won't be able to do this in around campus. There will be too many people watching us."  
  
"You mean watching you. I'm just a nobody," she laughed. "No one cares about the daughter of a lowly VP."  
  
"I do," he quietly smiled.  
  
"You're just oozing with charm all the time, aren't you?"  
  
"It's called love." He grabbed her from around the waist and threw her over his shoulder. "I'm not letting you get away from me this time."  
  
"Put me down!" she screamed pounding on his back.  
  
He momentarily paused to think over his options. "On one hand, I could put you down and end up letting you have your way with me. Option two, I could drag you back to my place and have my way with you. Choices, choices."  
  
She stopped trying to wriggle herself free at the recitation of his current options. "What do you mean about me having my way with you?" she inquired. "Why in the world would I ever do that?!" she huffed, appalled by his insinuations.  
  
"Please, I know you can't keep your hands off me."  
  
A scheming idea was growing in her head. She grabbed his posterior throwing him off his guard. She could feel his entire body go rigid as she slid down his chest and her two feet hit solid ground. Placing her palms against his chest, she pushed him backwards causing him stumble backwards onto the lawn. Seating herself on top of his stomach, she grabbed his wrists pinning him beneath her. Her hair dripped down against his cheeks, shading him from the harsh rays of the sun like a veil. Her lips remained a few centimeters from his as her warm breath tickled his lips. "Maybe you are right, but I don't think so." She hopped off him without a second thought to the repercussions of her actions. "Get your mind out of the gutter." She readjusted her clothes and stepped away a few feet, afraid of any tricks he might try.  
  
"You're really cruel," he groaned. "Why do you have to make things so hard?'  
  
"Sometimes, things being hard are more fun. Are you coming or not?" she smirked.  
  
"I think I already have," he sighed as he flopped back down onto the grass in defeat. He patted the patch of grass beside him. "Sit with me for awhile. I want to talk."  
  
Tsukushi peeled the heels off her feet and walked barefooted back towards him as if she were walking a tightrope. The strappy sandals balanced on each of her hands. "I guess, so. I don't need to be anywhere for a few hours. I just need to be back at the house to wait for a delivery at 4." Her body fell down beside his as he inched closer to her to rest his head in her lap. Lazily, she stroked the hair out of his face.  
  
"This is nice," he sighed. "It almost feels like the Great Lawn in Central Park."  
  
"I guess this is the second best thing. All we're missing is the overpriced hotdog vendor, the crazy homeless guy screaming about the apocalypse, and hundreds of other people fighting for a spot. I'm homesick already."  
  
"This is your home now," he corrected her.  
  
"You're right," she grinned. Her hand reached for the chain dangling around her neck, pulling it up to grasp the platinum band clasped to it. "I heard it's supposed to be about ninety eight degrees over there tomorrow. Maggie and Jen must have rented a car to drive out to Robert Moses Beach. We always had a rule that no matter what, once the temperature broke over ninety-seven, we would all call in sick at work and spend the day at the beach. God, I can hear it already. Jen will start singing from one thousand bottles of beer, Maggie will probably get pulled over for going 90mph down the Grand Central, and usually I would be screaming at the top of my lungs at both of them, trying to get them to slow down and shut up. Those are some of the best times we ever had."  
  
"Maybe you should call them later. They probably miss you, too."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. On the other hand, there are certain things I could get used to here."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Being able to see my family more often, having my own darkroom, real authentic sushi, and of course my favorite person in the world, Rui."  
  
"I'm hurt. I thought you came back for me all this time."  
  
"Hmm... You're somewhere in the list. I think you fall somewhere between hot springs and festivals."  
  
Akira lurched forward and rolled her over onto her back pinning her beneath him. In one swift motion, his head descended upon hers, grazing his lips over hers in a light drugging kiss that soon turned more demanding and rough. After her initial shock, she raised her arms, wrapping them around his and pulling him deeper. His tongue darted out, pushing her lips open to explore the depths of her mouth. A soft moan slipped out of her lips as he moved away from her mouth to trail slow torturous kisses down the nape of her neck. His fingers cupped her head, tugging at her hair. As quickly as he had taken over all her senses, he pulled back.  
  
Tsukushi's chest heaved up and down with each labored breath. At the loss of warmth over her body, she slightly whimpered. Her head was still spinning as she opened her eyes to see the smug look of satisfaction on his face. She reached a finger up to her swollen lips.  
  
"Now that must have pulled me up a few notches."  
  
"Uh huh," she replied still trying to climb her way out of the abysmal daze he put her in.  
  
--------------Flashback------------  
  
The phone incessantly rang on the table beside her bed, refusing to go away. All the while, a huddled figure remained curled up underneath her warm comforter, refusing to bend to the will of the contraption. Tsukushi rolled over and hugged her pillow closer to her head, sighing softly. Sleep was always a good thing.  
  
"Tsukushi! You answer that damn phone before we come in there and kill you!" a masculine voice yelled from the next room. Moments later, the thud of something hitting the wall reverberated in the room along with the rattle of the pictures hanging from it to sway back and forth.  
  
"Fine, fine, fine!" she sighed in resignation. She pushed the comforter away from her body and pounded a fist against the wall in retaliation. "Maybe you two could keep it down in there, too. God are you loud!"  
  
"Don't come a knocking if you see the wall a rocking!" Mike boomed back at her, laughing.  
  
"Don't be so crude!" Maggie screeched. The sounds of the footsteps against the bare wooden floor followed. She slowly opened the door to see Tsukushi upright in bed, arms folded, and intentionally letting the phone continue to ring. "Umm... Sorry about that. We decided to celebrate New Year's a bit early. I knew we should have gone back to his place since our walls are paper thin."  
  
"Forget about it. I think I'm scarred enough for life as it is," Tsukushi shrugged. "I would have gone to sleep in Jen's room, but it looks like she decided to party a little early, too." Her look of annoyance was replaced by a dirty smirk.  
  
"Really?! Who was it?" Maggie whispered.  
  
"You know that really hot sales guy from the Pearl Paint on 23rd St? Six feet of muscles, bad boy devil-may-care attitude, and a smile that just screams I'll do naughty things to you that would make a prostitute blush?"  
  
"No! Not the one with the really nice ass! I always go to him just so I can watch him climb up that ladder to get the canvases at the top. She hooked up with him?"  
  
"Exactly that one."  
  
"Remind me later to jump her for details. Wow! If I wasn't with Mike..."  
  
"You two are too lucky for your own good."  
  
"Me? Lucky?"  
  
"Yeah, you've got Akira going after you. What isn't there to like about the guy? He's rich, deliciously handsome, and he could charm the panties off any woman. I bet he has, too."  
  
"There's nothing going on between us. Two mature adults that are of the opposite sex can function singly as friends. Don't tell me he's gotten to you, too. I swear he must ooze pheromones, forcing all women to fall to his feet. We are just friends."  
  
"Well explain this to me. Where were you all last week? It seems you only came home to pass out and you're out the next morning to god knows where. Your parents left three weeks ago, so I know you aren't with them."  
  
"I took Aiko and Suzume out to see the city. We went ice-skating, saw the penguins at the zoo, stopped by the tree at Rockefeller Center, took the ferry out to the Statue of Liberty... Geez, I think I've seen more of New York than I have in the entire two years I've been here."  
  
"And who else was with you?"  
  
"Akira and your point would be."  
  
"Someone like Akira isn't the type of person who would enjoy babysitting his sisters during his entire vacation."  
  
"He said he wanted to check out some sights, too."  
  
"And I bet he calls you up, saying that his sisters were the ones who wanted to see you."  
  
"You're talking crazy. For the last time, we are just friends." Tsukushi waved her hands emphatically, stressing her frustration in getting the point through.  
  
"Yeah, sure. It always starts as friends. That's what Mike and I said when we decided to consummate our friendship on the couch."  
  
"That's disgusting! People sit on that couch!" Now I need to go get a can of Lysol and some plastic wrap to cover it. I can't sit there anymore. I'm getting sick just thinking about all the times I've fallen asleep there."  
  
"Okay, maybe I've shared a little too much. I think someone's got a little crush on someone else," she sang, while dodging a pillow thrown in her direction. She caught the object in mid-air doing a little victory dance before traipsing back to her own room.  
  
Tsukushi slumped down into her bed and grabbed the phone from its cradle. "Domino's Pizza, how can I help you?"  
  
"Hi, I'd like to order a pizza with pineapple, green peppers, and extra cheese. And while I'm on the line, how about you throw in that delivery girl, Tsukushi?"  
  
"What's up Akira?" she yawned rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "It's only..." she picked up her watch off the table and groaned. "8 o'clock."  
  
"Is it really?" he nervously stated, wincing at his own lack of better judgment to check the time. Back in his hotel room, he silently poked his finger at the finely crafted mahogany desk, feeling rather stupid. He looked up towards the hallway, making sure that he was the only one awake. "I didn't even realize it."  
  
"Did you stay out partying all night again? I bet you just stumbled back to your hotel room this morning. Either that or you freaked the moment you found yourself with some girl whose name you barely remembered and ducked out before she woke up, leaving some lame excuse for leaving in a rush. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Another woman left confused, abused, and used."  
  
"You make me sound like some lecher."  
  
"And you aren't?"  
  
"I never leave a single one unsatisfied. They get what they wanted and so do I. It's a win-win situation."  
  
"Whatever you say. Getting back to my main point. Why are you calling so early?"  
  
"Oh yeah." A soft rumble of laughter crackled through the other line. "I was wondering what you were going to do today?"  
  
She drummed her fingers against the firm mattress listening to the slight rumble of her stomach begging for food. "I don't know, I didn't really think much about today. My parents already flew back home due to an unexpected emergency with the company. Maggie and Mike are the two maniacs going out to stake a plot of sidewalk, to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Why those two want to spend the night freezing their asses off surrounded by thousands of wasted lunatics is still a mystery. Jen offered to let me tag along with her friends to go club hopping, but I don't think I can handle it. She runs with a whole different crew when it comes to clubbing. I'm not quite up to their par. So, I guess that leaves me with the option of a nice chilled bottle of champagne, my favorite sweats, and the shiny metal ball falling on the television. Sounds about right."  
  
"That's really pathetic, ya know."  
  
"No it's not. What are you planning for the festive day then?"  
  
"Actually the thing is that... Well, my parents suddenly sprung the fact on me that they were invited to some New Year's Eve party by one of the clients. It was really last minute. There's really no one to watch Aiko and Suzume."  
  
"Don't waste another breath because I already know where this is going. You have a hot date and can't stay to watch them. What time do you want me to be there by?"  
  
"Six. You are a lifesaver."  
  
"Yep, that's me. You'll think differently when you see the bill on your mini bar."  
  
She hung up the phone and pulled the covers back over her head. Maggie's insane assumption echoed in her mind, but she quickly dispelled the thought. Although she did have to admit that she did enjoy spending time with Akira, but it was to be expected due to their history together as children. He had grown up to be quite attractive and he did have that way of making her smile and laugh all the time.  
  
Crazy. Maggie was crazy.  
  
------------------------------  
  
"So what do you want to do now?" Tsukushi asked, unfolding her legs from the Indian position she had remained in for the last two hours.  
  
The night had been filled with room service, freakish amounts of sugar intake, giggles, games, and movies. It was just another slumber party. It was hardly the way she imagined spending her night, donning a pale blue ball gown she had managed to scrounge up in the back of her closet. It was a little tight in certain places, but she managed to squeeze into the taffeta. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress and slunk back into the couch, watching the small bump in her middle from overeating. What better way to celebrate the bringing of a new year than to end the old one with a bang.  
  
"Where did you get that gown? Aiko asked with a mouthful of s'mores dripping from her mouth. She raised a hand to wipe away the melted chocolate around her mouth. "It's really pretty."  
  
"This? It's my high school prom gown. It was the only dressy thing I could find in my closet."  
  
Tsukushi sat up, trying to remember the vague memories of that night. She wasn't even really planning on going in the first place. It was one of those monumental milestones that were a can't-miss. Most girls at school spent their entire high school career planning around it, even dreaming about the guy, the place, the hair, the make up, the limo, and of course, the sacred dress. She got the shoes, the hair, the makeup, and the date. She scored in the date department by being escorted by another exchange student in the study-abroad and her current boyfriend of a year, Kin. All that was left was the infamous dress. They must have gone to every store in the greater New York area to find it, but turned up with nothing. She was seriously beginning to believe that she would end up attending the formal affair wearing the nothing more than a potato sack with holes cut out for her head, arms, and legs.  
  
Then he came along and fixed everything that was wrong in the world. At exactly 6 am the delivery boy showed up with the most stunning gown she had ever seen, with a simple note that said:  
  
Yo,  
  
You do know that indecisiveness will kill you. Saw this through the store window. Hope it's the right size.  
  
-Rui  
  
He came through for her in the end, like always. Who knew the countless hours she droned on and on about the minute details and intricacies of picking out the perfect dress had somehow taken a slight impact on him. Then again, Rui was like that. He listened. He cared. He knew her. When things seemed to be falling into that spiraling chasm of the drain, he swooped in and made things all better. The night went by perfectly. They danced late into the night and much into the next morning. She went in a little girl dressing up like a princess and came out a woman, but that's a story for another time.  
  
"Actually Hanazawa Rui bought this for me."  
  
"Really?" Suzume asked, suddenly deeply interested in the conversation of a certain boy's name. "You know Hanazawa Rui?!"  
  
"Uh huh," Tsukushi happily nodded. "We've been best friends since we were little kids. We talk all the time. Didn't Akira tell you? I've known F4 for what seems like forever, but Rui and I are like this." She took note of the sudden starry-eyed gaze that she fondly recalled as the Hanazawa Rui affliction. Yep, it was exactly that same look every girl had plastered on her face when Rui was mentioned. "You two wouldn't happen to have a crush on him now would you?"  
  
"Umm... No." Suzume blatantly lied. The telltale flush of her cheeks was a dead give away.  
  
"Yes she does!" Aiko squealed, bowling over in giggles. She always turns red whenever he comes over the house.  
  
"So what?! At least I don't have a thing for Doumyouji!"  
  
"Hey, that was a secret you promised to keep."  
  
"Well, you didn't keep mine."  
  
"Okay, okay." Tsukushi waved her hands in the air, seeking some kind of truce amongst the impending argument. "We all know who likes who now."  
  
"No we don't."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who do you like the most out of F4?"  
  
"Yeah, do you like Hanazawa Rui?!"  
  
"I love them all equally. They are all like brothers to me," she defensively blurted out, hoping they didn't notice the pink of her cheeks.  
  
"Speaking of brothers. What about our brother?"  
  
"I think he likes you. Do you like him? You're always together all the time."  
  
The two girls raised conspiratorial eyebrows to each other, hiding the obvious smirks on their faces.  
  
"Hey! Who wants to get some ice cream?"  
  
--------------------------------  
  
"Looks like I'm the last one standing," Tsukushi whispered to herself as she pulled the blanket over the two sleeping girls on the couch. She carefully plucked Suzume from her shoulder and laid her back down, making sure not to disturb her peaceful sleeping face. Stretching her sore muscles, she padded across the room barefoot, grabbing the complimentary chilled bottle of champagne delivered with their room service earlier. The French doors leading to the terrace were opened and shut quickly without a sound.  
  
It was ridiculous to be standing outside on the terrace in freezing January weather wearing a designer strapless gown with no cover at all. She ignored the cold air caressing her bare flash as her body involuntarily shivered. The cork to the bottle was popped open, sending it flying out into the night sky. With an overflowing flute in hand, she raised her glass skywards.  
  
"Happy New Year!" her rather dull voice yelled out into the black nothingness of night. The hint of disappointment was lost to the nonexistent audience.  
  
"I don't know what to think about someone who drinks while on the job," a voice laughed from behind her.  
  
Wracking coughs emitted from her petite body at the shock of being discovered. The glass was placed onto the railing. She spun around to glare at the offensive intruder. "Akira!" she hissed. "What are you doing back already?" She playfully slapped him on the arm.  
  
"Party ended a little bit earlier than usual," he shrugged. "It was pretty much a lost cause when her boyfriend showed up, wanting to beat the crap out of me. No chick is worth that much."  
  
"Aw, poor baby." Her hands rubbed her arms trying to fight the new chill that began to spread through her body.  
  
His eyes narrowed, seeing her lack of proper attire for the outside weather. He shrugged off his tuxedo jacket, and slipped it over her shoulders, rubbing her arms through the soft fabric to warm her up faster. "It seems you guys had your own little New Year's affair going on. Nice dress, by the way."  
  
"If you've got to do a job, you do it with style," she smirked. She would have continued with their mindless banter if not for the realization of their proximity. The small bundle of nerves that had gathered in her stomach only worsened with the fact that his hands had stopped their smooth rubbing motion, still on her sides. Everything froze.  
  
What about our brother?  
  
It always starts out as friends.  
  
Tsukushi shook her head, trying to make the taunting voices go away. It was ludicrous to even think that her and Akira could have something. Her eyes raked over his features taking note of the way the moonlight hit his face at just the right angel, showing off his chiseled facial features. His eyes seemed glazed over with a strange look that was unidentifiable. A wisp of his bangs fell over his eyes that itched to be brushed away.  
  
"You have something over here," he pointed out wiping away at the smudge of chocolate on the side of her lips. Without thinking, his finger picked up the residue. His finger dipped into his mouth, sucking off the sweet substance.  
  
She could feel her face burning up. There was just something about his innocent action that made something stir within her.  
  
"I'm a little glad that I got back here in time," he whispered, leaning in closer to her face. The deep timbre of voice surprised he himself and her.  
  
She looked pleadingly into his eyes, trying to figure out where he was heading with this. Confusion swept over her features. "Why?"  
  
"Because I've been wanting to do this." Akira leaned in and ever so lightly brushed his lips against hers. The gentle caress of his lips lingered even after he pulled himself away. A look of pure shock was written all over his face, questioning her reaction to his impulsive actions. He had yet to process what he had done.  
  
This was Tsukushi.  
  
Her eyelids fluttered open, feeling the loss of his warmth. The cold chilly wind hit her face, blowing her hair into her face. Nothing seemed to matter or make sense anymore.  
  
This was Akira.  
  
His jacket slipped off her shoulders as her arms reached up, wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. Slowly. Her eyes closed as she leaned, pressing herself against him, returning his previous gesture with a much more brutal force. "Happy New Year," she mumbled.  
  
It was the start of something terrifyingly new and unknown for them both, but they gave in to the thrill of doing it together. For now, the rest of the world could wait, and all that mattered was their exact place and time. The pitch-black sky broke out in bursts of light, streaming the canvas with bursts of colors. From the distance, the toll of the clock chimed in the beginning of a new year and something much bigger than the kissing couple would ever have expected.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Conventions are always meant to be broken. Only when we break free from the expected into the unexpected do we begin to live. It's not a perfect path, but then again, nothing is. We are always given the choices to choose from what would be inevitably deemed safe and reasonable, or we could choose that second door that opens into that black chasm of the unpredictable.  
  
Tsukushi and Akira opted for the unconventional when it came to the precarious relationship outside of friendship they held. Technically it wasn't even a real committed relationship, agreeing to not hold the other back from better prospects with their open relationship. They came upon the decision when he left after New Year's. She knew Akira was still Akira. He knew she had begun dating her ex-boyfriend. Although they saw each other on a regular basis when Akira would take a flight out to visit her for a few days each month. They knew those few days would solely be for themselves, forgetting about the others. They came down to a standstill of quick weekend flights and phone calls, but was it really enough?  
  
"So, your lover boy is coming today," Jen cackled to herself. Her hunched over figure sat on Tsukushi's bed, waving a nail polish brush in the air, coloring each toe nail with the precision and skill as if she were working on the Sistine Chapel.  
  
Maggie's eyes remained fixed on the glossy photo spreads of the latest Cosmo picking out any outfits that she might consider investing in. "How long has your little experiment been going on?"  
  
In frustration, Tsukushi slammed her laptop shut and swiveled to face her too lackadaisical friends conquering the personal space of her bed. "One, Akira is coming next week and stop calling him lover boy. Two, the relationship we have, which you so delightfully call an experiment, has been going on for six months now. If you get nail polish on my bed spread, I'm going to kill you, Jen."  
  
"Girl, you need to chill," she snapped in return. "I think all this studying you've been doing is screwing with your mind. I warned you it was insane to take summer school. You'll be burnt out before the fall semester begins."  
  
"She's right. All work, and no play makes Tsukushi a real bitchy person to be around."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Yeah, the only time she ever breaks out of her PMS cycle is when Akira visits."  
  
"Or when that Rui guy calls."  
  
"Or when Kin drags her out."  
  
"So are you saying I've turned into some sort of misogynist freak?" Tsukushi took off her glasses folding them into her case. The pencil that seemed to have permanently lodged itself into the bun she tied her hair into was yanked out and tossed onto the desk.  
  
"No. We're just pointing out all the options you seem to have." Jen capped off the bottle of pink nail polish, and wiggled her toes to try to dry them faster. She tucked a loose strand of her short black hair behind her ear. "For a girl who is busy all the time with school and work, you sure do get around."  
  
"Oh great, you make me sound like a slut."  
  
"If you ask me, I think that you should dump the whole Akira thing. The whole situation is messy and complicated. You don't need that in your life. I've warned you from the beginning that the friends with benefits rule only leaves you getting burned in the end. If I were you, I would go for Kin. He's actually within a five-mile radius for you to reach him. Don't you agree, Jen?"  
  
The brush glided against her fingernail leaving a flawless line of color. "Leave me out of this. I think it's good she keeps her options open, though. Although it's questionable of how Akira's intentions are. What kind of guy flies halfway around the world to grab pizza and a movie?"  
  
Tsukushi threw up her arms in exasperation. "Don't you two have anywhere else to be? It's getting a little tiring hearing the same thing from you, Maggie. I'm not going to get hurt. We agreed from the beginning that as long as we're having fun we would continue this."  
  
"You never get jealous of the other woman, huh?"  
  
"Why would I? He knows I'm seeing Kin, and he has no qualms with that. I'm not looking for anything serious and neither is he."  
  
She was about to continue her rant, but was rudely interrupted by the ring of her cell phone. "I've got to take this. It's Rui."  
  
"Fine, but don't think this conversation is over," Maggie huffed, snatching her magazine up and storming out the room.  
  
"Whatever." She waved her hand at the hasty retreat of her friend.  
  
Jen stopped beside her, patting Tsukushi on the shoulder. "Don't let her get to you. She's just in one of her moods. I'll go calm her down."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
She picked her phone up off the cradle and shoved it between her neck and ear. "Hey, Rui," she cheerily greeted, knowing exactly who would be on the other line.  
  
"Yo. What's up?"  
  
She picked herself up out of her chair and flopped onto her bed, crinkling her nose at the lingering smell of nail polish in the air. "Tired. Frustrated. Confused. You know, the usual here."  
  
His chuckle echoed from the other line. "Someone's not having a good day."  
  
Tsukushi's eyes closed, allowing her mind to focus on the image of her friend thousands of miles away on the other end of the line. "I'm just tired from all the all-nighters I've had to pull to get some of my projects done on time. I'm struggling a bit to juggle work with school. To top it all off, I just finished getting into a fight with Maggie." She released a sigh of relief at being able to unload some of her burden on someone else.  
  
"Ouch. Someone needs to de-stress herself."  
  
"I'll deal. So tell me what you are up to? Getting into your usual trouble like always? Where are you anyway? I can hear a bunch of sounds in the background."  
  
"The guys decided to take a small trip to the beach. I'm actually outside on the patio right now. You would love it here. Shizuka says hi, by the way. She just left to go for a swim. Soujiro went sailing with his flavor of the week. Tsukasa is somewhere around here."  
  
"What about Akira?" she casually asked, trying to hide the slight rise in her voice.  
  
"Those would be the noises you hear," he laughed. "I've barely seen him the last few days. He picked up some girl he met at a bar a few days ago, and brought her along. Hold on a sec." The line rattled with interference as Rui waved it in the air. "Yo Akira! Close your window!"  
  
"Thanks for ruining the mood, man," a muffled voice yelled back.  
  
"Sorry, about that. Now can you hear me better?"  
  
"Crystal clear," Tsukushi unconsciously gritted out. "So Akira must be having a really good time, huh?"  
  
"Same old, same old. He never leaves home without a girl on his arm. I don't even think he remembers the girls' names. I've seen the guy continue an entire relationship by calling a girl 'honey' or 'sweetie'. I guess it saves him time with learning names."  
  
Her nervous laughter followed. "He's such a man whore. I bet every girl just falls to his feet."  
  
"Hey, are you in there?" a voice asked from the other side of her bedroom door. A few seconds later the door was tentatively pushed open revealing a sandy haired man on the other side. He stepped into the room with a grin on his face.  
  
"Hi. "Tsukushi cupped her hand over the receiver and hastily ordered him to wait outside since she would be done in a few minutes. She waited for him to exit the room before picking the phone back up. "Sorry, I got interrupted there for a minute. Kin just came by to pick me up."  
  
"Oh, I see how it goes. You're gonna ditch me now, after I made the effort to call you. How long have you been seeing this guy already?"  
  
She hopped off the bed, and began rummaging through her room looking for her purse and tossing in her wallet, keys, and other miscellaneous girly things. "A few weeks now. Honestly, I wasn't even going to agree to see him, but he was so persistent about us going out to catch up. I was surprised to find out he decided to transfer schools to come back to the States. I thought he would permanently stay in Japan after he left. It was one of the main reasons we broke up, the distance thing."  
  
"Maybe it's a second chance."  
  
"I guess," she shrugged, then feeling stupid, knowing he could not see her physical action. "We always were good for each other. Right now, we aren't anything serious, but we'll see where this goes. Kin will always be special to me, no matter what."  
  
"The guy wants you back."  
  
"Since when are you so nosy about my relationships? You never cared much before. Not all of us can be blessed with finding our soul mate. Shizuka has made you sappy. I need to get over there and knock some sense into you. But that will have to wait. Kin's waiting. I'll talk to you tomorrow."  
  
"Okay. Bye."  
  
She hung up her phone and tossed her bag over her shoulder. In a rush, she scrambled to fix her hair a bit smiling at her reflection. She wouldn't let what she heard bother her one bit. After all, it was part of the deal she signed up for. Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, she stepped out of her room to meet her date.  
  
There was no room for jealousy when you never had him to begin with.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Rui hung up his phone, and stared blankly out into the scenery before him. It was an island paradise; one where many would have said they would die happy to be able to spend a day there. To Rui, it was just another vacation get away to add onto the list of many others they had taken. He pondered for a moment over Tsukushi's despondent behavior lately. She seemed to be wrapped up in her own little world with all her activities, and they seemed to be taking its toll on her. Deciding to go spend a few hours in the lounge downstairs, he walked out of his hotel room locking the door behind him.  
  
"Hey, Rui."  
  
"What are you doing out of your room, Akira? I thought you'd be busy entertaining your guest," he dryly responded, taking notice of his friend's disheveled appearance.  
  
"She can entertain herself," he grinned to himself. "Are you on your way downstairs? I'll come with you."  
  
"Um. . . Okay."  
  
They walked in companionable silence towards the elevator. Rui kept his hands tucked into his pockets as he strolled down the long corridor. Every now and then, he would glance to his side seeing some vague apprehension on Akira's face as if he wanted to say something. He chose to ignore it, and let the guy speak when he was ready to.  
  
"So, I thought I heard you talking to someone before."  
  
His gaze strayed from the closed doors of the elevator to Akira's face. A small smile curled on his lips at the thought of Tsukushi. "I was talking to Tsukushi."  
  
"Oh, really? Were you out on the deck that entire time?"  
  
"Yeah. You gave both of us quite a show to listen to."  
  
The amusement in Akira's face dropped, but he quickly masked his change in mood. "I didn't think we were that loud," he mumbled to himself. "So, what's going on with Tsukushi? You haven't talked about her in awhile."  
  
It was a dirty thing to do, but Akira couldn't help himself enlisting Rui as an unknowing spy. There were certain things he couldn't bring himself to ask Tsukushi about. Her best friend, on the other hand, was fair game. It was a double standard. He knew it, but for some odd reason, he always felt a tad possessive over the girl in New York. They had agreed to keep their relationship, or whatever it was, a secret from everyone else. The few who did know about it consisted of her roommates and his family. It was her idea to keep it that way, and he agreed, no questions asked.  
  
"I didn't get to talk to her much. She's been busy with her stuff. Then, Kin dropped by and she ditched me for him."  
  
"Kin?" he asked, recalling hearing that name a few times the last time he visited. He vaguely remembered hearing Tsukushi talk about her ex- boyfriend, who showed up out of the blue one day to see her. "Who's that?"  
  
"He's her ex-boyfriend from high school. They recently got back together. She's been seeing him a lot lately."  
  
Akira blanched at the thought of her seeing an ex-boyfriend. For once, he felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach. "I think I need a drink."  
  
--------------------------------  
  
The concept is only burdened more when more than one person is involved. How much are you willing to give up of yourself to be with them? How much will they change for you? They left all these questions remaining up in the air. Why would they care when it was all for fun?  
  
"And you spend hours just lying here?" Akira asked, lowering his sunglasses to meet her gaze.  
  
"Uh huh," she replied, barely sparing him a glance from the book she was reading. Her bare feet kicked up and down in her laying position on the blanket spread out beneath them.  
  
"I'm bored."  
  
"I told you to bring a magazine or book."  
  
"Well, I didn't know I would get tired of checking out the girls sunbathing so fast," he chuckled. A swift jab in the ribs was delivered after the statement left his mouth.  
  
Tsukushi sighed tossing the book aside for now, and pillowed her head on her hands tilting to the side to observe him staring idly at nothing. "Does this mean I have to find ways to entertain you?"  
  
"Perhaps," he grinned. His fingers itched, reaching over to her and tracing lines down the exposed part of her back. Idly, they played with the straps of her haltered top.  
  
"You better move those fingers away before I break them."  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
"I'm just not into the same level of voyeurism as you are. In a public park of all places."  
  
He pouted, losing the one stimulus he was able to find in the last hour. When Tsukushi suggested they spend the day in the park, he thought they would be spending it like all the other couples busy making out around there, Sadly, he was deeply mistaken when she pulled a rather thick book out of her purse and began to read.  
  
"I'm bored," he huffed. "Come on, Tsukushi. I flew out here to spend the last two weeks with you and you spend the precious time with me reading. I suggested we take a little vacation somewhere, but with your internship you had to stay here. I feel like I've barely seen you this entire time. I'm leaving in two days. I thought you would want to spend the time a bit more wisely."  
  
She laughed, knowing exactly what he was hinting at. "I seriously doubt that spending the next two days locked in your hotel room with you trying to grope me and us making out constitutes as spending time wisely. Just enjoy the scenery. I promise we can leave in an hour and we'll do anything you want to do."  
  
His eyes lit up at the sound of "anything".  
  
"I don't mean that, you pervert. God, let me check my bag for something you can do. It's tiring sometimes, trying to think of things to keep you occupied." She grumbled to herself, but secretly enjoyed just having Akira around.  
  
With the frequency of time she spent around him, it was seemingly normal to just spend the day doing her everyday routines with him being around. It was almost as if he was always there like a normal boyfriend, although normal was a bit far fetched.  
  
"Here we go!" she exclaimed pulling out a small tin box. She flipped the lid open and handing him a small sheet of blue paper. "Make yourself useful."  
  
"What am I supposed to do with this?" He dangled the paper in the air, perplexed with how he was supposed to make himself useful with a piece of paper.  
  
"Let me show you. I haven't had time until recently to try out Rui's gift, but now I'm hooked. You fold it like this." She hunched forward with her face intently fixed on making the perfect creases and folds. Her hands swiftly moved with an utmost precision after much practice. When she finished the product, she held it up to admire her work. "That's how you make a paper crane." She gently placed it on the edge of their blanket before pulling out another strip of paper folding a companion for the first one. "Do you think you can do it?"  
  
"I was never really good at origami," he admitted. His hands fumbled with the sheet of paper in his hands crinkling under his handiwork. When he finished the poor crane looked like it had one of its wings clipped or even more accurately, maimed. "Why are you folding these?"  
  
"Well, Rui got me this gift last Christmas. He gave me enough sheets to fold a thousand. They say if you fold a thousand, your wish will be granted."  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "A wish? You actually believe that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
His hand reached up to pull the hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear. "Can I know what your wish is?"  
  
"If I told you, it wouldn't come true." She looked down at the crane he had folded and frowned. "You're crane looks like it needs to be put out of its misery."  
  
"Hey, I made that with a pure heart and soul, so it shouldn't matter. It's the thought that counts."  
  
"I think you should stop before PETA comes to take you away for cruelty of paper animals." She began packing up the few birds she had folded, and tucked them away in the tin. Akira's monstrosity lay in the palm of her hand as she studied it. "I think I'll keep you, though," she talked to the inanimate object. "You will be named Stumpy since you have a stumpy wing."  
  
"Stumpy!"  
  
She smiled, knowing how easy it was to get him riled up. Not wanting to bother with him sulking for the rest of the day, she grabbed his face and pulled him down into a kiss. "It's the imperfections that make him perfect. Just like you," she mumbled against his lips.  
  
Having his bruised ego soothed left him feeling a tad bit incensed by her earlier comments. The idea of arguing with her now left his mind as she ran her fingers through his hair deepening their kiss. They would have continued until they both were completely out of breath, but the sound of their cell phones going off threw them out of their momentary bliss.  
  
"We have to get that," she sighed tapping her forehead against his. Her breaths came out short and a bit ragged.  
  
"How about we continue this in a few?"  
  
"Fine by me."  
  
She picked up her phone and stepped away a few feet for privacy. By the movement of her hands and the way he face lit up, he knew it was Rui. Akira dug his hand into his pocket pulling out his own phone wondering who would be calling him. He distinctly recalled telling F3 he would be away for some business purpose his father was sending him to. He didn't take a second thought about it and answered the call.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hey, Akira," a feminine voice answered.  
  
"Who's this?" He held the phone up trying to read the caller ID.  
  
"I'm disappointed in you. It's Mina. I was just calling to see if you wanted to come out and play tonight?"  
  
He ran the numbers through his head figuring out that it was about eleven at night over there. "Sorry, love, but I'm out of town on business right now. Maybe some other time." He warily glanced up to see Tsukushi tuck her phone back into her bag and settling herself back on the blanket. Her body seemed a bit more rigid than it was before.  
  
"Aw, poor baby. Well, how about when you get back I help you wind down a bit? You can come join me in my hot tub."  
  
"Uh huh." He nervously ran his hands through his hair pretending to seem uninterested by the naughty little acts Mina was offering at the moment. Nothing else could put a damper on his thoughts other than the fact that Tsukushi was right next to him flipping through her book. "Listen, I've got to go. I'll call you when I get back."  
  
"Oh, wait. I also wanted to ask what time you were going to pick me up for the party on Saturday. You remember the charity ball you said you would take me to. I bought my dress and everything."  
  
He vaguely recalled the formal function he had invited the woman to. He was stuck going since his parents couldn't attend. Not wanting to be without a date, he had invited Mina as his date for appearances sake. It would be blasphemy if he didn't show up with a beautiful woman on his arm in public. He cursed himself for forgetting about the benefit. Most of his forgetfulness was due to the time he had been spending with Tsukushi. A lot of things tended to be forgotten in her presence.  
  
"I'll pick you up at seven. I'll talk to you when I get back. Bye." He didn't wait for her reply, choosing to hang up on her then and there. He pleadingly looked towards Tsukushi for some reaction. She had to be either deaf or stupid to not know he was on the line making plans for his Friday night date.  
  
She dog-eared the corner of the page marking her place. "Everything good with you?" she calmly asked.  
  
"Yeah. There's this charity benefit and my parents couldn't go," he clumsily explained. "I couldn't go without a date, so you know."  
  
"I understand." She picked herself up off the ground and began to fold the blanket with Akira still on it.  
  
He jumped up from the ground and grabbed the corner of blanket she was tugging at. "Do you really?"  
  
She folded her arms across her chest and looked up to the sky wishing he would drop the conversation. "I know you see other women, and I'm fine with it. We both agreed not to be bothered by this open relationship. Drop it, and let's go."  
  
"Who was on the phone?"  
  
The look of annoyance on her face faltered, allowing some apprehension to creep up on her, betraying the calm façade she was struggling to maintain. "Just Rui," she nonchalantly replied.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Don't start with that now?" she half yelled, surrendering to the tension filling the air. "I know what you're dying to say."  
  
"You know how I feel about this entire thing. Why won't you tell Rui about us? Do you know how hard it's been on me, trying to come up with excuses for every time I disappear each month to come see you? Why can't we just tell them that we're seeing each other?"  
  
"I . . . I just . . . " she stammered. Her mouth opened and snapped shut, not finding the words. "I just can't okay. Rui is the last person to know about THIS!" Her hands frantically waved in the air showing the enormous proportions of the topic itself.  
  
"Whatever. All you care about is your precious Rui and what he thinks of you. Heaven forbid that he would find out you're seeing someone like me."  
  
"It's not like that," she protested.  
  
"Then tell how it is."  
  
"It's too hard to explain to you right now, okay? I don't know about you, but I'm leaving." She turned around and snatched her bag storming off across the lawn dodging the loitering crowds on the Great Lawn in Central Park.  
  
"Wait up!" Akira yelled, grabbing her hand, not letting her walk out on the fight.  
  
It wasn't the first time they had gotten into a little spat. The past few weeks, there was a noticeable change in their interactions. It seemed like everything was building up to this moment, when the façade of normal would crumble. The green-eyed monster of jealousy was coming into play. His friends, pride, suspicion, and guilt were a few steps behind.  
  
She continued walking, dragging him along with the brisk pace she was making. The fact his hand was firmly holding onto hers made little effect to deter her from escaping.  
  
"Tsukushi!"  
  
She stopped in mid step, spinning around to see the person yelling her name. Her face paled a bit before a fake smile was plastered on her face. The last person she expected to see at the moment had to show up right now to make the day even more perfect.  
  
"Hi, Kin."  
  
"Hey," he greeted her, a little out of breath from the run over.  
  
"I didn't know you were back in town already. How was your family?"  
  
"Good. I just got back a few days ago. I decided to cut my visit short. I would have called you earlier, but I was holed up in my apartment catching up on the mail and whatnot. You know how it is trying to get over the jet lag. I didn't expect to see you here after you told me how busy you were with the internship and all. Who's this?" he looked down at their interlocked hands.  
  
She reacted as if she were burned by fire with his touch. Her hand was instantly pulled away. "This is umm . . . my friend . . . Akira. He's visiting for a while, and I decided to skip work for a few days to show him around."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Kin outstretched his hand to offer a friendly handshake.  
  
"Same here," Akira gritted out. Thoughts of meeting "the other man" raced through his mind.  
  
"Well, we should really get going now. I'll call you later, Kin." Tsukushi stepped between the two men separating them. A bit of fear flashed through her, hoping that the look in Akira's eyes was nothing.  
  
"Sure." Kin stepped forward wrapping his arms around Tsukushi in a protective manner. He leaned down and kissed her full on the lips giving her little time to respond and process what was going on. "I've missed you," he murmured into her ear. "I'll talk to you soon." With that said, he walked away leaving the aftermath he had caused for Tsukushi to deal with.  
  
She closed her eyes hoping that when she turned around Akira would have miraculously disappeared. Luck was not on her side when she opened them. His face was blank, which could only be the beginning of bad things. "So that was Kin."  
  
"The ex-boyfriend, huh?" he snorted.  
  
"Well, not exactly. He kind of lost that title when we started dating again."  
  
"Have you slept with him?"  
  
Shock etched across her features. "What did you just ask me?"  
  
"I asked if you were sleeping with him. You must be doing something with him to get a response like that from him."  
  
"That's really none of your business." She could feel the anger rising up in her. "Why does it matter if I am? You sleep with other girls all the time, and you make that no secret. What if I am?"  
  
"Then I'd say you're a cheap slut like the rest of them to give it up so easily."  
  
The remark stung like a fresh slap across the face. At that moment, she couldn't stand the sight of him. The hurt was only deepened by the fact that he showed no remorse for what he had said. She wanted to start crying right there, revealing the effect his words had on her, but pride prevented her from giving him the satisfaction of knowing how easily he had wounded her. Her voice steadied, taking away all emotion. "If that is how you feel about me, then I think we don't need to continue this deprecation of my character. I think you should go back to your hotel now. We're both very angry right now, and I don't want to continue this conversation any longer. Goodbye."  
  
He watched her walk away form him and made no move to stop her. Anger consumed him, mixed with jealousy and stubborn pride. He refused to apologize for what he said, but knew he would later regret those words. He did the only thing he knew to do. He went back to the hotel.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Two days. Two days had passed in the blink of an eye and there he was, packing up the last of his suitcase. While he had predicted his last two days in New York to be much more positive, things didn't work out as planned. After their fall-out the other day, neither of them had made any effort to call the other. Akira refused out of his own stubborn will, choosing to deny he was jealous and had let those hurtful words slip out of his lips like water. So, there he was, spending his last few hours packing alone.  
  
With the last of the gifts he promised his sisters and mother upon his return, he flopped onto the bed. His eyes turned towards the phone calling out to him, but he resisted the temptation. All it would take was a call to end the silent treatment going on between them. His heart begged him to just get over himself and apologize. He was seconds away from breaking his resolve and dialing a number, but a knock at the door stopped him.  
  
He tiredly stumbled towards the door, stifling the yawn trying to escape from his mouth. "Who is it?" The door was pulled open without any thought of who was standing on the other side.  
  
"Hi." Tsukushi weakly waved. She shot him a wary smile, unsure of the flabbergasted look on his face. "Can I come in?"  
  
He mutely nodded his head, stepping aside for her to enter. His heart lifted a bit that she had caved in, coming to see him after the blow up a few days earlier. A tinge of smugness hit him, knowing that she would take the first step to reconcile. No effort or sacrifice to his ego would be made.  
  
She stopped in the middle of the lavish suite with her back to him. There was an eerie calm, which was quite uncharacteristic of her. It was like in the few seconds her presence graced the room, everything stopped for her alone. Her posture remained rigid, and her face fixed in some distant blank expression, completely lacking any emotion at all. Her arms wrapped tightly across her chest, as if guarding some great secret from the rest of the world.  
  
"This ends here."  
  
The words hit him at full force, taking him to utter shock. That small victory he had planned in his mind of being right and her wrong flew out of the window. The statement was foreign to him, lacking any true meaning. He closed the door, which had been left ajar in her swift entrance. His feet moved to approach her, and when his hand reached to touch her shoulder, she took two steps forward, making him miss his target.  
  
"Why?"  
  
A cynical laugh hauntingly echoed in the air. "Isn't it obvious?" she dryly asked. "We were always alike, you and I. We always did like playing with fire. I was the one who believed that the world revolved around freedom and chance. You didn't play by the rules either. Now we both got burnt tasting a bit of reality, huh?"  
  
"You're not making much sense." His gaze hardened on the back of her head. It was annoying him to great lengths the fact that she would not turn to face him. "So, you are cutting the ties?"  
  
"Yes. We always agreed that either one of us could end this when things stopped being fun. They were going downhill for quite awhile. I should have noticed that we were headed in this direction when the visits became more frequent and the calls daily. We were becoming too dependent on each other. You have to admit that this never would have lasted very long to begin with." Her voice strained under the utter bluntness of her words. They were true after all. After ignoring the signs for so long, they all came flying at her in one crushing blow.  
  
"We've fought like this before. I'm not exactly thrilled to end it like this. Would it make a difference if I apologized for the things I said?"  
  
"I've had the last two days to think this over, and this is for the best. I'm doing us both a favor."  
  
"You could at least look at me when we break up," he snorted in distaste.  
  
Tsukushi spun around on her heels, coming face to face with him. They stood a mere foot away, but it felt more like a chasm had thrust them miles apart. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. Look at what we're becoming. I'm starting to not even recognize the person I see in front of me. What happened to the happy go lucky guy I met at Christmas? Where is the guy who suggested that as long as this was fun we would continue this?! I'm sick of all of this!" she screamed, not caring if the people in the next room or down the hall heard her cry of frustration. "I don't like what I'm becoming. I lie to my friends. I feel these compelling urges to hurt those other women you're with. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Maggie sure as hell was right when she said this would end horribly." Hot tears began to streak down her pale cheeks. Her arms hugged tighter across her chest, trying to hold back the furious choked sobs fighting to break free.  
  
Akira stepped over the invisible line keeping him away, not caring what the consequences were. His arms reached out to pull her into some kind of soothing embrace. However, it had only the opposite effect, making her body tremble more violently. She braced her hands against his chest trying to get some leverage to push herself away, but he refused to let her go that easily.  
  
"What can I do to make things better?" His voice cracked slightly.  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This is about me and not you. I don't know how you feel about this entire thing, but I can't go on much longer like this. Do you know I called you a few nights before you flew out here? A woman answered the phone. She said you were in the shower, and when she asked who I was, I didn't even know what to tell her. I don't know what I am to you. I know for sure that we've passed over that line of just being friends a long time ago. If we do this now maybe we can salvage what is left of this defunct friendship. It hurts. It hurts so much sometimes that I can't breath."  
  
"I don't understand. Is it because you don't like the other women? You have Kin."  
  
"He just complicates things more. It's unfair to him that I do this. He and I actually might have a chance, but not right now. I know he wants more, but I can't. I won't let him close enough because of you." She shrugged herself out of his arms, seeing the rigid stance he took at the knowledge of what was to come. "Are you willing to change? Can you promise me that it could just be you and me?"  
  
His face fell downwards to stare at the ground. The words just couldn't be found to pacify her. In his heart, he knew he wanted more than anything to ease her suffering, but he just couldn't do it. Here she was laying all the cards down, and all he had to do was knock them off the table. His long silence was the least cruel method to answer her question. Any weak attempts at forming coherent sentences would have lead to a massacre on her fragile ego.  
  
She managed to pull herself together, and nodded her head. "I understand." Her light footsteps could be heard as she walked past him towards the door.  
  
"Exactly when did things stop being fun?" His question accidentally came out aloud instead of inside his mind. His mind was still reeling from the fact that for the first time in his entire life, a woman would be leaving him.  
  
"Do you really need to hear it?"  
  
"Yes," he barely whispered. It was masochistic to want to hear her say it. It was her last words to him that would plague him for months to come. Every time he heard those words repeating in his mind, his heart would swell a bit before constricting into a strangling chokehold.  
  
Her voice carried across the room to his almost deaf ears. "When I realized I was falling in love with you."  
  
And with that said, he let her go.  
  
------------------------------------ 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I'm so po', I couldn't afford the O or the R.   
  
Chapter 7  
  
Warning: I put in a slightly limey, but tame scene. We are all adults here, or I think so. Either way, you should read at your own risk, so I guess if you know what grown-ups do in the bedroom you can read. If not then shield your poor innocent eyes.   
  
  
---------------------   
  
  
They say that time will heal all wounds. When their little affair ended, it was all a matter of regrouping, licking their wounds, and getting back onto that proverbial horse. For Tsukushi, it had to be Kin that helped her steady her legs, once again finding the courage to hop back into that saddle. The road was a bit bumpy, leaving a trail of doubt and caution behind, but with some encouragement from her friends and Kin she was finally able to ride again. However, it's never easy to forget that first fall for it's always the one that hurts the most. She sat there smiling, seemingly enjoying the ride, but it was impossible to miss that change in her demeanor. She would never again ride with that same carefree joy, but now with a bit more reservation protecting herself from the dangers of the first.   
  
Tsukushi! Hello! Are you listening to me?  
  
Huh? Sorry, I was just putting the finishing touches on this poster board display.  
  
Can you stop fiddling with that thing, already? It's perfect. Now leave it alone.  
  
She tilted her head to the side, inspecting the row of boards lined up against the wall. The last semester had been rather exhausting for her considering the newfound drive she forced herself into. No one, not even Maggie or Jen, the people who lived with her, ever dared question her obsessive tendencies concerning her artwork lately. With the semester coming to a close, Tsukushi should have been thrilled to be picked as the only student in the class to have her work displayed in the annual art exhibit the school had. It was an honor for whomever was chosen from each of the categories ranging from paint, digital, sculpture, and other mediums to make their own showcase. Tsukushi had been easily picked for the photography division this year, knocking all the competition out of the water.   
  
We should be celebrating tonight! Maggie cheerfully chorused, pulling out a bottle of chilled champagne from the bag under her feet. It's not every day that we have something really boozeworthy to celebrate over. Come on girl, you should be ecstatic. Jen and I barely made it into the final elimination round before we got booted out.  
  
Damn it, I knew I should've spent the extra money to buy the higher grade paint. The texture just didn't come out right, Jen grumbled to herself.   
  
Drop it, will ya? You lost, so let it go, Maggie laughed, patting her fallen friend on the back. You don't see me grumbling because the stupid judge said I should have used a better filter on the coloring and shading. You could barely tell the difference if I had switched the gradients for some of the colors like he suggested. I still think those changes would have ruined the final product. It doesn't make for good print.  
  
Who's bitter now? Jen tucked a strand of her newly cropped hair behind her ear. Out of habit she ran her fingers through the locks as if trying to see if any bits of paint were hiding in the mass of black.   
  
Fine. We're both sadistically jealous of Tsukushi and are silently plotting her demise for being picked. I thought we were so close to getting into the showcase.  
  
You can't deny that Ryan and Keiko's stuff was good. Tsukushi spoke up, but kept her face towards the board as if she were talking to the paper instead of her friends. She shrugged her shoulders. There's always next year. You two can come back with a vengeance and kick some ass then.   
  
She finally resigned to leave the boards alone, and turned around to enter the small circle on the floor. The champagne had already been poured into the cheap ninety-nine cent plastic flutes. They raised their glasses, and Tsukushi downed the glass in one gulp. The effervescent bubbles tingled down her throat.   
  
Slow down, Maggie softly admonished.  
  
I'm doing what you wanted, celebrating. Resting her glass down beside her, she stretched her body to spread out on the throw rug. Her face looked up towards the ceiling, and her breathing evened out, pushing away the nervous flutters in her stomach. Kin asked me to go away with him for the break.  
  
Jen stretched out, spooning herself against Tsukuhi's side. Being a bit shorter, she snuggled up against the girls arm and tilted her head down to rest her chin on her shoulder. And is that so bad?  
  
Not wanting to be left out of female bonding, Maggie curled up onto Tsukushi's other side. Her long blonde hair pooled on the ground, mixing with Tsukushi's chestnut locks. You don't have to go. You could always stay here with us huddled in front of the radiator while we cuss out the superintendent for not fixing our heat.  
  
Genuine laughter that had become a rarity from the girl broke through the silence. You do make that quite tempting. A few weeks skiing in Vancouver or freezing to death in this apartment, the dilemma of it all. Her chest rose and fell, letting out another heavy sigh. I think Kin wants to take the next step in our relationship. He's been hinting about getting a bit more intimate lately.  
  
If you're not ready, you shouldn't force yourself.  
  
I don't know if I am. It's just the underlying meaning of it all if I do. Kin has been the only guy I've ever been with.  
  
What? All those times you stayed over at his hotel. I assumed you and Akira? Jen clamped her hand over her mouth, regretting letting the word slip out.  
  
Tsukushi's jaw visibly clenched.   
  
Good going, Jen. Maggie reached her arm across Tsukushi and slapped the blabbering girl.   
  
  
  
Tsukushi shook her head. It's okay. We never went that far. We always just slept when I stayed over at the hotel. I never let him go that far, and it was a good thing I never did. I wouldn't want to have ended up another name to add to the list.  
  
Her eyes drifted across the room, stopping at the copious amount of floral arrangements sent to her the last few days, congratulating her on her success. There were individual bouquets delivered almost every hour that day from her parents, from Rui's parents, her grandparents, Kin, Maggie, Jen, Mike, Rui, Soujiro, Aiko, Suzume, and even that dense Tsukasa. When the news broke out of her accomplishment Rui made sure that everyone knew of his best friend's accomplishments. They all called, e-mailed, and even faxed a few words of congratulations. Everyone who cared made sure to show her how proud they were of her. Everyone except for him. She pretended that it didn't hurt when no word came from him. After that day in the hotel room further contact between them had completely ceased.  
  
He didn't seem to care.  
  
We live, and we learn. It's been almost four months. You have to let it go. You have to let him go.  
  
I know.  
  
--------------------------------   
  
Numb.   
  
Bone chilling cold.   
  
The soothing lull of the sweet liquor's effects had left him. When they touched his body, there was no warmth. His smile was just as bright as before, but behind the façade of pearly white they held back the false pretenses of his very existence. The lights, the facetious off-topic comments, the enticing thump of the rhythmic music, did nothing for him. Their laughter, their warm pliant bodies, their utter devotion were meaningless.   
One by one they followed him home much like the children chasing after the pied piper promising only good times to come.   
  
When he had returned from New York that last time, he went straight from the airport to his bedroom without sparing a few words of his return to his family. The withering glares he would send them when they mentioned her name were enough to answer their questions as to how the trip went. The dark cloud that seemed to loom over him was left unexplained, leaving his friends and family completely helpless to his rage. It was rare if ever that Akira ever truly became angry. He was more of the laid back type, generally shrugging off the anger in search of better use of himself, but what had occurred between him and a certain young woman had left him beyond slightly angered.   
  
F3 had concluded the small business trip his father had sent him on ended on a sour note. Either that or he hadn't been able to score as much as much as he wanted. It was a little joke amongst them that when Akira wasn't getting laid, he seemed to act as if he were going through PMS. He proved them wrong when he left the club every night with a different woman on his arm, and a smug look on his face.  
  
So, time passed and life fell into its little predictable patterns. He went to school. He hung out with his friends. He laughed. He smiled. He was the same old Akira. A few changes had occurred, but nothing life-altering. After enduring the barrage of constant questioning from his sisters and mother about Tsukushi's lack of responsiveness as of late, he got fed up with it all. He made some excuse about learning to be more independent and took refuge in an apartment across town away from them all. How he once basked in being surrounded by people at all times, especially his family, he had now come to enjoy the peaceful silence of solitary living arrangements. To his added benefit, his mother would be none the wiser of the heightened number of nightly visitors to his bed.   
  
Then there were those times late at night he found himself laying there in bed unable to fall asleep. Insomnia would hit hard with a vengeance robbing him of an escape. Those were the times he was forced to actually think, step back, and look at what he was. He would turn to his side, sometimes spending a few minutes studying the beautiful creature he had lured into his bed that night. Sometimes when he wasn't thinking, he would see her face superimposed over the woman really there. He would recall the way her lips slightly parted and the sounds of her soft, shallow breathing as she slept. His mind would wander, losing any perception of where his dreams ended and reality began at times.   
  
. . . I was falling in love with you.  
  
He woke with a start clutching his chest, hearing those cursed words echo through his mind again. His fist pounded against the soft pillow, beating the defenseless object into a mangled mass. Akira raised his head to glance out the window, realizing that it was probably some time in the mid morning already, but he didn't care much considering he had no real plans for the day. His head fell back down onto the mattress while he tried to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Nothing much could quell that uneasy feeling in his chest.  
  
He glanced over at his nightstand, peering at his cell phone standing upright in the charging cradle. From the constant flickering of light coming off the screen, he knew there probably were a few messages he had to check later. It was just at that very moment that the device began to vibrate violently, almost tipping over. He began to reach for the annoying thing, but pulled his hand back deciding that whoever it was could wait. There were more important things to be done. Shedding himself from the tangle of sheets wrapped around his waist and legs, he plodded across the room towards the shower. Perhaps the sting of ice cold water would awaken him a bit more and distract him long enough to refocus his mind.  
  
----------------------------   
  
Akira! Are you in there?! A loud banging followed the yelling from outside his front door. Hurry up and open this door before I open this door myself!  
  
he irately yelled, furiously tugging at the low slung towel wrapped around his waist. He cursed under his breath at having to be dragged out of his shower to answer the door. He flung the door open completely out of breath and eyed his mother grinning evilly on the other side.   
  
Her eyes leered at his half naked body while her tongue made clucking noises. My little baby boy really has grown up to be a handsome man, she giggled. You've grown so big since I saw you like this. I still remember when you used to run around your room naked as the day you were born, begging me not to make you wear that little sailor suit I bought you.  
  
"Not the sailor suit, he groaned, remembering his mother's perverse fascination with dressing her children up like dolls for her own amusement. Although he had to admit that he didn't completely hate the cowboy outfit she got him for his fifth birthday. It had the matching spurs, lasso, hat, and all. Can you come inside already before my neighbors come out to see the mad woman in the hallway?  
  
The way you speak to your mother, she pouted. Giving into his pleading look to do as he said, she stepped inside the apartment. She shook her head in disapproval over the messiness of his domicile. One thing she could never tolerate was living in one's filth, so she pushed up the sleeves of her Chanel sweater and set about picking up the takeout boxes left opened on the coffee table.  
  
Akira shrugged, letting her to go at her own devices. He was beginning to feel the draft go up his towel, so he set forward to his bedroom to find some proper attire. While he began to rummage through his drawers for some jeans and a sweater, a feeling of dread formed in the pit of his stomach. There was this sense of foreboding related to his mother's surprise visit. Grabbing his cell phone from its cradle, he scrolled through his missed messages, realizing that it was his mother's call he had so blatantly ignored a few minutes ago.   
  
He couldn't blame her for not giving him some notice of her arrival. She had learned a while ago not to come over unannounced. It was an awkward position trying to explain the strange girl in his room trying to sneak out of the place while he and his mother were enjoying some tea in the living room. She didn't exactly buy the story about her being the new part time cleaning girl when her panties were spotted spilling from her purse. Looking back they may laugh at it one day. It was just like Mimasaka Ayumi to raise an eyebrow, maintaining that million-dollar smile while politely pointing out to the girl that her panties were showing. Just like that she went back to their previous conversation about the quality of the tea leaves, leaving the poor girl from feeling any further embarrassment.   
  
He sighed, shrugging the loose sweater over his head. His fingers combed through his damp hair, and he walked out ready to face his maker, literally.   
  
What are you doing here, okaa-san?  
  
What? You don't want to see me? I'm hurt. She pulled a hand over her heart pretending to be wounded by his blunt question. The last of the trash from the living room was chucked into the garbage bag she had managed to dig out in his kitchen, and she left the bag in the middle of the room, leaving him to finish the task of dragging it out to the garbage chute. The petite woman walked over to the couch and settled herself while patting the seat beside her. Sit. I just came to talk. I don't bite, you know.  
  
I'm still not too sure about that, he mumbled to himself. He grudgingly plopped himself down beside her, feeling her wrap a hand over his. Her thumb rubbed the palm of his hand in that soothing way she would always do when he was a child.   
  
Her actions soothed him a bit, bringing down the noticeable tension in him. Like a cat having its belly rubbed, he succumbed to her ministrations as her other hand reached out to brush his bangs out of his face. What are you doing to yourself, Aki-chan? she whispered. Her eyebrows knitted in deep contemplation, looking through him for some sort of reasoning for his behavior.   
  
He turned his head away, feeling the force of his childhood name spoken to him. It had been years since his mother called him that name. He remembered begging her to never call him that ever again when he got into high school. It was a name he had learned to be ashamed of due to the pressures of being a teen. It didn't make it much better when Soujiro started using the name against him. He knew it hurt her when he burst out commanding she stop calling him that since he was a man and not a child. It was in moments like this he regretted that decision. In reality, he was still that lost little boy.   
  
He managed half a smile for her. I'm doing fine, okaa-san. You don't need to worry about me.   
  
A small spark lit in her eyes at his dismissal of her worries. Her jaw clenched and the softness in her features vanished. Tell me why I worry at nights about you ending up drunk in one of those clubs you love so much. Tell my why you go through women nowadays like tissues. This isn't like you.  
  
You don't know much about your son.  
  
I guess I don't. The Akira I used to know smiled for the reason of smiling, not because people expect him to. He loved life and life loved him. Don't you see what you're doing to yourself? Your father and I are worried about these mood swings you've been experiencing. You snap at the slightest things. You spend about six days of the week at different clubs with different women every night.  
  
How do you know?! How do you know about what I do? I keep up with school, and I help otou-san at the office. I visit home once a week. So what if I party once in a while? I don't see what business of yours it is who I spend my time with. There's no harm in going dancing with friends and maybe kicking back a few drinks. I'm safe. Do you want to see a lab report or something? We can go right now. He knocked her hands away, wanting to distance her from him. I do everything you ask of me. Just let me do what I want on my own time. I don't appreciate you sending your spies out to check up on me either.  
  
I only worry about you.  
  
I can worry about myself. I'm nineteen years old.  
  
Barely able to be a real man, she derisively pointed out. A real man would accept the truth. It seems that I can't sugarcoat thing anymore. If you want to be a man, then I'll treat you like one. Her eyes glared into him with a coldness that spoke volumes in itself. You fucked up.  
  
Hearing that come out of his mother came as a shock. Never in his entire life had he ever heard his mother speak to him in such a way. Maybe when she was livid at the gardener for accidentally mowing over some of the bed of tulips she planted or that time the cook forgot about Aiko's allergies to peanuts forcing her to rush to the hospital after consuming something with peanut oil in it. She spoke her anger out on those strangers, but never her own flesh and blood. She always looked upon him, no matter what, as the golden child.   
  
In general, most people would have been surprised by the tiny woman's outburst and use of vulgar language. Everyone who knew her knew she possessed an air of cheeriness and good will at all times. Akira's own temperament had been much accredited to his mother. She rarely stayed angry or showed signs of anything but being lighthearted. To see her display of true anger was a sight he would remember for quite some time.   
  
What did you say?  
  
You heard me the first time. You fucked up. I want to help you, Aki-chan, but I can't do anything for you unless you are willing to start helping yourself. Tell me what's wrong.  
  
His head fell back onto the couch with a thud, and he rubbed his temples, massaging the headache his mother was giving him with her prying. Fine. We'll do things your way. Don't you ever think it's ironic?  
  
What's ironic?  
  
Tsukasa's parents were set up in an arranged marriage and barely tolerate each other. Both of them could care less about their children as long as they can one day take over the Doumyouji empire. Tsubaki married some guy to strengthen their power. Tsukasa will probably do the same thing. It'll be a wonder if the poor woman tolerates him with his emotional retardation. Look at Soujiro. Same scenario, but his father chooses to occupy his time having flings with random women. His mother knows, but turns her head the other way. She's a very sweet woman who married a man she didn't want to, but she accepts her fate loving the one good thing that came out of it. In turn, Soujiro can barely handle a relationship with a woman for more than seven days. Then there's Rui. His parents love one another. They love him. He was just born cold to the world selectively opening up to people. His emotions are his own secrets. Finally, there is me. I grew up being the most well adjusted. My parents have always openly shown their children they loved us and that they loved each other. Everyone always told me how lucky I was to have a real family. Yet in the middle of all this love I was shown and given, I find myself unable to even tell the one person who matters what she means to me. His dead eyes lifted to gaze into his mother's. Why? She said she was falling in love with me. I choked. I didn't know what to do. So, I let her go. Why?  
  
She pulled his head to rest on her shoulder, combing her fingers through his tousled hair. It's okay to be scared. It's a huge thing to realize that you love someone.  
  
I thought I could let her go and just pretend like nothing happened. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. I just couldn't understand why I felt like something was missing from the moment she walked out of that hotel.  
  
She sighed to herself, realizing the complexity of the entire situation. I know about the little agreement you had going on with Tsukushi.  
  
What? How did you know about that?  
  
I overheard your little proposition to her. At the time, I thought it wouldn't hurt you both to have an open relationship, considering the distance between you two. In a way, I blame myself for letting you children continue when I saw you two becoming more and more attached to each other. I should have said something, but you aren't a child anymore. I trusted you to be able to handle it. No matter what a woman says, Akira, she'll never settle for being second best.  
  
She was never second best, he grumbled to himself. I don't know what this strange feeling is. I just don't understand much of anything anymore. He dropped his face into his hands, cowering from the gravity of his life. What's wrong with me?  
  
His mother patted him on the back, letting him take a moment to collect his thoughts. After a few minutes, she broke the silence. I can tell you what I think. I think for the first time my Akira has fallen in love. For the first time, it wasn't just a game. You're scared of those overwhelming feelings that seem to take over you. When you think about her you can't help but smile just thinking about her, but at the same time, you feel like you're being torn apart. Her light laughter filled the air. It's like they breathe life into you while taking it all away. As much as you've tried to deny it, and didn't even realize it, you fell in love with her as fast as she fell for you.  
  
You don't make any sense.  
  
If I don't then can you honestly tell me that you've been happy these last few months? I know Tsukushi hasn't.  
  
You've talked to her? His voice gave out his apparent concern etched in the question. How is she?  
  
She pretends she's fine. I've spoken to her a few times when she's called your sisters. The most we ever got out of her was the fact that you two decided to stop seeing each other, but I assumed it was a bit more than that. I guess I assumed correctly from the way you are. She does ask about you sometimes.  
  
I haven't talked to her since last time. I just couldn't deal with trying to carry on a normal conversation with her now. Things are just too far gone for us. I don't know how I feel anymore.  
  
She lightly hit him on the back of the head. You're in love, idiot.  
  
he moaned, rubbing his head. Is this why they say love hurts?  
  
Don't take what I've said lightly, she scolded. It's up to you what happens from now on. Most people don't get second chances. She stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her pants. This was a nice little mother to son chat. We should do this again some time.  
  
Why? You like to tell me I fucked up?  
  
No. I like you telling me about your problems. She bent over and kissed the top of his head. I know you'll do the right thing, but for now I have to be going. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask. With her task done for the day, she showed herself out of the apartment. The wheels in her plan had been set in motion. Now it was all up to him.   
  
Akira sat there, for how long he doesn't really remember. It was only when he received a call from Soujiro about some party going on later that night that he snapped out of his stupor. Somewhere in the middle of his contemplations an entire day had passed. Thoughts of those final few moments with her flashed through his mind. He kept replaying it over and over again. Something could have been done. If he hadn't said the things he said or perhaps had said something more maybe she would have stayed.   
  
He decided that mulling over his problems at the moment would be better left for later. For now, he needed some fresh air and a change of scenario instead of the dim depression of his apartment. He pushed himself off the couch, hearing the bones in his body crack protesting the sudden movement. Going out would clear his mind a bit. However, that wasn't soon to happen.  
  
What's this? he mumbled to himself, sounding crazier by the minute after realizing he was in fact mumbling incoherently to himself the entire afternoon. His finger sifted through the pile of mail that he assumed his mother had brought in earlier with her and left on the table. A single slip of paper protruding from the stack fell to the floor.   
  
His second chance had come all in the single form of a plane ticket.  
  
-------------------------------------   
  
All that business grooming hadn't gone completely to waste for once. Akira might have seemed harmless and rather incompetent on the outside, but that was the persona he had taken on. No one suspects much from the grinning idiot. For what he was about to do, he would need to use every trick he had learned. He knew for one thing that you never send a man in blind.   
  
Research had to be done. He knew that too much time had already passed, and he wasn't left in a better position considering that he hadn't spoken to his intended target in five months. He cursed himself for cutting all ties with her. He could have gone to his mother for help, but she didn't know the girl well enough to help him get into Tsukushi's good graces. Aya and Suzume could have been useful except for the fact that every time they came in contact with him they would give him the cold shoulder and the look that just screamed, I know you did something to hurt her. So, he was between a rock and a hard place. Two days later, and four days until his scheduled flight he came to one conclusion. It was a bit cowardly and underhanded, but in the rules of love and war casualties must be taken. There was only one person who knew Tsukushi inside and out.   
  
Akira shoved the mass under the bedding from side to side, trying to rouse his napping friend.   
  
It was already four in the afternoon, and Rui was about half an hour into his afternoon nap. Most people knew better than to disturb the young master's rest. Even his girlfriend knew better than to bother him when matters of sleep arose. No one likes a cranky Rui.  
  
Wakey, wakey! he screamed once again. His arms were getting tired from tossing Rui's heavy body back and forth on the bed, but he wasn't about to give up yet. C'mon! Wake up, Rui!  
  
One bleary eye opened up to look into the face of his tormentor. He could see the flashes of emotion in his face ranging from shock, delight, and finally disappointment. Inwardly Rui smirked at seeing Akira's response to his little greeting. The middle finger in his face was the best silent gesture to deter Akira from continuing his attempts. He closed his eyes once again, hoping his point had been made clear and enjoying his victory.   
  
Akira sighed, knowing that his efforts had pretty much been made in vain. Watching Rui sleep so peacefully had begun to affect him making him suddenly feel very sleepy. He shrugged his shoulders and hopped onto the bed to lay on top of the sheets Rui had buried himself under. His eyes closed, hoping Rui would be in a better mood when he woke up.  
  
Rui, you've got a package, a voice called from the doorway. Without waiting for a reply, Shizuka strode into the room expecting her boyfriend to be just waking up from his nap. What the?!  
  
Huh? What's wrong? Rui let out a loud yawn, and sat up in the bed. He looked on in bewilderment as his girlfriend broke out into an obscene fit of laughter. She looked as if she was about to hyperventilate. What's so funny?  
  
Her eyes widened, realizing that he had yet to figure out that he had not been sleeping alone. She lifted a shaky finger holding back the tears from laughing so hard.   
  
Rui tipped his head downward to his left, and let out a yelp. What are you doing there?!   
  
Akira rubbed his eyes with a look of pure innocence on his face. Good morning, lover.  
  
With a dexterity and speed that no one could have ever imagined Rui possessing, he jumped out of the bed patting down his body with his hands. Did you rape me in my sleep?  
  
In response, Akira pouted. Maybe you took advantage of me first.   
  
God, I need to wash those sheets now. Better yet, I might have to burn the entire bed to rid them of your germs.  
  
You hurt me. You seriously wound me.  
  
Shizuka took this as her cue to step in before the two men continued their circle of conversation. Ok, I think you two should end this before we end up going in circles for the next hour. Let me settle this for the both of you. You're not gay, and I know that for a fact, so you don't need to worry about me rethinking your sexual preferences. Plus, your clothes are still on; therefore, it's unlikely Akira raped you in your sleep. Thirdly, I'll find you some new sheets. You, Akira, I don't know what exactly you want, but keep your hands away from my boyfriend. I'll be back in a bit while you two boys settle your differences. By the way, I brought in this package for you Rui. It's from Tsukushi. She placed the parcel onto the bed and marched right back out the door muttering to herself about finding clean sheets.   
  
Rui carefully picked up the box as if it were his precious child, and seated himself on the floor. His mannerisms had taken the form of a five year old kid trying to hide his precious candy from the others before they found out begging him to share. Tsukushi was his guilty pleasure.   
  
Whatcha got there? Akira asked, his interest significantly piqued at the mention of Tsukushi.  
  
Nothing. It's nothing. It's just another one of those packages Tsukushi sends me every month.  
  
  
  
Yeah. It's not a big deal. Sometimes she sends me pictures or random stuff that she thought I would like. It's always another surprise with whatever she sends me. One time she sent me a big Kit Kat bar because she bought an extra one and didn't want to waste it. For some odd reason she was fascinated by the fact they made one large Kit Kat stick. I'll never figure out her train of thought. The candy was good though.  
  
Akira peeked his head over the bed, trying to look over Rui's shoulder and sneak a peek at whatever hidden treasure lay inside the plain brown box, but was blocked by the other boy's shoulders shifting from side to side. So what's in there?  
  
Rui's body stiffened at the rude request to see what lay inside the box. The small care packages they sent back and forth every few weeks was their thing. He was about to shove the box under the bed to be opened later, but suddenly realized one very important factor. Why are you here anyway?  
  
He racked his brain for some excuse to explain his mysterious appearance at Rui's house. Usually there was nothing ever that important that couldn't be said on the phone between the two. So he made up a lie. My mother asked me to drop off some stuff for your mother.  
  
  
  
A long awkward pregnant pause ensued.   
  
So, do you need something?  
  
Do I need a reason to see my good friend? he tried to pass off his nervousness by throwing him off the trail with some off topic.  
  
Rui furrowed his eyebrows, clearly not buying the ruse. Try again.  
  
Fine. I was bored. Tsukasa had to go do some stuff for his mother. Soujiro had a date. I didn't feel like dealing with a woman tonight. Therefore, by process of elimination that leaves you. I'm going to be leaving in a few days on business, so I thought I would spend some quality time with my friend. He watched Rui's face for any indications showing acceptance to his explanation.   
  
With that one word the answer was accepted requiring no further elaboration. Rui extended his arm back to pull open the drawer of his nightstand, taking out a sharp letter opener. With one swift stab, he tore through the tape sealing the closed box in his lap. He pulled out the bubble wrap, letting the items inside fall to the floor. A small book fell, and he picked it up, flipping through the pages. Page upon page was filled with a different photograph.  
  
Akira leaned over the edge of the bed, looking over Rui's shoulder. Where are those pictures from?  
  
I think from her last showcase. It was a pretty big deal from what she told me. Only one person in the entire class gets picked to debut their work for their category. Of course, Tsukushi won the photography slot. She promised to send me a copy of everything since I couldn't go to her show. I got bogged down with finals and everything else last week. I wished I could have flown out there, though.  
  
They're nice, Akira blandly stated, not quite focusing on the pictures, but rather the small tidbits of information Rui was giving him. However, something in the theme of the pictures caught his mind. What did she name her theme?  
  
Summer Love. Most of the pictures she took were from a few months back. She included some of the unused ones for me to look at.  
  
He wasn't quite prepared for the shock. There she was lying on her side in bed with a lazy smile on her face. The rays of the sun cast over her face illuminating her pure contentment and innocence. When he looked more closely, he knew exactly where that picture was taken. The arm draped around her waist and the head of brown hair slightly blocked behind her head was definitely himself. His mouth opened slightly, aghast at the meaning behind all of it. In a way, she had revealed their relationship to the world. Who's the guy?" he managed to utter dumbly.  
  
Rui stared at the picture for a few minutes as if he were slowly connecting the pieces, but not quite making them fit together. I'm not sure exactly. I assume it's her boyfriend, Kin. They started going out seriously around the summer, I think. It's kind of weird, though. His head tilted to the side contemplating something or another.   
  
What's weird? Isn't the whole theme about love?  
  
It's just strange that she would use her boyfriend as one of her subjects. It doesn't make much sense considering the theme, summer love. Summer love is bittersweet. It's that fleeting feeling you have that lasts for only a season because you know once the summer is over it has to end. If you look closely all the photos have some chronological order to them from the beginning of the relationship to the end. Every single person she shot had a story. He flipped to the next page, admiring the next picture. Her technique has gotten much better. Look, she managed to double expose two pictures together making a superimposed picture. No computers.  
  
Akira looked down and saw the same picture of Tsukushi lying on her side in bed, except the angle was different, showing off the large windows. He squinted, seeing the faint ghostlike figure of a man with his back turned in what looked like an airport terminal. It looked like she had taken the picture of his departure and exposed it in the area of the window making it look like she was using the window as some sort of projection screen embellishing the wistful expression on her face.   
  
She was at the airport, he whispered to himself in shock.   
  
Did you say something? Rui asked, wondering why the normally talkative man had suddenly become so sullen. He slammed the book closed and put it back in the box, thinking to himself that he would show his girlfriend the shots. You're not looking too good. Are you okay?  
  
Uh yeah, he numbly answered. I just realized something. I forgot to send her the flowers you told me to.   
  
Rui frowned at his statement. You should at least send her an apology or something for forgetting. Even Tsukasa and Soujiro remembered to send something. That show was a really big deal to her.  
  
  
  
She got me a box of pocky. The said box was pulled out, and he flipped the lid open offering him one. Want one? It seems kind of weird to eat pocky that has been shipped from Japan to the US and now shipped back to Japan. Oh well, pocky is pocky. He popped the chocolate stick into his mouth, dug further into the box, and pulled out a smaller box. He flipped the lid open and picked up the large fist size paper crane. She's gotten pretty good with these, too, he said to himself. Ah, I see she's reached that six hundred benchmark. You ever hear of the story behind paper cranes, Akira? They say if you make a thousand of them, you can have one wish granted. What would yours be?  
  
Akira wanted to kiss the sleepy eyed fool. He knew that it wasn't a mistake to use Rui as his guide as to how to get back into Tsukushi's good graces. He offered a cheeky grin. "If I told you then it wouldn't come true, now would it? He snatched a pocky stick from the box and held it between his lips like a cigar in victory.  
  
Smoking pocky I see.  
  
Yeah, so. You look like someone who smokes something more than pocky. Have you been experimenting with other snacks?  
  
Shizuka paused at the door watching the two boys fight over the last pocky stick. Akira had Rui in a headlock while Rui held onto the box with a death grip. They rolled around a few times on the floor, fighting over the petty item. Sighing to herself, she stepped over their bodies and plucked the last stick from the box. Taking a large bite out of it, she smiled. Good pocky.  
  
------------------------------------   
  
Tsukushi huffed one last time, blowing the annoying bang that fell over her eyes. She had promised herself to keep it down to the bare essentials when packing for her ski trip with Kin, but it was proving a daunting task to fit two weeks' worth of clothes into her one suitcase. She jumped on top of the suitcase once more, trying to use her body as a weight to expel any air that might have filled the inside crevices.   
  
Need some help? two voices asked from the doorway.   
  
Maggie stepped forward, and jumped on top of the suitcase, sending a loud whoosh of air while Jen yanked the zipper closed. The metal screeched as it grazed across the fabric.   
  
Are you sure you have everything? Jena asked with a lopsided grin. I think there are still a few drawers in your dresser with clothes in them. You act like you're never going to come home again.  
  
I think she's trying to make a run for it, Maggie laughed joining in. Too good for us now, huh? We can always turn your room into a nice walk-in closet.  
  
I know. We could put up some racks against the walls and divide up the space between the two of us. Every girl's dream is to have her own walk-in closet.  
  
I get the joke already, Tsukushi sighed, jumping off the engorged suitcase. She walked over to her dresser checking her drawers for any wayward clothing that had escaped her eyes earlier. Even though the trip was short, she felt compelled to bring enough clothing to last her a few weeks rather than the two she needed. I thought you guys would be all set to go yourselves? Aren't you leaving for your mother's tonight, Jen? And Mike has been driving me insane with his talk about going upstate to bring you to meet his parents, Maggie.  
  
God, I can't believe he's actually introducing me to his parents! The blonde threw up her hands in disbelief with a withering look on her face, wondering what she had ever done to be punished so. I would have been fine if it was just me meeting his parents and his siblings, but I never would have imagined I would be meeting every single person in his family at once. To make matters even worse his parents always refer to me as Mike's artist girlfriend. They have some strange idea that visual design isn't a real profession. This is what happens when I date a guy who's pre-law. His family has some weird tradition of a long line of doctors and lawyers. Who brings their girlfriend to a family reunion?  
  
Apparently Mike does, Jen laughed in a singsong voice. Perhaps someone has finally decided to settle down.  
  
Yeah, it only took him a year to figure out that I don't like his harem idea, she snorted. Sometimes I feel like I've got to beat some sense into him to stop his flirting. He flirts with everyone including you two.  
  
I kind of like it. It's his way of showing he appreciates you, Tsukushi chimed in, clearly loving the fact that she could annoy her friend. She draped herself behind Jen, peering over her shoulder and flashing a wicked smile. After all, he is quite handsome.  
  
Jen cooed. She took on that motherly tone that they had always used to laugh at whenever they visited Jen's mother. The woman was always one to love to pry into the girls' love lives. Su novio es muy guapo.  
  
Si, si. Tsukushi nodded her head, keeping a serious face the entire time. If it weren't for our sisterly bond, I would be all over him.  
  
Me too.  
  
We could make it a threesome.  
  
The two burst out laughing, rolling on the bed. Jen barely dodged the pillow sent flying towards her head.   
  
Ha ha. Laugh at the poor girl who is about to go in front of the firing squad. Remember to thank your mother for the nice scarf she gave me for Christmas, Jen. I'll have to go down to Brooklyn and see you two when Mike and I get back next week. I have to rush back to see my parents in Long Island before they leave on their cruise.  
  
Jen sighed and lay back down on the bed, trying to catch her breath from all the laughter. Girl, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. I would take Mike's uber conservative family over being in a cramped little house with over fifteen kids from two months to eleven years old running free. I'm in babysitter mode from here on out. My sisters have got to stop pumping out those kids like candy.   
  
Now you're making me start to miss my family. I wish they stayed longer this year after the fiasco last year. They were miserable for the last two weeks before they left with the stomach flu. I was lucky enough to not catch it. It seems like Susumu breeds germs.  
  
Don't worry. You'll have fun.   
  
Their light banter was soon interrupted by a buzzing sound.   
  
That must be Mike. He wanted to get a head start on traffic getting out of the city. Maggie strutted out the door, and a few minutes later reappeared with her boyfriend in tow. She walked forward and gave a quick hug to Tsukushi. Are you going to come along, too, Jen? Mike said we have enough time to drop you off at your mom's.  
  
I'm in for a free ride. Have a good time, Tsukushi. Give me a call when you get to your hotel later. It'll give me an excuse to run away from my nieces and nephews for a few minutes.  
  
Sure thing, Tsukushi waved. She watched her two roommates amble out the front door, each lugging suitcases and bags for their journey. Now all she had to do was wait.  
  
------------------------------   
  
Akira could hardly contain himself as he rushed through customs after hastily grabbing his luggage from the carousel. He was a man on a mission, and there was only one place to be. As the cab pulled up the familiar street he had passed so many times within the last year, he felt his heart jump in his throat. For a moment, he questioned what had possessed him to do something so insane. Doubt flooded his mind, telling him to turn around and walk away, yet his heart told him otherwise. This was his last chance, and if he let it go that would be the end.   
  
He grabbed his suitcase from the trunk of the cab, and proceeded towards the door. Unexpectedly, a man was already there ringing the buzzer. Akira's eyes rose to meet his and instantly recognized him. He never expected the small kink in his plan to show up, her boyfriend.   
  
Kin waved. He dumbly smiled, having no clue that the guy in front of him had flown a few thousand miles and across an ocean to steal his girlfriend. He narrowed his eyes as if trying to make the connection as to why this guy seemed so familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?  
  
I think we've met before, Akira answered shyly. I'm a friend of Tsukushi's.  
  
His eyes lit up when he put two and two together. Oh, yeah! I remember you now. You're her friend, Akira. She mentioned you a few times after you left last summer. So, what are you doing here?   
  
I just thought I would stop by to tell her I was going to be in the city for a few days on business. Maybe I should have called first. I hope I didn't interrupt any of your plans or anything. The plastered smile on his face faltered a bit with each passing second in Kin's presence. At that moment, Akira wanted more than anything to get rid of the guy before he got in his way. Trying to maintain polite conversation was becoming a grueling task.  
  
Kin's gaze fell down on the suitcase clutched in Akira's hand. A small frown followed. I just came by to pick her up to go to the airport. We have plans to go up to Vancouver for the next two weeks and get in some skiing and the sights. Were you planning on staying with her for a few days again?  
  
No, no, he dismissed the idea. He was about to elaborate on his answer when a voice interrupted him.  
  
I think I need some help with my suitcase, Kin. Could you come up please, Tsukushi laughed from the intercom.   
  
Kin pulled the door open as she unlocked the door, and motioned Akira to walk in ahead of him. I bet she'll be surprised to see you. Actually, I needed to pick up something from around the corner first. Do you mind helping Tsukushi with her stuff? Tell her I'll be up in a few. He blindly waved towards Akira, already halfway down the block.   
  
A large grin formed on his face. It was an opportune chance to steal the girl. So, he had a good ten minutes to convince her that he was obviously the better choice. Kin would probably not take it too well, but he seemed like a nice guy who would leave peacefully. In his mind, everything was falling into place. Those were his thoughts as he ascended the stairs towards her third floor apartment. The door was left ajar, so he slid into the apartment without a sound. With her back turned to him, he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and never let her go again.   
  
Kin? The suitcase is next to the couch. I'll be out in a minute, she yelled from the confines of her bedroom. Tsukushi looked warily at the racy negligee in her hands. It had never been used before, and was something she definitely wouldn't have purchased. However, Maggie and Jen had other ideas when they got her the pink satin Victoria's Secret nightgown for Christmas. I don't know if you'll be put to use, but you never know, she dryly laughed to herself as she tossed the item into her carry on bag. For a moment, her heart stopped when she heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her. She froze, hoping that Kin hadn't overheard, or seen what was in her hands seconds before. As she turned around, she suddenly wished she hadn't.   
  
He dumbly waved, feeling this sudden sense of awkwardness. A long pregnant pause followed, which he took as a bad sign considering the scowl that crossed her face. All of his overly inflated adrenalin-induced confidence flooded out of his system like the rest of his plan going down the toilet. I was in the neighborhood, and decided to stop by, he weakly offered.   
  
She glared at him, wondering why in the world he would decide to show up at a moment like this. Just when she was about to get her life in order, he had to bum rush his way back in. Her face twitched in annoyance. This neighborhood is a long way from yours, she flatly stated, leaving not an ounce of emotion in her voice.   
  
  
  
Tsukushi brushed past him, and settled herself on the couch, knowing that whatever he needed to say was most likely meant to be shocking. Sit. Let's have a chat, she coldly, yet politely ordered. It's been a good few months since I last spoke to you.  
  
He meekly followed her to the living room and opted to take a seat across from her. From the look in her eyes, she was beyond pissed off.   
  
I've been good, I guess. He quickly resorted to mentioning lighter notes to lighten up the conversation. Suzume and Aiko miss you.  
  
The frigid mask she bore faltered for a moment in her own guilt. She had been neglecting keeping in touch with the two girls lately. It was a little odd to try to remain on good terms, considering her prior relationship to their brother. I haven't had much time to talk to them lately. When you see them, please send my apologies.  
  
  
  
His curt answers and the dead end conversational topics they kept encountering were just mounting the tension in the air to new heights. Part of her wanted to just scream at him to spit out whatever it was that he wanted to say, while another wanted him to just leave. Out of sight, out of mind was working just fine for her at the moment. She didn't need any more reminders of the man who broke a heart that had been so easily given away.   
  
Her fingers tapped against her knee in a rapid motion, setting a fast tempo. It was a bad nervous habit of hers, ranking with that shaking, bobbing leg thing she got when she was bored. The little voice inside of her head screamed to just get it over with. Okay, I've had enough of this. Just tell me why you came here? I've got a flight to catch soon.  
  
He dug his hand into his hair, fisting a large amount of it. Getting the words out was easier said than done. How was the showcase?  
  
Her head snapped up for a moment, taking her attention away from the pellets on her sweater. How did you know about that?  
  
Rui mentioned it to me. Sorry about not sending any congratulations any sooner. It was amazing, though.  
  
How did you see it? her voice quavered a bit. Apprehension was clearly etched in her face, worrying if he saw what he saw.  
  
Rui. I was there when he got the package. Summer love, huh?  
  
she bitterly laughed. I hated the title and the theme, but that was all I had finished to submit.  
  
It was good. His eyes searched hers for some brief glimpse of hope. You were at the airport that day.  
  
She turned her head away in shame, kicking herself for not tossing him out of the apartment like she should have done earlier. An overwhelming sense of entrapment surrounded her. It was stupid really, she snorted. I don't know what made me go there. One minute I was sitting in my room listening to some music and the next thing I know I'm in a cab headed for JFK. Her head remained downcast. Her hands fumbled, tugging down the sleeves of her sweater. I really should be going. Kin is probably waiting for me. She stood up, and grabbed for the handle of her suitcase, forcing herself to find the strength to lug the gargantuan piece of luggage out of the apartment and away from him. However, a hand stopped her from making that move.   
  
Akira wrapped his hand over hers, pulling her delicate fingers away form the piece of luggage. He let his instincts take over, and moved his other arm, snaking it around her waist and pulling her backwards into his chest. His other hand dragged her captured one resting it on her belly. He leaned forward and rested his chin on her shoulder taking in the deep, sweet scent that was all her own, one that he had longed for like a drug.   
  
Don't leave me, he said in a small whisper. There was a tinge of desperation laced with the words, making them achingly more painful to her ears.   
  
She closed her eyes, feeling their bodies meld together into one, like in a way they had always done so easily before. For a moment, she allowed herself to be swept up in the moment, letting shock and disbelief take the blame for her careless actions. However, pure reason reared its ugly head, alerting her of the severity of the situation. She stepped forward pushing herself away from him.   
  
It was an opportune moment when Kin walked through the door. He stopped abruptly and tilted his head, sensing something was up by the way the two were so eerily silent. One brief glance at Tsukushi alerted him to the fact that perhaps that moment hadn't been the right time to walk in. There was something about Akira though, that made him wonder. It was a nagging feeling in the back of his head, that perhaps this guy had something to do with his girlfriend's melancholy. As a man, jealousy swept through him, wanting to take back what was his, cursing the fool for letting her go. At the same time, better judgment told him that they would need to settle things for themselves sooner or later. For her to move on with him, she had to let the first go.   
  
Having a little trouble with this suitcase? he nervously laughed.  
  
Tsukushi managed a small fake smile, and nodded her head. A little. Can you take this down? I'll meet you downstairs. I just need to settle some things here.  
  
He nodded his head in quiet understanding. I'll see you in a few. Dragging the bag across the floor, he quietly closed the door behind him, letting them have their privacy.   
  
Tsukushi turned around, and pointed an accusing finger at Akira. Her voice faltered, trembling slightly. There was a bit of cruelty in her voice that she had long held for only him. What is that supposed to mean? She started to look frantically lost, pacing back and forth in her spot, almost forgetting about his existence as she ranted. Do you think it's that easy?! People with common sense don't do this! You aren't supposed to.no, waitYou aren't allowed to do this. Not now. Not ever. Of all the times to show up  
  
he interrupted. I had to come before it was too late. You don't understand what I've been through. I was stupid and scared. You made me feel things I never thought I would feel. That's why I came here. I wanted to tell you that I  
  
She raised a hand to his face halting him before any more words escaped his lips. Her head shook from side to side.   
  
No what?  
  
No! As in no, you are not going to tell me what I think you are going to say. It's way too late to be saying. She twisted her hands in horror and disgust. Her pacing stopped abruptly, and she glared directly at him, Damn it! she hissed. Do you realize what you just walked into? Kin! I'm with Kin now, okay. Oh my god, you even walked in on me when I just decided I would have sex with him! This is so not happening right now.  
  
He cast his head down, looking dejected. He never really considered that things would happen like this. In his head, they would already be making out on the couch, making up for lost time by now.   
  
She continued her tirade, ignoring the pensive look on his face. What right do you think you have to come here like this?! You never even tried to speak to me in almost half a year, and now you decide to come. No way. It doesn't work this way. I've moved on, and so should you. Go home, Akira. Whatever you came here to do, forget about it.  
  
His mind came to one conclusion as he tuned out all she had just said. There was only one way to put the issue to rest. He stomped over to her, and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders to stop her erratic movements. His eyes bore into hers. With no hesitation nor pretense, he said it straight out. I love you.  
  
She froze speechless, losing all coherent thought of the three words placed together in the sentence at the same time coming from him.   
  
Do you still love me?  
  
His grip on her slackened when no reply came to him except some strange look of bewilderment as if he was some kind of freak show. She steadied her body, and backed away from him, heading towards the door, which she swung open.   
  
I think you should leave.  
  
He looked up to take one last look at himself vowing that he would never again approach the issue with her. He had lost his chance, and now he would pay for his own foolish pride and mistakes. A wry smiled fixed on his face. That's all I needed to know.  
  
Wearily, he picked up his forgotten suitcase at the door and walked away, but not before having the last final word. I meant every word of what I said.  
  
---------------------------------   
  
She sat in the waiting area of the airport, listening to the voice on the loudspeaker call out flight numbers. Her mind was not really all there to begin with as Kin spoke to her about the things they would do once they got to the resort. Her thoughts were elsewhere in another time and place. She crinkled her forehead trying to grasp some sense of his words.  
  
So what do you think?  
  
It sounds great, she replied, not really even caring if it was the right response to his question. She looped her arm around his and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. A sudden need for some kind of warmth to ward off the cold infiltrating her body consumed her.   
  
Kin worriedly looked down at her despondent face, knowing for sure that the man, Akira, was the source of her problems. He recognized those looks and mannerisms perfectly whenever she seemed to fall into thought about that other man. He never really pushed her about what had exactly happened except for getting the fact out of her that he had broken her heart. What else could she do, but leave a man she was utterly falling in love with, but would never incline the same intensity of emotion towards her. In his wake, he had come along and offered her some sort of comfort, no matter what little it was.   
  
He always knew deep down he was being used to fill that void in her heart, but he didn't care. For a woman, he cared a bit more deeply than love itself he would allow her to abuse his ego. In a way, they had always understood the other's needs more than they knew themselves. That was why what he was about to do was tearing him up inside. It was a moral dilemma in which he knew the right answer.   
  
He frowned when he came to the realization of where they stood. Tsukushi, why are you here with me?  
  
The haze that clouded her mind lifted at the disturbingly frank question. Because you want me to be here, she answered with a bit of uncertainty. Her eyebrows knitted as she mulled over the oddity of the question. Something bothered her greatly about the question and the look of his face when he asked it. There was a bit of irony in the multiple interpretations of the simple question. She chose the easiest route and blurted out the obvious answer.   
  
Her answer had sealed their fate, and it hurt him all the more that she didn't even realize it. She tried to put on a happy joking tone in her answer as if mocking the frivolity of the question itself, but her answer had said it all. Nothing good could come out of staying with someone because they believed they wanted them to be there. No real love could ever really come of it. Maybe at some point, she had wanted him for her own sake, but that was not the case now. He didn't want her duty or obligation. He wanted her to want to be with him. As a man, he could not accept her answer nor could his pride.   
  
Kin gently lifted her head off of his shoulder, and he smiled. he uttered.  
  
She sat back, confused by the one word statement.   
  
He shook his head laughing at himself. Go to him before he leaves. I'll see you when I get back. Not waiting for her to even answer his vague order, he stood up clutching his plane ticket in his hand. He turned around, sparing her one last long glance before he walked through the terminal, getting in as the final boarding call was made.   
  
She deserved the best man. It was just his own folly that he wasn't that man, and nothing could ever change that.  
  
---------------------------   
  
Tsukushi wearily stepped out of the cab that pulled over in front of her building. The deep lines of defeat and regret etched in her features. It was about two in the morning when she finally decided to give up and go home. After running to every hotel in the city and another trip back to the airport, there was no sign of Akira being anywhere. The first place she had gone to was the hotel he normally stayed at, but even after slipping a fifty under the counter to the concierge to pull up his records in the computer, she found nothing. He had cancelled his reservations earlier that day. She had even gone as far as buying a ticket to get into the boarding area of the airport to wait at every boarding flight to Japan. All her efforts proved fruitless.   
  
This time she was the idiot to let him go.   
  
Everything had been forgotten in her haste to track him down. After she had regained her composure from the shock of being ditched at the airport by Kin, the realization of what he meant hit her by full force. In a way, his abrupt exit was his own way of letting her go to pursue another man. It amazed her how he so easily pieced together that Akira was the guy who hurt her. Perhaps she had been too painfully obvious or maybe Kin was just more intuitive than most people. Whatever it was, his act of pure unselfishness pushed her to do the right thing.  
  
It was only too bad she had wasted his efforts.   
  
She sighed heavily as she dragged her feet up each step towards her floor. She considered calling Jen to perhaps ask to stay with her for the night, not wanting to be alone, but for some strange reason she couldn't bring herself to tell her what she had done. In retrospect, any sane person would have knocked her a few times upside the head for her hideous mistake. Her last resort was to keep her mouth shut and wallow in her own self-pity.  
  
Self-pity was good. Actually anything was better than being yelled at by the hot-tempered Dominican woman. Jen had the tendency to curse out anything from the ground to the sky in Spanish and English. The tone and alternation in tongues was enough to send anyone's head spinning.   
  
As she reached the last step, she stopped at the top, bewildered by the strange invasion of paper animals on the floor. They were paper cranes to be more exact. One by one they lined a trail that seemed to stop at her door. Her curiosity peaked at the paper trail. With her head bent downwards she followed them one by one and stopped at her door. She tilted her head, seeing a small card placed in front of the last one bearing the words, I wish I could have done it right the first time.  
  
She bent over and picked up the card and studied the familiar handwriting, already knowing right away who it belonged to. Her heart pounded in her chest with apprehension of what else lay behind the door. Slowly, she reached for the doorknob, and let the door slide open. A hand reached out to turn on the light to illuminate the dark room. Her eyes widened as the trail that started outside continued into the apartment. Small armies of multi-colored paper cranes huddled in the corners of the room, on top of the tv, on the ground, and any other free space available. Similar cards to the one in her hand were strategically placed in front of one crane.  
  
I wish I wasn't such an idiot.  
  
I wish she could hear how sorry I am.  
  
I wish to be a better man for her.  
  
I wish I could tell her.  
  
I wish for her trust.   
  
I wish to never hurt her again.  
  
I wish that she still loves me.  
  
I wish she could see me.  
  
Her voice echoed in the empty apartment, as her head spun around the room reading the cards out loud. A lump rose in her throat as she called out his name in barely a whisper. No response came to her silent plea as the large impenetrable walls she had built up for so long crumbled beneath her. She noticed a trail of cranes leading to her bedroom. Her feet moved ever so slowly, taking small steps towards the closed door. She held her breath as her fingers pushed the slightly ajar door open. The card in her hand floated to the floor, and her hand rose to cover her mouth in a loud gasp.   
  
I wish to love her for the rest of my life. Her trembling voice carried in the room as she read the last card.   
  
Akira stood in the middle of the room holding the last and largest crane in his hand with the card bearing those very words on it. He stood firmly without any doubt or hesitation in his posture or form baring himself to her. All that he had to offer her was in front of her.   
  
Her head spun in dizzying circles trying to gather what was happening, thinking it might be all some sick hallucination. Strings of paper cranes were strung from the ceiling making a canopy of them on top or her bed. They seemed to be suspended in mid-air as if in flight. She hesitantly let her gaze meet his, and her breath caught in her throat.   
  
I love you Makino Tsukushi, he firmly declared. I love you and only you, and I'll never want another woman as much as I want you.  
  
That was enough to send her flying into his arms. She practically leapt across the room, flinging her arms around his neck, and crushing his lips with a brutal force. All those months of estrangement, longing, and desire came out in that one kiss. It was bittersweet with her tears falling down her face onto her lips, mixing into their kiss, making it taste sweet and salty all at once.  
  
They pulled themselves apart only when the need for oxygen became dire, and their chests heaved against each other, gasping for air. She leaned her forehead against his own, and once again, she let her lips brush ever so gently across his, while she spoke her next few words. I love you, too.  
  
He would have opened his mouth to say something else, but was stopped by her index finger placed over his lips. Akira looked in bewilderment as she tortuously began to brush her lips against his. An all too seductive soft sigh fell from her lips coming out in a tiny mewling noise. He decided to let her take control of the situation since he still wasn't quite sure what this all meant.  
  
She nipped at his lower lip, causing his mouth to open in surprise; thereby, giving her the opportunity to slip her tongue into his warm mouth. As her tongue tortuously and teasingly tasted all of his mouth, her trembling hands moved from his chest and onto working the buttons of his shirt. When the very last one was left undone, she pushed the piece of cloth away from his body, letting it carelessly slip onto the floor. The soft rustle of clothing broke the slow silence of the atmosphere foreshadowing of more to come. Her nails raked over every part of his exposed chest, trailing up and down his hardened muscles.   
  
Akira let his body do all the thinking as she seduced him with her actions. She did it all so easily as if what they were about to do or what he thought they were about to do was a daily occurrence. His hands reached for the back of her head and fisted into her long hair, pulling her closer to deepen their kiss. His tongue weaved around hers in a not so innocent chasing game battling for dominance. He stiffened when he felt the cold air hit his now naked chest, wondering when she had removed his shirt. His next big surprise came when she fumbled clumsily with his belt buckle. The slight clinking of the metal trying to be unhooked awakened him to the reality of the situation. His hands removed themselves from her hair and were brought down to stop her trembling hands. Now that he had stopped her halfway through her task, she looked up at him and he saw something he had never imagined seeing in her eyes ever. Her normally large bright brown eyes had become clouded, showing great depths of hunger and need, turning almost black in the dim room.   
  
I didn't tell you I loved you just to get to this, he confessed.  
  
A slight pink tinted her cheeks as she lowered her head in embarrassment. A sudden shyness took over her, but soon she found the courage to look back up at him. I know, she whispered in return. Her fingers tugged on the belt buckle once again. She lifted her head, and brought her lips up against him, letting them move against his as she told him of her intentions. I want to be with you.  
  
He took that as an agreement to continue with where they had been heading, and he nodded his head. His fingers tugged at the hem of her sweater. She lifted her arms up in the air as he pulled it upwards, removing the constricting piece of clothing, stopping to touch her bare heated skin. He gently pulled her towards the bed, and turned their positions around, letting her back fall to the soft mattress. Her hands had finally worked that belt off and moved onto the zipper. With great ease and practice he kicked his trousers off. His own hands had already moved to undo her jeans. He only let himself leave her lips for a moment as he left her breathless. Her soft sobbing pants filled his ear with a sort of masculine pride that he could do this to her. His hands gripped the material into fists as he pulled her jeans down and off her legs. Slowly, he peeled each sock off, rubbing her soles, massaging the tension out of them. He stroked her ankle and moved one hand in a kneading motion upward to her calf, then to her thigh, and finally resting both of his hands on her hips. Her skin was so soft and supple to his touch, and he could feel each tiny reaction she expressed with the slight shudders caused by his fingers raking over her body. Inside he swore he would be the only man to ever touch her, to taste her, to make her burn with such reckless abandon ever again.   
  
She opened her eyes, feeling the cool air of the room touch her skin. She could feel his hands resting on her hips, and she forced herself to sit up, meeting him in a kneeling position on the bed. She placed her hands over his and guided them upwards to the back of her bra. The small snap of the metal being unfastened only increased the rising temperatures of their body, fueling their desire.   
  
He moved one hand to slide one strap down her shoulder, his lips trailing small kisses down her throat and shoulder. Slowly, the other one was pulled down to, and the entire garment was removed. He sucked in his breath seeing her breasts at eye level in front of him. She wasn't overly endowed nor was she less than blessed, but what he saw was perfect. In his eyes, she would never be anything less than perfect.  
  
Tsukushi saw him still when her bra fell to the floor, and she hesitated for moment, raising her hands to cover herself, but his hands stopped hers, pulling them down to her side. He expressed his approval by leaning upwards to kiss her neck.   
  
He sucked on the back of her ear near her earlobe, whispering, Absolutely beautiful, over and over again, worshiping her. His husky labored breaths became lost in the mixed mumbles of his incoherencies.   
  
She pushed herself away from him, and slid backwards using her feet to push her body up towards the head of the bed to prop herself up slightly in a half-sitting, half-lying position. One hand was kept over his pulling him onto the bed with her, which he obediently did so. She tugged him on to lay on top of her, and he slid onto the bed to lay beside her, using one arm to support himself to hover over her. Unconsciously, she let her hair fan out around her on the pillows and sheets. Her hands tugged at the waist of her panties pulling them off, and she dropped them to the floor with a small thud without realizing just how much the sound raised Akira's level of arousal. Her eyes, which had closed while she removed her last piece of clothing, leaving her completely nude, opened ever so slowly. Anticipation and need stared right at him.   
  
Make me yours, she breathily pleaded.  
  
----------------End flashback-------------------   
  
She blushed profusely recalling that night. The memories of his every touch, caress, kiss, and breath scorched into her mind, flashing through it all at once like a tidal wave. No man had ever touched her in such a way nor made her experience heights of pleasure quite like that ever. Even though somewhere in the back of her head she knew where his skills had come from, she smirked knowing that she would be the only one to ever receive such attention from him.   
  
Akira rolled over, and propped his cheek with the palm of his hand, staring down at Tsukushi who seemed to have drifted off in thought. He grinned to himself at seeing the telltale blush in her cheeks that was turning her entire face a pink hue. What are you thinking about? he asked, feigning innocence as to where her thoughts had wandered. Are you thinking about me?  
  
She shook her head, emptying it of such thoughts, and mentally kicked herself for being so obvious as to what she was remembering. she huffed, folding her arms across her chest, refusing to let him win. She decided to change the subject. I was just thinking about how long it took you to make all those paper cranes.  
  
His face fell in disappointment, but he decided to go along with her for now. Well, I did have a little bit of help. It took a few days and nights without sleep. Two cranky sisters, an entire house staff, my mother, and even my father to get them all done in time. By the end of it all, we were all sporting a large number of paper cuts.  
  
You do know that you're supposed to make them all by yourself to get your wish to come true.  
  
You couldn't have expected me to make ten thousand cranes within a week! I made a thousand, and that nearly killed me. I got my wish. I get to love you the rest of my life.  
  
She tapped her finger against her chin, putting on a serious pensive face. I can see how the others didn't get granted entirely considering how you're still an idiot, She fell into a small fit of laughter.  
  
Ha ha ha. Very funny, he pouted. I don't want to talk to you anymore. You're mean! He got up and brushed the dirt off of his pants, and stuck his tongue out at her like an impudent child. I don't need to take this from you. He stalked off with his arms folded across his chest.  
  
Aww! Don't be like that! she giggled, running to catch up with him. She tugged at his shirt making him stop. Don't be mad, she pretended to beg. I'll make it up to you. I'll do whatever you want.  
  
You will? he asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
Yeah? she hesitantly answered, regretting her offer to do anything of his choosing.  
  
He spun around, lifted her up off the ground and threw her over one shoulder. He slapped her behind and laughed in victory. How about we go relive what happened after the cranes?  
  
she squealed. Put me down.  
  
No can do.  
  
Well, at least put me down and we can go back to your place or mine.  
  
Who said anything about waiting to get back home? He set off into a fast sprint across the grass and only laughed at her previous comment. The car is closer!  
  
--------------------------------------   
  
Rui peered over the balcony seeing two blurry figures streak across the campus in a mad dash, making them appear as nothing more than a blur. He chuckled to himself at their playful nature as Tsukushi pounded on Akira's back flailing, kicking, and screaming her head off. Akira only continued to torment her when he spun her around in circles. It was almost comical how minutes before they laid serenely on the lawn staring up at the passing sky. He turned around to walk away, but stopped abruptly in his tracks when he heard an all too familiar voice scream.  
  
The car!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Hmmpretty good for my first limey scene. It was pretty tame, though, more like a sprite. My teeth hurt from all this cutesy fluffiness. I demand angst! There needs to be less luvin and more angst! Yeah, I'm having a dry spell of angst. Introspection is delayed for now since I reread it and my beta was right about lack of flow. Sigh. Back to huddling over my comp bashing at the keyboard.  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"You are such a bad influence," Tsukushi huffed. Her face remained flushed from their earlier activities. The engine of the car hummed around them and the windows were sealed tightly keeping their conversation private. Tsukushi unbuckled her seatbelt, and proceeded to climb over her chair leaning into the backseat searching for that naughty bra that seemed to have vanished in the confines space during their tryst.

"Hey, I didn't make you do anything."

"Who was the one who practically tossed me into the backseat of his car? Which one of us decided that we both could fit comfortably in the backseat to do that?"

"In my defense, I do recall a certain someone who couldn't get my pants off fast enough. It takes two to do what we did. That reminds me, you owe me a new shirt. You ripped a few buttons off of this one."

She blushed recalling the hurried rush back to the car. It wasn't exactly how she would have preferred their first time to be after such a long absence, but she had to admit the sex was great. It probably ranked up there with that time they went to Vegas for Spring break last year and the hot tub incident there. Her body shuddered at the thought. An all too familiar warmth pooled between her legs recalling what they had just done. Luckily, Akira was too immersed with driving the car to see the faint blush and quiver of her body or he would have seen the obvious tell tale signs of her bodily reaction. He probably would have pulled the car over right away with that hungry look in his eyes basking in pride at how he could affect her so.

"Not necessarily. I've heard guys can get the job done with their trusty hand. Perhaps you and Mr. Righty need to get reacquainted with your buddy down there. We can't always go running off into the car when the urge comes along."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. you don't know me that well, do you? I've got things all planned out. I've been mapping out spots around campus for us to christen."

The side of her face twitched uncontrollably. Something told her he wasn't exactly joking about mapping out the campus. "Uh huh." She decided to end the conversation knowing that whatever she said would lead to a loss on her side. "

Akira chuckled to himself watching her shapely and just asking to be groped posterior wriggling next to his head. He slowly pulled up into the driveway of the Hanazawa mansion keeping his eyes trained on the road ahead of him. Temptation gave in when he let one hand go off the steering wheel and rested it on her rear. "This is a nice way of driving." A lazy grin spread over his face as he drove.

"Get your hand off my ass!" Tsukushi growled. She blew a wisp of hair out of her face, as she dug under some of the junk Akira had apparently accumulated in the bottom of the his car. Finally, she slumped back into her seat, and crossed her arms over her chest huffing. "There must be some kind of black hole in here or something. How do you lose a bra in a car?"

"It happens. You know how it is. Lose a bra here, lose a panty there."

"So, you have ravaged many a woman before in your car?" The words were coated with a hint of malice and annoyance at what he was implying. It was a rule between them that they leave past relationships and escapades in the past. There was a certain limit to sharing.

He sighed to himself knowing that tone of her voice and the meaning of her silence. Silence was never a good thing when it came to Tsukushi. Silence was never a good thing with any woman. He silently wondered to himself if there was some sort of biological thing with women and their sulking deathly silences. Slowly, they came to a stop in front of her house, and he pulled the car into the small driveway.

She moved to get out of the car as quickly as possible not wanting to deal with him anymore. A few minutes before she considered inviting him inside for an encore performance of the car in her bedroom, but the mood was pretty much killed. Her hand reached to pull the car door open, but she found herself unable to open the door. "Unlock the door," she ordered.

Akira sighed and leaned his head back in the seat trying to contemplate the best route of defense to get back in her good graces. "I didn't mean it like that. How long are we going to focus on what I used to do? I'm marrying you, doesn't that mean anything to you? I want you, Tsukushi, and not any of those other women." He cupped her chin in the palm of his hand pulling her to look at him. "I love you, and I mean that. I screwed up once. I'm only human, and all I'm asking is that we just forget what happened. We can't let my past track record hang over us all the time. They can have my past. You are my now and my future."

She leaned into his touch feeling rather foolish now for overreacting. She hated the twinge of jealousy that always seemed to loom in the back of her head that perhaps everything they had built could be destroyed so easily, that maybe one day Akira would wake up and decide he wasn't cut out for the whole monogamous thing. It was that exact sentiment that restricted herself from marrying him tomorrow. Her trust in him had been shattered after the incident, and in a way, and she blamed herself for contributing to his lapse in faithfulness. It was her fault that no one knew of their relationship. She selfishly let him handle the stress of having to keep their big secret from practically the world.

"I know." Tsukushi grasped his hand before pulling it up to lightly kiss the back of it. "We both have a lot of mistakes to make up for." She pulled back, but was only pushed further into him by his insistent hand grabbing the back of her head and pulling her towards him. Her shock wore of quickly as her lips brushed against his before being pressed more forcefully into a deep, languid kiss.

He pulled back keeping his face downcast and his gaze away from her. His heavy breaths echoed in the car intermingled with hers. "I think we better get out of this car before we have a repeat of before. My back still kinda hurts from being jabbed by the stick shift."

"Mhmm," she murmured through heavy lidded eyes.

Akira leapt out from his side of the car and met Tsukushi at her side before she even had a chance to step out. Slipping an arm beneath her, he scooped her up bridal style kicking the car door closed with his foot. "The next thing on my list was to christen your place," he smirked. "How about we get an early practice on the wedding night?"

A sudden boldness took over her as she brought his face down into a crushing kiss. "Less talking," she growled against his lips. "Inside now!"

The happy couple stumbled towards the front door not even realizing the small show they had put on for their visitor waiting at the front door.

"Ahem."

Tsukushi broke away from Akira's lips and looked up turning a dark red upon seeing the person at her door. "Rui!" She squirmed in Akira's hold, and managed to slip onto the ground onto her feet. Her hands grabbed at her shirt and skirt trying to tug them into some resemblance of order. "What are you doing here?

"Yeah, Rui, what are you doing here?" Akira ground out letting his frustration and annoyance show for being interrupted.

He pointed towards the open door and the van parked behind the house. "My mother sent me here to help the delivery men, since no one was home to let them in."

"Oh god, I completely forgot about the time. You're a lifesaver, Rui."

"Well, one of us has to keep their feet planted on the ground and their pants closed."

Akira cocked his head to the side shocked at the sudden jibe from Rui. Previously, the stoic young man had found his lascivious nature entertaining and for lack of a better word, endearing, embodying all that was one of his best friends. The only difference now was that the object of his affections happened to be another one of their best friends. "What the hell crawled up your ass?"

Tsukushi put her hands over her face in mortification. Being caught by Rui in such a compromising position oddly felt like being caught by her parents. However, it was perturbing to see how overprotective he was being after she had asked him to not make such a big deal out of the confidential information she had given him. "Please drop it, Rui."

"Fine, I will, but I won't forget."

"We need to talk later. I don't think we clearly discussed the information I gave you," she whispered to him as she brushed past him leaving behind a brooding Rui and a confused Akira. Putting on a brave face and cutting right through the awkward tension, she plastered one of her genuine happy smiles. "I'm going to go check out my new darkroom."

"Hey Akira." Rui's face remained impassive with a stony contemplative mixture in his expression. A hint of distrust and anger radiated from him. "You're fly is open."

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Rui descended the steps stealthily wincing when the wooden board beneath his foot let out a low groan. He stopped for a second making a mental not to get someone to check out the faulty step in case the next person to pound their foot into it ended up falling through. He was only brought out of his thought when Akira's knee jabbed into his back.

"Sorry," Akira laughed. "You could move a little faster."

"Oh my god!"

"What?! What's wrong?! "Akira and Rui both yelled simultaneously. They both leapt down the last few steps and resulting in a small collision from behind for Rui. They both stumbled forward barely missing a run in with the nearby wall.

Tsukushi spun around and began jumping up and down in excitement. Actually, it was more of a little jumping dance that she was quite well known for among her friends. No real words could coherently come out of her mouth, so basically, she resembled more of a shrieking, giggling, ball. After a few more jumps and a few more "oh my gods" she finally managed to catch her breath and speak. "Look at this equipment! It's so freaking awesome!"

"I'm sorry, but what is the big deal?" Akira asked. He walked into the room inspecting the equipment that took up most of the small space. Everything pretty much looked the same as the developing lab Tsukushi had left behind in New York for the exception of the new quality of the machinery.

Tsukushi shook her head in disbelief and quickly began to piece together what had happened. Her tone came out accusing as she pointed a finger at Rui. "You did this didn't you?!"

His lips twitched into a smug smirk at how well his small surprise was. "I don't know what you are talking about. All I know was that you faxed a list of equipment you needed for your lab to the house. I just sent it over to the store with a few adjustments."

She was still gobsmacked by the absurdity of it all, but the seemingly good mood she was in darkened. "The stuff I asked for was the normal quality stuff. Do you realize that this enlarger costs $10,000! The one I ordered was only $500 and even I thought was stretching my budget. You are crazy if you think I'm keeping half of this. There's no way I can afford it all."

Rui shrugged his shoulder opting to ignore her rants. To him, the amount he spent was trifling. "Forget about it. My father told me to make sure you had everything you needed before you started working for us. You couldn't have expected our company to allow you to work with shoddy second-rate equipment. We do have an image to uphold. Like it or not, the equipment is yours. I also ordered a few of the latest camera models, which are in the case to your right. Use it or don't use it." He spun on his heel to make a hasty exit smirking to himself how much she hated it when he got in the last word.

"Umm.... Rui?" Akira meekly spoke up.

Rui shook his head refusing to look back. This was one argument he was going to win. And that was the last thought before a shoe went flying through the air connecting with the back f his head.

"Ow!" he groaned rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head where a rather familiar size six flat had hit him. He bent down on one knee picking up the dangerous weapon and began waving it angrily in the air. His small moment of regal dignity went out the window. "What the hell were you thinking hitting me in the head with your shoe?!"

A muffled snort, which slowly progressed into sputtered laughter echoed in the room. Akira's face was all but about to explode with held in laughter. Already his cheeks were burning red and small specks of tears formed in the corner of his eyes.

Tsukushi stood her ground and planted her hands firmly at her hips with her shoulders squared in what could be construed as a either offensive or defensive stance. "I don't take any of that rich boy crap and don't even dare try to use that tone with me, Hanazawa Rui."

"Oh, she used your full name. You're in for it now," Akira mumbled.

Her glare shot to the side at her boyfriend not liking his need to butt in. The meaning was apparent by the way he instantly clamped his mouth shut. "I will take the equipment as a loan from the company. Thank your father for his concern, but as smug as you think you are you aren't doing me any favors. Let's get this straight, the both of you." The meaning was not lost on either of them at her references to the only other two people in room besides her. "For this year, I am Makino Tsukushi. I am not Rui's childhood friend. I'm not Akira's fiancée. I don't want any of your so called favors drawing any extra attention to me besides the fact that some nobody shows up deciding to live at the Hanazawa mansion, conveniently has situated herself in good terms with the infamous F4, and has landed herself a coveted position in the Hanazawa Corporation. It baffles me to think that you two are expected to one day handle multi-billion dollar deals with a complete lack of commons sense. People do have eyes and ears, and I don't need to deal with people getting all freaked out by me because of who I associate with. I like to keep my life as normal as possible, so that means you two have to get it through your thick skulls that I don't want anymore favors." The tension in her shoulders eased at the winding down of her tirade, but she had a few more spurts of frustration to vent. Her voice lowered and softened a bit. "Listen, I'm not saying I'm ashamed of you guys, but you have to realize how hard this is going to be for me. Akira, I need to learn to trust you again just as much as you need to learn to trust yourself and me. Pushing me to pick up exactly as we were before is going to take me some time. I love you, but don't push me. And Rui, you need to learn to not coddle me so much. I'm all grown up and I can fight my own battles. It's a big deal to me that all my work is created from me alone. The favors end with this studio. I didn't make a big deal of it before when you helped me go down to register for my classes, but I don't feel right about doing things the unconventional way. Not everyone can waltz into the registration office and demand that a space be made in a class when there already is a heavy waiting list. So from here on out, I pay for myself and I take care of my problems by myself. When I need your help I'll ask. For now, I need both of you to back off. " A cool sensation of relief washed over her at having said her fill of what had been bothering her for quite some time. She had her reservations before she came back to Japan that most of what she predicted would happen. All of the stress that had been building broke through the damns after the inadvertent confession of the true state of her engagement and the deep rooted fears she hid so long. Taking shaky steps across the room, she chastely kissed each of them on the cheek. "I love you both, but I swear you're going to smother me to death one of these days. By the way, I'm keeping the equipment, but that doesn't mean I'm not finished being annoyed at you Rui. And Akira, you can burn that map of yours, but I made this spare key for you to come here anytime you want." Slipping the key into his hand, she walked away.

"What was that?" Rui asked. "Geez, you're fiancée has some mood issues."

Akira contemplatively tapped a finger over his chin. "She doesn't start her period until the twenty third. Then again, I like my women feisty."

"Idiot!"

The matching shoe whacked its target on the back of his head, "Ow! Damn, I forgot how good her aim is."

"How did she hear us?"

"I don't know, but it really creeps me out," Akira laughed. His ears searched for the sound of the door closing at the top if the stairs. Pulling his ring of keys from his pocket, he latched the new one to the bunch sighing. "I guess my plans blatant voyeurism around campus have gone up in flames."

"When has a girl ever stopped you from getting your way? You always get what you want one way or another."

In the dim, musty basement Akira's head remained lowered. His eyes were fixated on his task toying with the jangling keys in his hand. "I knew we would have to have this conversation sooner or later," he resentfully stated. "I guess this was exactly what Tsukushi feared the most about letting everyone know about us."

"I don't want to be in the middle of you two."

"Neither do I. Who am I to intrude between Tsukushi and Rui, two names that have become synonymous." Shaking his head, a nervous laugh emitted from his lips. "Maybe this is what I deserve. No one can better give you such a debilitating sense of self loathing rather than the master himself, Hanazawa Rui."

A frown settled on his pursed lips as Rui thoughtfully contemplated where this conversation would be heading. He had no intentions of telling her. He knew better than that. By his quick calculations and rather astute memory, the dates and times led him to a conclusion he dreaded to be real. "She told me about what happened."

"I would have guessed she would sooner or later. Nothing goes left unsaid between her best friend and her. So, we're not that perfect. It's not a crime. Or better yet, I'm not so perfect."

He advanced on him snatching the set of keys from his hand. "If you hurt her, I swear I will hurt you tenfold. She's not just another one of your girls. I can forgive how callous you can be at times. It's ironic how everyone sees you as the most caring and loyal one of us all. Then again, you hide it all so well. The slightly transparent laid back façade. You've just learned to hide your tracks so well. I know one thing for certain. That night, that girl, she wasn't just any girl either. I can bet that if Tsukushi knew who she was, she wouldn't have come here."

"Well, it's not like we all don't have our indiscretions. What happened between her and me will never happen again. It was a one time thing. I haven't touched another woman since that night."

"And what about all the others before her? Were those one time things, too?"

"That's none of your business. I made a promise to never screw up again and I won't. I need her a hell of a lot more than you'll ever understand."

"Oddly enough I do. I'll what she wanted of me. I won't get involved unless she asks for my help. However, be forewarned that I won't let you ruin her life. If this isn't the real deal you know what will happen."

"I know." Akira nodded his head. "I've already got Tsukasa on my ass about this."

"I think we have an understanding then."

"We do."

While this secretive agreement was made a few feet away from her presence, Tsukushi had no idea of the ramifications that would come. Already a few obstacles had been cleared, but how long could she last. She tipped the cup of coffee she had made for herself to her lips taking slow sips to let the warmth it provided take effect. Her eyes would glance over at the closed door leading to her basement every few minutes. It had been about twenty minutes since she had finished her outburst and left the two men to deal with their issues on their own. It was a becoming a bit too easy to pretend to not see what was so apparent, to ignore what she knew. After some deliberation, she put her cup down ready to go down and check on them, but was stopped by the ring of the telephone.

"Hello," she answered breezily with an innate ease. Quickly the smile on her face slackened to be replaced by a bit of shock.

"I thought I asked you to call us as soon as you got there."

"I'm sorry, I forgot to call you last night. I was a bit too busy moving in and stuff. Everything is going fine. Don't worry so much."

"Well, I'm supposed to worry about you sometimes. These past few years, you've been a bit too impetuous for your own good. You've been lucky that things have always seemed to work themselves out. Are you sure you want this?"

She nodded her head listening to the speaker over the line even thought they could not possibly see her. "He's a bit different, I guess, but nothing seems out of place. He seems to be taking it all better than I expected. I know you and he aren't exactly thrilled by my choice, but I need to live my own life. If it's all a mistake, then it's my mistake."

"We won't stop you then. You seem pretty much intent in going through with this."

"I need to do this. And if he hates me for it, then at least I won't have to live with the regret of what if."

"Your love runs deep, doesn't it?'

Leaning back against the kitchen counter, she sighed. "So much that it scares me."

"I don't want to see you get hurt. I really hope you know what you are doing."

"I do, Mama. I do."

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A/N: It's bad. I know it's bad. Bwah! This is what happens when you try to finish a chapter that's been sitting on your desktop for the last three months. Maybe it'll jump start some kind of plot. One day it'll come to me.


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